


Secrets Within

by Deducing_machine



Series: Secrets Within - Larry Stylinson [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Diary/Journal, F/M, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Multi, True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-29
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2017-12-30 21:16:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 48,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1023479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deducing_machine/pseuds/Deducing_machine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Leave Me Today

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my second multi chapter fic. Don't worry, I haven't abandoned my other one! This is just something I thought of in lesson! Enjoy!!

Nobody knew why Harry had been so off for the last few months, but what they did know, is that he was gradually getting worse.

The once happy-go-lucky, high-spirited teenage had turned into a dull, anti-social, moody guy, who spent most of his time locked in his and Louis' bedroom, his head buried in his diary, scribbling away thoughts that nobody else was allowed to see. The only one who ever saw him past concerts and interviews, was Louis. Each night, he would silently creep into their shared bed, hoping and praying that maybe he would talk, but he never did. He just lay there, clinging to his leather bound diary, back turned to him. 

To the public, however, there was no change what-so-ever. His persona completely changed whenever the cameras were around, back to the old Harry that everybody knew and loved. He'd flirt with all the guys, hugging and kissing them playfully on the cheek to keep the fans happy. He'd laugh and joke in the interviews, making out that everything was alright, just like nothing had ever happened.

But as soon as the cameras were off, he would immediatly change. The boys never mentioned it to him, well, not after Louis had tried and ended up nearly deaf with his shouting rant. Louis had still slept with him, but he could never sleep, half with worry that he would do something drastic in the night, and half with hope, that maybe he would turn over and talk, but it never happened. 

Finally, the tension in the house became too much for the guys, and they asked, full of regret, for Harry to be moved out. The 4 boys went out, telling Harry they were going to get something for tea, and after getting no reply as usual, they left for the office. They sat in front of the management and told them everything, tears in their eyes, wishing they didn't have to resort to this.

(Flashback) 

"So then boys, come in. I got your text Liam, what is all this fuss about?" Their manager said calmly, his eyes scanning over the 4 boys as they came in and sat down, a curious look on his face appearing when Harry didn't appear.

Liam was the first to speak, taking a deep breath, before beginning to tell the story.

"Well, as you have probably noticed, Harry isn't here today, but that's what our problem is"

"Harry?" The manager questioned, confused.

Harry, in their eyes, had always been the good boy, accepting whatever proposals they gave him with a pinch of salt, no matter how much they hurt him.

"Well, yeah, you see" Continued Liam, the tears already starting to well in his eyes.

"Harry, he hasn't been himself lately. He won't talk to anyone, he locks himself away in his room, he never comes down to eat, Louis has to take it up to him otherwise he wouldn't eat at all. He blanks us out the minute the cameras are off! Yet on stage and in interviews, he is the same as he was before, in fact, he even laughs and jokes around more than he used to honestly" 

Liam stopped talking as the tears started to roll down his face, NIall pulling him in for a hug as he broke down in his arms, the thought of losing Harry finally hitting him. The manager sat there shocked, trying to take it all in.

"Has... has anyone tried talking to him about it? Seeing what is wrong?" He asked, worry lining his voice.

"I have" Said Louis, as he shakily raised his hand.

"He just screamed at me, telling me to mind my own buisness. Saying that I was making it all worse for him, before he pushed him away and stormed off to the bus. He hasn't spoke to any of us since, not even me. Not past on the stage or in interviews anyway."

Louis then also looked down, and cried, remembering clearly the day he had tried to speak to Harry. The vemon in his best mate's voice pierced through him and shocked him to the core. Zayn also budged across on the plush leather sofa, pulling the older boy onto his knee and rubbing his back soothingly. Zayn had been shocked himself when he saw it, but he knew that it would be nothing compared to what it did to Louis. They had been inseparable, and now they were too far apart.

"So, I'm guessing you want him out of the house?" 

The 4 boys nodded in unison, not able to speak the word themselves. They didn't want to do it, but it was the only way to solve it. They couldn't be thenselves when he was in the house like that, always scared of what he would do. They all slid together in a group hug, knowing that they had done the right thing, but with total regret.

"Well, that's pretty easily solved for you guys. It's not something I ever thought I would be doing, but you are in the middle of the tour, so he can't take a break, and also, by the looks of it, you could do with a break from him. We will send a car in the morning, and give you his new address. Ok boys?" 

The boys looked up together and nodded again, breathing a sigh of relief that they might just be able to sleep the next night.

"Would you like us to tell him?" Their manager asked, mainly looking at Louis as he spoke.

"Yes, please, if you.." Liam began, but was cut off by Louis.

"No, Liam.... I... I will do it, please. I... I think I need to." 

The boys all looked at Louis with surprise, but as they caught the gleam in his eye, they finally understood what he meant. He couldn't let Harry go in his heart, and the only way he could let him move out is by making sure that he knew he was cared about back home, and that Louis cared about him. They each individually went to hug him, and he let out a shaky breath, knowing what he had just put himself up for.

"Ok then boy, someone will see you in the morning. I'm sorry that it has had to come to this, but I'm glad you have managed to sort it out sensibly. Bye for now, and... Good Luck, Louis."

Louis shot him back a small smile, before opening the door and leading the 3 other boys out. They walked to the car and travelled back in silence, knowing what they were about to face. As they pulled up to the house, Niall began to stand up, but Liam grabbed him arm, exchaning glances with Louis in a silent conversation. 

"I think we ought to give them some time alone, let Louis try to talk him round?" Liam said, as Louis nodded him head.

The other 2 boys agreed, and relaxed back in their seats, as Louis slid open the door and climbed out, shooting a small smile to the boys before sliding the door closed. He took a deep breath as he watched the limo drive away, and turned to the door, bracing himself before walking in.

Louis slowly and silently went into the house, closing the door quietly, trying not to disturb Harry. He could faintly hear the noise of the shower running, and decided to go up, knowing that he would back out if he didn't do it now. He slowly walked up the stairs, trying to make sure they didn't creak, and when he finally reached the top, he stood still, wondering whether to wait in the bedroom for him, or go and confront him in the bathroom. 

Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open, and Harry walked out just wrapped in a towel, at first oblivious to Louis stood in front of him. When he looked up and saw him, his face controted into a look of horror, and he sprinted into their room, slamming the door closed behind him. Louis stayed there, shocked by his best mate's actions. He had seen him naked many times before, and he couldn't understand why he was so worried by it now. Determined to find his answers before Harry left, he cautiously walked to the door and knocked, before pulling on the handle and walking in.

The room.. was a tip, but that wasn't what shocked him. All of his clothes were piled on the bed, and it looked like Harry had been lay in the middle of them. As he seached around for Harry, he found him stood behind the curtain, looking like he was frantically trying to put some clothes on, the towel peeking out, discarded on the floor. As we waited, he began to fold all his clothes up and put them back away, deciding not to ask why. 

After about 20 minutes of silence apart from the odd shuffle from a still hidden Harry, and the sound of Louis' drawers moving, all Louis' clothes were away, and Louis decided to sit on the bed, before bracing himself and starting to talk. 

"Haz, Harry, I don't know what the hell is going on with you lately. You won't talk, you won't even sit with us, all you do is shut yourself in here and write in your journal. I'm... sorry. I'm sorry if it's something that I have done, and I won't ask you about it, because I clearly rememeber what happened last time. You hurt me, Haz, you really did. Both with your words and your actions. What happened to us? Larry Stylinson, the world's best bromance and possible romance? I want to know you again Harry, and so do the rest of the boys. But, it's been 3 months of this now, and... We.. I... Nobody can live with it anymore. So... as much as I really regret doing this, you... you have to move out. Tomorrow. And... you can come back whenever you want, just... please... be in a better mood when you get back? I really didn't ever think we would be separated, but I can't sleep anymore! I want to sleep with you, but it's so tense in here that it's impossible for me to sleep. And I know you don't either, so it's the best way. The bed is always here for when you get back, but please, please know that we are only doing this for the best. I love you, Harry Edward Styles. But right now, it feels like you hate me, especially when you ran away earlier. I will always be waiting for you, whenever you fell like coming back. I'm sorry. I'll leave you to pack and see you later."

 

Louis finished his speech with a chocking voice, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over, but determined not to let Harry see him cry. He slowly got up from the bed, and shot a glance at the curtain, where Harry was still stood, not have moving an inch or made a sound whilst Louis had been talking. Louis wiped a stray tear from his cheek, and walked swifly out the room, shutting the door behind him, before running into Zayn's room and collapsing on the bed. He broke down, sobbing into his pillow, his whole body shaking with the force of the sobs.

2 hours later, the other boys returned, and went straight to their rooms, deciding not to check on Harry. Zayn walked into his and immediatly saw Louis, still crying from earlier, but his voice was horse and his body limp, without energy. He ran over to the bed and pulled him into his arms, rocking him softly, whispering sweet nothings in his ear as he tried to calm him down.

"I've lost him, Ze. I've totally lost him!" Louis sobbed into Zayn's shoulder, his voice totally broken.

Zayn held him even tighter on hearing those words, knowing that Harry had either totally blanked him, or gone off on one earlier. The elder boy was usually the most optimistic of them all, and to see him like this was heart breaking. 

"Do you wanna sleep with me tonight Lou? You know you are always welcome" Zayn asked quietly, kissing the top of Louis' head softly.

"No, but thankyou for the offer. I... I need to make it as normal as possible, and... this could be my last night with him. I have to do this, both for me and for him" 

Louis stopped crying, but his voice was still croaky from all the crying, and he slowly pulled away from Zayn. He gave him a small smile, letting him know that he would be ok, and walked from the room. As he approached the door to his and Harry's room, he took a deep breath, knowing that he had to keep it together until he left.

As he walked in, his eyes widened in shock at how different it looked from 2 hours earlier. All of Harry's stuff was gone, packed in 3 large cases which were stood next to the door. He hadn't left a single scrap of evidence that he ever lived in here visible. All his pictures and posters were gone, his pillow cases, all his shoes were packed, apart from a small pile of clothes that he had got out for tomorrow.

And there Harry lay, right on the edge of the far side of the bed, clutching his journal in his arms. Louis knew he wasn't asleep, but knew better than to try and talk to him. He closed the door behind him, and got unchanged in the dark, chucking his clothes into a pile in the corner. He walked over to the bed and slid between the sheets, trying his best not to move the mattress too much. He rolled over onto his back, like always, so that he could see Harry out of the corner of his eye but without looking like he was looking at him.

But, as it was his last night with Harry, for now at least, he moved onto his side so that he was fully facing Harry. He took in the features of his toned muscles, broad shoulders and long neck line, and he finally landed on his hair. His lovely, long, soft, curly hair. He remembered the times when he could just reach over and run his fingers through it whenever he wanted, and sighed, knowing that those days were long gone. Because he had been crying all night, coupled with the fact he hadn't slept properly in months, he was actually too tired to stay awake all night. As he allowed his head to sink into the pillow, he let a small whisper escape his mouth.

"I don't want to lose you Harry. There will always be a place in my heart for you, always."

Louis reluctantly let himself drop to sleep, but Harry didn't budge anyway, however, a small single tear drop did slowly run down his face.

___

Louis woke up early in the morning, after a restless night's sleep. He glanced at the clock, the only thing left on his side table now that all Harry's stuff was packed. 5:30 am. He took a quick glance over at Harry, who was silent apart from the low sound of his heavy breathing. He looked so peaceful, just lay there, and then he decided to do something that could cause a problem, but he just couldn't resist. He lent over, and placed his lips on the back of his shoulder blade. He felt Harry tense at the contact, but he was determined, and he let his lips linger a little while longer before slowly pulling away. But, before he stood up, he lent over again and whispered softly in his ear.

"I'm going to really miss you Hazza, I really am. Please, whatever this is, let me help you through it. It's going to kill me seeing you go today, so please don't be shocked if I let a tear escape. You are still, and you will always be my best friend, my Hazza, and you will never leave my heart. And I will always be your Loubear, because I would be lying if I said I ever wasn't. I love you Hazza, and I'm truly sorry. Please, forgive me and come back."

Louis gently placed his lips to his cheek and pecked it softly, before totally pulling away, crawling off the bed and slipping quietly from the room, before venturing downstairs to make a drink. Surprisingly, Liam was already up, and was stood in the kitchen, doing exactly that, so he grabbed another cup when he heard footsteps, and poured Louis a drink as well. The pair took their drinks and sat around the breakfast bar. They sat in a comfotable silence as they sipped their drinks, before Liam put his down, and reached over towards Louis, who extended his arm and held his hand.

"Today's the day Lou. How you feeling?" Liam asked, rubbing his thumb softly over the back of Louis' hand

"Not good, honestly Li. I've tried to talk to him again, I've tried everything to get a response from him, but he's still as distant as usual. I... I even kissed his shoulder this morning and whispered into his ear, but there was nothing. Not even a whimper, no noise, no reaction at all. I can't do this, how can I just watch him walk out that door?" Louis replied, his voice cracking again as the walls he built up came crashing down against at the thought of him leaving.

Liam got up and walked around towards him. He took his hand and led him to the living room, laying down on the sofa and pulling Louis down to lay on him, as the pair held onto eachother. Liam began to realise what effect it really would have on Louis, as Louis totally broke down again in his arms.

A little while later, both Niall and Zayn came down, and saw the pair on the sofa. They walked over and sat beside them on the floor, Zayn grabbing Liam's free hand and Niall grabbing Louis' and they all sat together in a circle, holding onto eachtother.

They must have sat there for hours, until they were awoken by the sound of knocking on the door, and they knew it was time. They all slowly got up off the sofa, and Liam went for the door, opening it to reveal Paul, their body guard, whom had been with them from the very start.

"Hey guys, look, I know this is all hard for you, so I'm just going to wait in the car for him. I'll call back later to tell you how he goes." Paul said, putting his hand on Liam's shoulder before walking back down to the car.

Harry appeared silently at the botton of the stairs, and Louis turned round and saw him. Harry turned round and started to walk back up the stairs, and Louis realised that he was silently asking for help with his bags. The boys shot him a small smile, and he began to follow Harry up the stairs and into their room.

Harry entered the room and grabbed two of the three suitacases. As Louis walked in, he began to walk out, and Louis' heart dropped as he realised that this was really it. He was going to leave without even a good bye. He walked over to the far side of the room and grabbed the last remaining suitcase, and took one last glance over the room before following him out again, realising that Harry had already gone down and left him. He slowly made his way downstairs, trying to prolong it as much as he could, and as he reached the bottom, he caught a glimpse of the other boys still stood behind the sofa. All 3 were crying, and he knew then that Harry must have walked without saying a word, and he gave them a sympathetic glance before heading to the door.

When he reached the car, Harry had already loaded his bags, and was sat on the seat closest to the door, ready to close it. Louis slotted his bag into the boot along with the others, and shut up the boot. Harry still had the car door open, and Louis knew that he wasn't going to let him go so easily. He walked around to the entrance and stood before him, reaching out and putting a hand on his right arm, the one with only "Things I Can" tattooed on it. Harry glanced up, and for the first time in nearly 3 months, he locked eyes with Louis. Harry bit his bottom lip, as if trying to prevent the words from coming out of his mouth, but said nothing, keeping the eye contact with the older boy.

They stayed like that for a few moments, each one trying to read the other, with Harry succeding and Louis failing. Harry could see the hurt, the upset, the pain in Louis' eyes, but couldn't bring himself to say anything. Louis could see nothing but a blank sheet in Harry's eyes, totally emotionless, which was just like he had seemed for the last few months. Finally, Louis moved his hand down, instead grabbing Harry's hand and bringing it to his lips. Harry made no attempt to pull it back, so Louis placed a lingering kiss to it, before gently letting go. Louis stepped back slightly, and grabbed the handle of the door, knowing that he wouldn't be able to keep it together much longer.

"Be safe, Hazza, and you know where I am if you need me. No matter what time. I promise. I love you, Haz, and I will miss you. Goodbye, for now"

Louis sent one last look at Harry, before pulling the handle and sliding the door closed. The windows were blacked out, so he couldn't see Harry at all, and he continued to stand there and watch as the car rolled away, until it finally drove out of sight. He turned to walk back into the house, where the other 3 boys were stood waiting for him, all crying silent tears. He walked in and shut the door, before turning to the boys.

"I'm... I'm going to go upstairs for a bit, if you don't mind. I just need some time."

The boys nodded their heads in understanding, and they each quickly hugged him, before he left for his and Harry's, or should he say his room now. He walked in and closed the door, before making his way over to the bed. He slid under the covers on Harry's side, and breathed in his scent, relishing his musky smell for the last time. 

But, as he went to move his legs further under, he hit a hard object under the covers. Confused, he dragged it up with his feet, and he gasped when he realised what it was.

Harry's leather bound diary.

He slowly picked it up, running his hands over the edges, remembering all the times he had seen Harry clutching it to his chest for dear life. 

But why had he left it?

Should he take it to him?

But then he realised, he might have left it for a purpose. What if it could tell him all the secrets as to his odd behaviour? Louis decided that, after just watching his best mate go away without even properly saying goodbye, he deserved to know. So, he sat up in bed, switched the light on, and began to read.

The Personal Diary of the one Mr Harry Edward Styles....


	2. The Start Of It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Louis begins to read, and it starts way way back when they first met...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I had 3 demands for an update, and I couldn't resist!! Enjoy and comment please!!

Dear Diary,

I know that I was given this by my great-grandfather in his will, but up until now I have never had a reason to use it. But today, my life changed, for the better I'm sure, and in many more ways than one I can assure you...

Today, it was bootcamp, and OMG I absolutely loved it! I sang "Stop Crying Your Heart Out" by Oasis, because it is one of my favourite songs, and I could've swore that I nailed it! But, I was wrong, I didn't get through, and I have to admit, I was shocked, and I did cry, a lot. 

However, something even better happened instead! Well, you see, we were all waiting in the room's backstage, like, all of us that had been rejected, and then suddenly, they called my name, along with 4 other guys and some girls to go back on stage! Well, it was so so scary, and me and the guys, even though we like, didn't know eachother before, all joined up in a big line. And guess what? Me and the guys got put into a group! Like, we are through to the Judge's Houses as a group! I couldn't believe it! We all jumped for joy, it was such a magical moment! And me and Louis ran across the stage in eachother arms, it felt like Heaven. (Oh yeah, about him, that's my other amazing thing)

Anyway, the 5 of us in the group, there's me, Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, and, last be not least, Louis Tomlinson. Niall, I actually met before my bootcamp audition, and I remembered him because he was just so hyper and happy all the time! I would LOVE to be more like him! He's Irish, so I call him a leprechaun, and he had bleach blond dyed hair which just looks awesome. I think all Irish people are awesome, especially him!! Liam, well he's probably the most sensible out of us all. He's been on X-Factor before, 2 years ago, and I remember watching him. I mean, he got through to Judge's House's last time!! He admitted himself earlier that he knew that he wouldn't have been able to cope with the live shows back then, and he knows he can know, so he is going to be even more amazing than he was back then! Yay! Zayn, well, he is, as we have now called him, our Bradford Bad Boy. He's kinda mysterious, but in a good way, and he;s really good looking, I'm surprised he hasn't got girls running after him! So, so far, we have a really amazing group!

And then, there's Louis..... Louis Tomlinson, the boy from the toilets.... Ok, maybe that sounds a bit weird, but we actually met before we got put into a group! Yeah, after my audition. he bumped into me in the toilets, and I remember the first words we said to eachother were "Hi" and "Oops!". I mean seriously, it was just so funny! We had a really long conversation in the bathrooms, and then he told me that he watched my audition and said that he thought I was really good!! (I didn't blush at all....). Anyway, then, he asked me for my autograph, and I gave him it, because he thought that I was going to go like really far, but he said no to giving me his, saying that it wouldn't be worth anything... I disagree...

But... after he walked away, I just couldn't get the image of his face out of my head... I caught a glipmse of his eyes, and they were like the sea, swimming with blue and sparkling like the sun catching a wave.. Breathtaking... And his hair, long, swept across his face... I just wanted to reach out and run my fingers through it all day... He was simply gorgeous... I mean, I know that I have always been possible bi-sexual, but truthfully, I've never seen such a... handsome man as him...

And, it's just my luck that, guess who then got to be in the group with me. Only the one and only Louis! I was over the moon when I saw him again, and when I found out that I would be working with him, I swear my heart skipped a beat. And when he hugged me on stage, I was like a firework, so happy that I could explode... And all because of his... The mysterious boy from the toilets... I cannot wait...

Well, I suppose goodnight for now, as I have to be up super early tomorrow so that I can make myself look good for when we meet up as a band so I can impress Louis.... Yay!!

Wish me luck!

Harry Styles xx

Louis finished the first entry with a lump in his throat. Harry had liked him from the moment they met. He was taken aback by the comments that he made about him, and he was definitely intrigued to find out more. Quickly, he ran downstairs and gulped down a glass of water, before sprinting back up and turning the page, wanting to know more about the boy back then...


	3. The Meeting of the Band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Louis continues reading the diary, and realised some very important things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I am amazed at the response I got for my first 2 chapters!! Thankyou! Admittedly, some chapters will be quite short, as it is planned for one entry per chapter, so updates should also be pretty speedy! I will try to update twice a day if I can, however sometimes it might only be once due to school. Anyway, here's the next chapter! Read, enjoy and comment please!!!!!!! Love you all, K xxx

Dear Diary,

Today... well, if i thought yesterday was good, today must be amazing! Because I have never ever felt this happy before in my life! Why? I will tell you.

Well, after I got up super duper early so that I could make myself look good for Louis (and the others as well, but mainly him), Mum made me a lovely celebratory full English for breakfast, and, for once, I got to have more than Gemma! Score!!

Anyway, we were all meeting up with Simon today to discuss band names and stuff, and really it was just a day to hang about and get to know eachother, being as we are technically all strangers. So, we set off at 9, and I arrived first.

The next to arrive, coincidentally, was the boy himself, Louis Tomlinson. He was wearing a gorgeous, soft, blue and white stripped sweater, and red chinos that were tight around his bum (Of course I wasn't looking!) and a pair of blue TOMS, which looked really good on him. Our mums both stood chatting away, (they seemed to get on really well, always a good for your boyfriend's mum to... oh wait, stop thinking ahead) and we decided to get to know each other a bit better. 

So, here is my fact list about Louis:

\- He was born on Christmas Eve in 1991, meaning that he is 18, so only 2 years older than me!

\- He comes from Doncaster

-His name used to be Louis Austin, but he changed it to his step dad's name (he seemed scared when he told me that, but when I explained that my parents were divorced as well, he seemed to relax again, point!)

\- He has 5 half- sisters - Charlotte (Lottie), Felicity, Georgia (only one on his dad's side), and then two twins Daisy and Phoebe

-He LOVES The Fray! (remind me to buy the albums!) and his favourite song is Look After You

-He played Danny Zuko in Grease in his high school (not surprised, he's gorgeous enough to!)

\- His dream is to play for Doncaster Rovers if he doesn't make it in music, as he already runs and plays in his own pub team

-He is a good piano player and he loves to write his own music

-He sleepwalks

And that's all I know about him so far! For some reason, I seem to be able to remember every little thing he says to me, I'm mesmerized!

Anyway, when the other guys turned up, we went inside Simon's mansion and had a look around (Honestly, it's massive)! We messed around a bit, ate some food and then talked for ages about ourselves. I did learn some things about the other guys, like Niall plays guitar, Zayn is Muslim, and Liam has a kidney infection,but other than that all my focus was on Louis. We all get along really well, and I think Liam and Zayn are already getting close, it's like we were all meant to be together.

Anyway, unfortunately, I don't get to see them (him) for another week now because we all still have either work or college etc. to go to, but, we will be meeting up in a studio to sing next time!! I can't wait!!

So, that's about it for today! I'll write again when there is next something interesting going on.

Bye and goodnight!

Harry xx 

 

Louis finished the entry with his mouth wide open in shock. He remembered back to that they, when he and Harry sat talking for an hour waiting for the other boys to arrive, and he was shocked to realize just how much attention Harry had paid to him! He realized that Harry had paid as much attention to him as he had to Harry, which then made him think, did I like him like that at the start? Louis closed the book shut and hid it under the pillow, deciding to sleep for a bit before reading on. He realized just how cold and empty the bed was without Harry there, but he could still smell his scent on the pillow, and he cried himself to sleep, both from what he had read and the space Harry had left behind.

It was going to be a long couple of weeks without him, but hopefully, Louis thought, this diary could help him unravel the secrets behind his mood swings, and maybe help him discover some home truths along the way...


	4. Love in the Form of a Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Louis sleeps for the first time in ages, and there is a surprise gift for him when he wakes up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many demands for a new chapter, so here it is! I will be posting the diary entry part in the next chapter, as I am trying to get it done tonight, so please, enjoy and comment, and the next chapter will be up soon!
> 
> Thankyou for your support guys!! K xxx

When Louis awoke, it was only 6pm, and he realised that, although he had only been asleep for around 4 hours, he was feeling more refreshed than he had done in ages. Maybe it was the fact he could still smell Harry's scent on the sheets, or whether it was because he wasn't constantly worrying about him like he had been previously, he had actually gone into a deep sleep, and he had a very nice dream.

He dreamt about the first X-Factor days, the ones that he had read about in Harry's journal just a few hours previous, and they were full of all the happy memories. The only difference was, at the end of the meeting at Simon's house, he dreamt that he and Harry had gone out together, like on a date, and he had woken up just as they were about to kiss.

Louis sighed, before rolling over to crack him back, and he realised that he was still tightly clutching Harry's journal to his chest. He pushed it away from him so that he could have a good look at the outside, and he realised that there was some writing on it. He sat up, curious, and turned on the bedside lamp, and attempted to read the scrawlings. At first, he couldn't make out what it said, but after after a few minutes, he realised what it said:

'She didn't deserve his heart, let me love'.

He re-read it a couple of times, trying to think of what it could mean. He came up with a few solutions, but then decided that it would be better to just leave it, thinking that he might find the answer later on in his thoughts. Louis thought for a moment about the other boys, and whether he should tell them about the journal. He knew that they had all thought that Harry had thought of him as more than a best mate, so the first 2 chapters would just prove them right. 

But, something in his mind made him protective of the journal. As much as the other boys had a right to see it aswell, Harry had left it for him. He had put it under their duvet, knowing that Louis would find it, not on the kitchen table or something, where any of them could've picked it up. He decided eventually that he would tell them about it, but ask if he could keep it to read it all first, as then he wasn't keeping it a secret, but he would be keeping to Harry's wishes as well.

He began pondering on whether to read another chapter before going down for something to eat, when there was a small knock on the door, and the smell of Chinese takeaway drifted through the cracks.

"Come in!" Louis shouted, not wanting to leave the bed just yet. 

The door slowly creaked open, and all 3 boys came in, Zayn and Niall immediately pouncing on the bed next to Louis, whilst Liam walked in holding Louis's plate of food.

"We thought you might want a bit of company, unless you still want some space?" Niall asked cautiously, before reaching over to hug Louis. Louis quickly hid the journal under the duvet and hugged him back tight, grateful for the contact. It was true, Horan hugs were officially the best, but none of them could figure out why! Niall eventually let go, and Zayn clambered over Niall to reach Louis, wrapping his arms tightly around the older boy, before slightly tickling his sides, making Louis laugh for what felt like the first time in forever.

Finally, Liam had his turn for a hug, and he carefully placed Louis's meal on the dresser before sliding on the bed the other side of Louis and slipping his arm around his shoulders, stroking his hair gently with the other hand. Louis turned to get a more comfortable position, but as he did so, the journal got pushed into the side of Liam's leg, and Liam reached down to grab it, thinking that it was Louis' laptop. He held it up to the light and gasped in realisation as he recognised what it was. Louis gulped as he saw what Liam had found, but then remembered that he was going to tell them anyway.

"That... That's Harry's diary isn't it? The one he always carried round and scribbled it, I'm sure of it!" Gasped Zayn, as he leant over to get a closer look.

"Yeah, I believe it is, but why is it here? Wouldn't he have took it with him? Louis?" Niall asked, immediately assuming that Louis had took it from Harry before he left without him noticing.

Liam flipped the book over in his hands, studying it closely, before handing it back to Louis, whom everyone was now looking to for answers.

"Well, actually, that's what I thought Niall." Louis started, looking Niall straight in the eye, before returning his gaze to the book before continuing.

"But, he didn't take it, and no, I didn't steal it from him if that's what you are thinking. When I came up earlier, I got into bed and it was hidden, under the sheets. He must have left it, and I have a feeling I know why." 

"But, he carried that everywhere, it could say anything in there" Zayn asked, leading to everyone staring at him, and then it clicked.

"He left it... to explain everything..."

"Yes" Louis continued, clutching the book tightly to his chest.

"But, I have a feeling he left it for me to read... So...."

"You want to read it before we do?" Liam finished for him, reading the elder boy's mind.

"Yes, please, if you don't mind?" Louis asked warily, hoping that they would agree.

"Of course, it is only right. He probably only wants you to read it anyway. But just, promise us one thing?" Zayn said, reaching over to grab Louis' arm.

"Yes?"

"Tell us what the problem was, if you do find it out? Please? Only at the minute I think we are all blaming ourselves, and it would put all our minds at rest."

The other boys nodded, and so did Louis.

"Of course I will, I know we all care about him, and trust me, I too want to find out, because it's killing me!" 

All 4 boys laughed together and came together in a group hug, the diary slipping back under the duvet for later. Eventually, they all let go, and Louis grabbed his plate of food and began ravishing it, as if he hadn't eaten in months. Well, truth be told, he hadn't, well not properly anyway. He was always too worried about Harry, making sure that he ate rather than himself, and now, he knew that Harry was safe on his own.

"Do you think he will be ok on his own?" Louis asked, swallowing his last mouthful of food.

"Yeah, I think he just needs some time to calm down and think alone to be honest." Liam replied soothingly, rubbing Louis' arm comfortingly.

"Did Paul come back then?" Louis asked again, looking directly at Liam this time.

"Yeah he did, says Harry went in without a word, but, Harry did give Paul something to give to you actually, gimme a sec" Liam said, letting go and running from the room, returning a few minutes later with a carrier bag.

He handed it to Louis and he quickly untied the handles and pulled out the items inside.

Harry's RAMONES top and his Hollister jacket. They had been Louis' two favourite items of Harry's clothing, a fact which he had probably mentioned to him several time, and he smiled, knowing that Harry had remembered.

He slipt them on, over his bare chest, and put the hood up on the jumper, deeply inhaling Harry's scent. He remembered that Harry had been wearing them when he left, so they still held a strong smell, something that Louis was more than glad about.

The other boys knew that Louis would want so time alone, so in turn, they all gave Louis a quick hug, before leaving the room, letting Louis be himself. As soon as they had walked out, Louis grabbed the journal from under the covers and checked the time. 7:15 pm. As he had already slept well for a bit earlier, he wasn't really tired, so he decided that he would read another entry in Harry's journal. He sat up, turning the bedside lamp off now that the main light had been put on by the boys, and he relaxed back into the pillow, ready to read the next part of his life...


	5. The Music of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Louis reads the next chapter in Harry's journal, and they reminisce about times gone by...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, is all I can say! I have been overwhelmed by all the comments, kudos and likes this story has got already, and I've only posted 4 chapters so far!! Thankyou so much to everyone who has read, left kudos, bookmarked and commented, it really does mean a lot to me!! I will be updating daily from now on due to the pressure of school work and my job, so don't panic! Here is the next chapter, and I really hope that you like it! So please read and enjoy, and comment please!! They really do make my day a lot better!! Enjoy!!
> 
> K xxxx

Dear Diary,

I've just got home from our first proper get together today at the studio, and I literally have come straight upstairs to write this, because, honestly, it has been so amazing that I want to be able to say EVERYTHING that happened!!

So, anyway, today, we all had to meet up at one of the big Syco rehearsal studios in London to see what our voices sounded like together and what type of music would suit us best ect. Liam, Zayn and Niall were already there, and then I got a text from Louis saying that he would be a few minutes as he was stuck in traffic.

Ah, that reminds me, I forgot to say last time! Me, Louis and all the guys exchanged numbers when we last met, and Louis and me have been texting loads!! He always sends me a good morning and a good night text, and it warms my heart everytime I see his name appear on my screen. It's only been the usual friendly chatter, but it cheers me up when I am talking to him, because it feels like he cares about me, which obviously makes me happy. I have been talking to the other 3 as well, but not as much, but we have been talking about going out for the day somewhere to bond, and I can't wait.

But, back to today. Eventually, Louis pulled up, and we all walked into the studio together, and my gosh, it was huge!! It had 6 room sized recording booths, a wooden floor (which looked like a dance floor) in the middle the size of the whole of my downstairs, and, scattered around the room, was every single instrument you could think of, and so many amps that I lost count! We all stood there for a moment in awe of it all, thinking about the amount of time we could spend in here recording in the future, and the shear amazingness of the place itself!

Niall was the first one to move, as he ran across the room and grabbed the nearest electric guitar, before setting up one of the smaller amps and setting it all up, then he proceeded to turn it and play a few notes. Zayn was next, and surprisingly, he actually went to grab one of the hand triangles and began beating it in time with Niall's strumming, making quite a sharp but nice melody. Liam followed him quickly, running to grab one of the wooden acoustic guitars, tuning it like Niall did and the 3 of them began playing, almost accidentally, something that closely resembled the tune to 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' by GreenDay. Louis ran over then to the piano in the corner of the room, joining into their rhythm, and they all quickly dropped into time. 

There was only me left, so, I just decided to go for the drum kit next to me, and began beating the drum parts out in time. We all played in perfect harmony, and then, as if we could read eachother's mind, we all stopped and began to play it correctly from the beginning, this time singing along with the words, taking it in turns. Niall started, and we went round in a circle.

Niall - Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last, wake me up, when September ends

Liam - Like my father's come to pass, seven years has gone so fast, wake me up, when September ends

Louis - Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars

Zayn - Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are

Me - As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost, wake me up, when September ends

Niall - Summer has come and past, the innocent can never last, wake me up, when September ends

Liam - Ring out the bells again, like we did when Spring began, wake me up, when September ends

Louis - Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars

Zayn - Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are

Me - As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost, wake me up, when September ends

All together - Summer has come and past, the innocent can never last, wake me up, when September ends. Like my father's come to pass, twenty years has gone so fast, wake me up, when September ends, wake me up, when September ends, wake me up, when September ends.

As we finished simultaneously, we all looked at eachother with huge smiles on our faces. Somehow, we had managed to all fall into rhythm together naturally, and our voices, if I can say so myself, sounded wonderful together. We all dragged a chair into the middle and sat in a circle, before bursting out laughing at the sheer amazement at what we had just achieved.

"Well, at least we know we sound good together now!" Liam exclaimed, and we all cheered, high fiving eachother.

"So then, that going to be our audition song for Judge's Houses then?" Niall asked us, and secretly I hoped that it would be.

"I was thinking more of a slow song" Louis said, rubbing his chin and looking like he was a genius thinking of a plan.

"I say, we sing Torn!" said Zayn, and we all sat there, thinking of how it would fit.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea Zayn, shall we try it?" I asked, and they all nodded.

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing around with the song 'Torn', testing out different parts to different voices, eventually deciding upon an order. By the time we had finished, it was 6pm, and we decided that we should all go out for a meal to bond for a bit.

Zayn looked on his phone, and found a Nando's just a few streets away from where we were currently. Niall's face lit up at the sound of Nando's, and he explained to us that he lives just around the corner from one, and he has been there so often that he has a black card, meaning that he gets all his meals for free! Score!

Whilst we were in Nando's (totally not taking advantage of the free food!), we all decided to tell eachother facts about ourselves to help us get to know eachother better. Everything that Louis said, he had already told me the last time we met, but I did learn quite a few things about the other guys.

Liam

\- He was born on the 29th August 1993, so he is older than me but younger than Louis.

\- He has two older sisters - Ruth and Nicola

\- His favourite colour was purple and his favourite film is Toy Story (aww!)

\- He lives in Wolverhampton

\- He has a weird phobia of spoons

\- He loves boxing

Zayn

\- Born on the 12th Jan 1993, so he is older than Liam but younger than Louis

\- He loves Harry Potter books

\- He can't swim

\- He has 3 sisters - Doniya,Waliyha and Safaa

\- His favourite song is Thriller by Michael Jackson

Niall

\- Born on the 13th Sept 1993, so he's the second youngest, meaning I'm the youngest!

\- He has an older brother called Greg

\- His favourite colour is green, not surprising since he's Irish!

\- He loves Derby County

\- He is very claustrophobic

There were lots of other things, but I'm too tired to write them all down!

Anyway, me and the guys are meeting up again next week for another rehearsal before we fly out to Simon's mansion in Spain, I cannot wait!

Louis said that we ought to meet up sometime this week, but with the massive distance between us (we worked it out , 85 miles!) we thought it might be too much hassle, so we are just going to text and Skype instead!

So, goodnight my dear friend, and I will write again when I next have something exciting to talk about, which will probably be next week after I meet up with the guys again! Yay!!

Bye for now,

Harry xx

Louis finished the entry with a smile on his face, thinking about that day, how they all just seemed to fit together perfectly, as if they were made to be together. He still wasn't tired, but he didn't really feel like reading another entry just yet, so he opened the door of the bedside table and slid the journal in carefully, so that it was safe for when he next went for it.

He could here the sounds of the TV downstairs, and decided to go and sit with the boys, as he hadn't really seen them all day. He took off Harry's jumper and T-shirt, folding them carefully and putting them under the pillow on Harry's side (He would always see it as that, as he planned to make sure he returned, and nobody else who ever replace him there). He grabbed a random T-shirt from his drawer and put it on, before walking from the room, turning the light off and closing the door, then walking down the stairs to meet the others.

When he got downstairs, he saw that they were all sprawled across the big sofa, a mess of legs tangled together like they usually were. Louis decided to do his normal routine, and vaulted over the back of the sofa, landing straight on Zayn's legs.

"Oww Louis! You could've at least warned me!" Zayn tried to be serious about it, but Louis gave him his trademark puppy dog eyes, and instead he just chuckled and pulled Louis down into his arms.

"So, feeling better Lou?" Liam asked, voicing the question on everyone's minds.

"Yes, actually, I am. And I know you are going to ask why, so I might as well just tell you. You see, Harry's diary, it goes way back to when we first got together, starting at bootcamp and then he writes eveyrtime he meets us. It's actually quite nice reading it, re-visiting all the first days. I mean, remember that first day in the recording studio?" Louis asked, glancing at the other boys.

"The one where we all started playing random instruments and somehow ended up singing GreenDay?" Niall said, and they all nodded their heads, thinking back to that day.

"Yeah, well he wrote all about that! You know what, I think, for some reason, things might just work out for the better?" Louis said with a smile.

"You think?" Said Liam curiously.

"Yeah. Because you know what, look at us. In here, inside, we are still the same people we were back then. But somehow, we have lost who we really are. And I think that, some times, we need to just look back and remember who we are." Louis replied, grabbing Liam's hand.

"Can we read it then? The diary I mean?" Zayn asked, running his fingers gently through Louis' hair.

"Erm... I... " Liam cut in and finished Louis' sentence for him.

"I think we should still let Louis finish it first. Only, the sooner he does, the quicker we can find out what is up with Harry, and the sooner we can get him back. I'm sure, once Louis has read it, we can aswell. But I think getting to the bottom of the problem with Harry is more important right now, yeah?" Liam squeezed Louis' hand in reassurance, and Louis smiled a thankyou to him.

"And this is why you are Daddy Directioner!" said Niall, and they all laughed, before coming in close for a group hug before settling back down to watch the TV, falling asleep on top of eachother.


	6. Sent With Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Niall gives some good advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Read, comment and enjoy!! K xxx

Louis was the first one to wake up out of the boys, his neck stiff and his back hurting from the position he had been lying in, wrapped up in Zayn's arm with his head on his chest. Carefully, he got up and untangle himself from the other boys' limbs, managing not to wake them, and stood up, cracking his back and neck and breathing a sigh of relief. It hadn't been the best idea from them all to sleep on the sofa, but, after a quick glance at the clock,11am, he noted that they had all managed to sleep for at least 14 hours peacefully, which, for him at least, was the longest since... well, since before the start of the tour! Louis felt fully refreshed and well rested, but then his stomach gave a loud rumble, and he chuckled to himself, before walking to the kitchen to make some food. 

Niall was the next to wake up, as if the smell of food had woke him up (which, knowing Niall, it probably had!), and also had the same stiff neck and back that Louis had, but also had the relief of feeling extremely well rested. His challenge to get up was a little harder, as he had Liam's head on his chest, and Zayn's legs over him, but the older two boys seemed to be in such a deep sleep, that they didn't even stir a bit when Niall moved them and slid out. He stretched out, and planted a quick friendly kiss on the two sleeping boys' foreheads, before following the smell of food, where Louis was attempting to cook scrambled eggs, and failing.

"Louis... what are you doing?" Niall asked, as he watched Louis break 4 eggs into a pan of milk.

"Making scrambled eggs, well, sort of, but I think I might have gone wrong..." Louis replied, looking confused at the pan in front of him

Niall began laughing uncontrollably, falling onto the floor clutching his stomach is laughter. Louis turned back to the pan, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. When Niall finally stopped laughing, he stood up and turned the heat for the stove off.

"And this is why Harry does the cooking" Niall said, picking the pan up and chucking the gloppy mixture down the drain, scrapping the remains into the bin.

"Yeah.. But someone has to cook when he isn't here, and you guys were asleep. We can't just order in every night" Louis replied, settling himself down at the breakfast bar. 

Niall washed out the pan, and pulled out a jug, and beckoned Louis over, showing him actually how you make the scrambled egg mixture, before pouring it into the pan and turning the heat back on. 

"Don't worry Lou, we will be fine. And he will be back before we know it" Niall said soothingly, wrapping one arm around Louis' shoulder whilst stirring the mixture with the other.

"I know Ni, I've just got to get my head around it" Louis replied, leaning into Niall and putting his head on his shoulder.

The two boys stood in a comfortable silence, until the eggs had finished cooking, and Louis reached up to grab two plates from the shelf, and Niall dished it out equally between them, putting the pan in the sink to soak. They both sat at the table scoffing their meals, whilst Zayn and Liam still slept soundly on the sofa. 

Louis finished first, and got up to pour them both a glass of orange juice, walking round this time to sit next to Niall.

"When's our next interview?" Louis asked, tilting his head to look at Niall upside-down. 

"Erm, in 3 days I think, it's the one where we show them round the tour bus and stuff" Niall replied, finished the last of his meals and pushing his plate away, jumping up to sit on the table to face Louis.

"You... do you think he will be any better with us?" Louis' voice dropped as he said it, thinking about the possibilities of what could happen.

"I don't have a clue Louis, how much of his journal do you think you will have read by then?"

"Well, I think it's about 100 pages long, and I'm about.. erm... 9-10 pages in I think?"

"Well, maybe if you get any hints from it, you might be able to help him, you know? Maybe send him a text with a few words on, showing him that you are reading it and that you understand him. He still cares about you Louis, that much is obvious. Show him that you care back."

"You know what, I might just go and do that. Thanks NI! Ps, how do you come up with such good ideas?!" Louis exclaimed, getting up and pulling Niall into his arms.

"I didn't know I did, I just thought that would be obvious!" Niall said back, squeezing Louis before letting him go so he could go upstairs.

Louis ran from the room and started jogging up the stairs, when he heard Niall shout

"GO GET YOUR MAN!" 

Behind him. He laughed, before continuing to go up, going straight to the room and shutting the door. He walked over to the bed, grabbing his phone from the side, and turning it on. The screen lit up, revealing that he had one new message. He typed in his password, and the message appeared on screen, and he gasped when he saw the sender.

Text From: Hazza

Message:

Much to Louis' disbelief, the message was totally blank. Knowing Harry, he had probably gone to type him a message and backed out, hitting the wrong button instead. Now that he knew Harry had thought about getting in touch with him, he immediately decided that he would send him a message. He clicked the new message button and pondered about what to write, when an idea struck him.

New Message - SMS

To: Hazza

Message: Wake me up when September ends, the perfect sky is torn. Stay forever young Haz. Love Lou xxx

Louis hit send, and it displayed that it had delivered, meaning that he knew Harry hadn't turned his phone off, or even worse, blocked him, which he once did when he was angry. That was the best thing about them all having iPhone's, it just made life a lot easier. Thinking that he wouldn't get a text back, he put his phone on charge and slipped his own clothes off, putting Harry's jumper and T-Shirt, before grabbing the journal out of the drawer and slipping under the covers, ready to read the next chapter of Harry's life...


	7. Instrumental

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Louis reads the next entry, and Harry reveals a little...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Read, comment and enjoy!! K xxx

Dear Diary,

 

Today, I met up with the guys for the last time before we jet off to Simon's villa in Spain for the Judges Houses stage, and if I say so myself, it was even better than the last time we met up!!  
As we already knew which song we were going to sing, we spent most of the afternoon practising that, perfecting it and even trying to play the backing track ourselves! (Which... Failed.... Epically!)   
After about 3 hours of rehearsing, we all took a break, and just started messing around with all the instruments, attempting to play something that we had never tried before, and it was hilarious!!  
Zayn tried to play the violin, but it just sounded like a cat screeching, my ears are still ringing!   
Liam for the piano, and Louis tried to help him, but he kept going wrong so he just started hitting random notes and buttons, putting different voice effects on, and made it sound like a cat, a dog, a choir, and even clapping at the end! Let's just say, there were 150 different voices, and we tried them all!!   
Niall went for the drum kit, and he hit the pads so hard I thought he was going to break them!! I showed him how to play a simple tune, but Niall being Niall, decided that playing a normal tune was boring, and made up some beats of his own, making up random lyrics which were so crazy that we all collapsed on the floor laughing!!   
Then, I went for the trumpet, which had always been an instrument I have wanted to play, but I soon found out why I had never done so before!! I couldn't get my lips in the right position, and I just ended up making a load of raspberry noises!! Way to embarrass myself!!  
Finally, it was Louis' turn, and he walked acrid and picked up a flute! And surprisingly, he was actually quite good at it! Admittedly, he wasn't in tune at all, and at times it did sound truly awful, but after a few minutes he managed to get a small tune going, and we all started clapping in time.   
Niall ran into the middle of the floor and began doing the Irish jig, which was really really good! He then tried to teach us all how to do it, but we keep tripping over our own feet with all the kicks and leg cross overs, and eventually we all ended up in a pile on the floor, laughing uncontrollably and clutching our stomachs. It really was one of the best moments of my life so far!   
We messed around for a while longer, each taking it in turns to sing a song. We all chose really stupid songs, like Thriller, the Macarena, cotton Eyed Joe ect, and we all sung and danced along to them all.  
Finally, it reached about 7 ish, and we had an idea! Why don't we all stop in a hotel for the night?! At first, it seemed like a great idea, and found an amazing hotel in the centre of London which was cheap enough for us all to afford! However, because none of us are over 21, we would have to have an adult with us, which defeated the point of it all, plus, when Liam rang his mum, he found out that he had a doctor's appointment at 8 tomorrow morning, meaning he couldn't stop anyway, and we wouldn't have done it if not all of us could stop.  
We went and ate in Nandos again, and then we all went back to the train station to catch our respective trains. Mine and Louis' trains were about half an hour after the others, so we sat talking about everything and anything while we waited.  
He told me he was playing a football match this weekend, and asked me to go and watch him, but I had to say no, because I'm working, but I've promised him that I will one day. He really is lovely, Louis is. I think we are going to be best mates, and I hope we do, because I've never had a proper best mate before!   
Anyway, I don't really have much else to say, so I will write again when I get to Simon's villa!! 

Bye for now!

Harry xxx

 

Louis closed the journal with a smile on his face, after reading the end bit about how Harry wanted him to be his best mate back then. The Harry in the entries seemed so different from what he was in real life, so timid and shy compared to the out-going, crazy, energetic boy that he had witnessed back then in the studios. Mind you, he thought, he was the same back then, well still a little bit now! When they returned home after the first few shows of the tour, he still hid from the cameras and told his family how glad he was to have the guys and how wonderful they all were. 

Just then, he was snapped out of his thoughts by his phone vibrating on the side, and he reached over to grab it, thinking it would be twitter. But it wasn't, it was something even better.

Text From: Hazza

Message: I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel. I'm cold and I am shamed, lying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed, into something real. I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn. You're a little late, I'm already torn

Louis read the text muliple times over, before bursting out crying. Harry now knew he was reading his journal, and had used lyrics of their first song together to tell Louis how he felt. Harry believed that Louis was too late to fix him, and this was his way of telling him that.

But, Louis was damned if he would accept he was too late, he knew he would not give up trying to get his Hazza back. He hit reply, and thought deeply about his reply before typing.

Text To: Hazza

Message: I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily, I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make. Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake. And in the end, you're still my friend, at least we did intend for us to work, we didn't break, we didn't burn. We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in, I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not, and who I am. I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough. I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up, still looking up. xxx

Louis hit send before he could change his mind about it. It had been one of their favourite songs to sing on the tour bus, and it expressed perfectly what he was feeling right then. He sighed as the 'Delivered' sign came up under his message, before putting it back on charge and placing the journal back in the drawer for later, before going back downstairs to the boys, who, if he had heard correctly, were now shouting at Niall to make them breakfast.... God help him!


	8. House Of Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Louis receives an upsetting text, and the boys have a rather eventful lunch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So for some reason this is now listed as anonymous, which I am trying to fix. Here's a long next chapter! Please, read, review, comment and enjoy!! K xxx

When Louis got downstairs, he was immediately pulled into the kitchen by Liam, and consequently also into the current flour fight between the other boys. From the looks of it, they had been attempting to get Niall to cook pancakes and failed, instead resorting to chucking flour at him as punishment. The kitchen was covered in a thick layer of flour, and looked like a garden after a heavy snow storm.

"Hey, that went in my eye!" shouted Zayn, who was now crouching in the corner with his head between his knees.

"Your fault, you threw the first lot of flour at me!" Niall replied, walking over to Zayn and tipping the remaining contents of the bag of flour over his head, causing him to scream and rugby tackle Niall to the ground.

Liam and Louis both fell to the ground, clutching their stomachs with laughter as the other two boys rolled around in the flour, laughing more than they were fighting, and eventually they both also collapsed to the floor. The 4 boys stayed there for a while until they all managed to calm down, each one occasionally grabbing a handful of flour and throwing it aimlessly in the air. 

Niall broke the silence, turning onto his stomach to face Louis.

"So, did you text him then?" He asked, and the other 2 boys sat up, suddenly curious, whilst Louis turned his head to look at Niall.

"Text whom, may I ask?" Inquired Liam, nudging Louis's leg with his elbow, his face supporting a sly grin.

"Yeah, Lou, who you been texting?" Zayn smirked, shifting closer to Louis and resting his head on his lap, looking straight up at him.

Louis sighed defeated, knowing that he couldn't keep it a secret from the other two, even though he wanted a little privacy about the matter.

"It's... It's Harry. I... Yeah Ni, I text him earlier." Louis said, running his fingers through his hair distractedly.

"And.....?" All 3 boys chorused together curiously.

Louis shot Niall a quick glance, saying that he would tell him the truth in private, and Niall nodded, guessing that it might be bad. Louis smiled a thanks back, before replying.

"He's read it. Not replied yet, but he's read it. And, before I text him, he had attempted to write something to me, but I think he either deleted it or didn't type anything, as he sent me a blank message."

The boys shot him sympathetic glances, knowing that Harry not replying would upset him, however the fact that he had read it and had previously thought about talking to Louis gave them hope. 

"Well, at least he's not ignoring your texts Lou. I'm sure he will reply when he has thought of a good reply" Liam commented, getting to his knees and crawling over to Louis, enveloping him in a hug.

Niall and Zayn copied Liam, and they ended up in a big heap on the flour covered floor, Louis trapped underneath the weight of the others.

"Anyway, we still need to eat, being as Niall wouldn't make us two pancakes. Lou, make us breakfast? Pwease?" Said Zayn, giving Louis his best puppy dog eyes.

"Fine... But we really need to clean up first" said Louis, and the boys agreed, as they all slowly got to their feet, attempting to brush themselves down.

They spent half an hour working together to clean up all the white powder. Liam was wiping all the cupboards, Louis cleaning the sides, Niall sweeping up and Zayn just helping generally. Once it was done, it was about 12pm, and even Louis and Niall were hungry again now.

"What does everyone want for dinner guys?" Asked Louis as they all shook their clothes outside to get the worst of the flour off.

"I think we should go out for lunch. We haven't left the house in days" Said Zayn, as he frantically rubbed his hair.

"I agree, but we all need a shower first I think" Liam replied, leaning back against the balcony as the wind blew his hair against his face.

"Nandos?" Niall asked hopefully, causing the other boys to laugh at him.

"Sure, why not? Leaving for about 1?" Louis said, slinging his clothes over his arm.

The 4 boys all nodded and went inside to get showered and changed. It would be weird, going out for a mean without Harry, even if he had been in a grumpy, insular mood the last few times they went out. They also knew that the fans would ask questions if they saw them, but, they knew that they couldn't let it control their lives. Plus, they had an interview in 3 days when they would see him, so it wasn't like they had to wait long. They just hoped things would get better.

Niall was dressed quickly, and decided to go to see Louis about things. He cautiously knocked on Louis' door, before twisting the handle and walking in. Louis was lay flat on the bed, phone in hand, fully washed and dressed also. As Niall approached him, he noticed the tear tracks down his face, and quickly slid onto the bed next to him, wrapping his arms around his waist. Louis gasped in shock, not having realized Niall walking in, and dropped the phone to the bed, before burying his head in Niall's chest and sobbing silently. Niall held him tighter, rubbing circles on his back, trying to comfort the Doncaster boy.

"My...my phone. Look at Harry's messages." Louis said between sobs, as Niall reached down to grab his phone, flicking it on to read the messages.

After Louis' text earlier to Harry, he had replied whilst they were in the kitchen, and when Louis had seen it and replied before showering, Harry had replied again, and judging by the timing on the message, Louis had only just received it as Niall walked into the room.

Text from: Hazza

Message: If you could fix me, I'd let you. But it's gone too far to fix. If you understood, you would agree. I'm sorry Lou, but this is the truth. 

Text to: Hazza

Message: Well, you could at least let me try to help you Haz. I understand, well at least I used to understand you better than anyone else. You know you can tell me anything, right? I want to help you Harry, please, let me at least try? xxx

Text from: Hazza

Message: Lou, you can't fix me because, well, you are my problem. You are the reason I have been acting so weird this last few months. You are the reason that I had to leave. You. And I hope the diary explains it to you better than I can in person. I have to let go Lou, and so do you. Please. I'd say do it for me, but right now, I doubt you'll want to do anything for my benefit. I wish we didn't have to end this way. I'm sorry. 

Niall stared blankly at the message, a flurry of different emotions running through him at once. He was angry at Harry, but he was more sorry for Louis, and as much as he wanted to text him back with a rant about things, he knew that it would help Louis at all. He threw the phone to the edge of the bed and protectively pulled Louis closer to his chest. The pair sat there for a long few minutes, before they heard Zayn and Liam running downstairs.

"Hey, you still up for going Lou?" NIall asked, running his hand through Louis' soft brown locks.

"Yeah, staying here will probably just make me feel worse" Louis replied, pulling himself from Niall's grip and rubbing his eyes, before getting up and walking to the bathroom to splash water on his face.

"Come on then, they'll be complaining in a minute. And look, don't worry. It isn't your fault at all, he is just saying that because he needs someone to blame. And, as he said, the journal will explain all" Niall said, leaning on the bathroom door as Louis composed himself.

"I hope so Ni, I do hope so. Don't tell the others? Please?" asked Louis as he walked towards Niall.

"Of course I won't. Now come on, smile and think of happy things! Like me and Nandos! Let's go!" Niall shouted, grabbing Louis' arm and pulling him out the door and down the stairs to the awaiting others.

The 4 boys grabbed their coats and shoes and walked out the door, deciding to walk the 10 minutes to Nando's instead of calling their driver. Sometimes, they just likes to live like normal people, and although they would be in plain sight, it usually worked that less people bothered them, because nobody expected them to walk.

The 4 boys walked in silence, enjoying the peace and the cool air hitting their faces. They could see the Nando's sign, but the place look virtually empty, a fact they were all glad about, and they just hoped it might last. When they got in, Niall went to the counter to order whilst the others got a table.

"Can I please have one of everything, madam?" said Niall, flashing his Nando's black card at the waitress as she stood frozen to the spot.

"Y... Yes sir. Coming.... coming right up." The waitress stuttered, and Niall laughed, realizing she must be a fan.

"Fan of us, I guess?" He asked, reaching his hand over the counter to shake her hand, sending her into a frenzy.

"Oh my god, yes! Like, totally! I've been to like 10 of your concerts!" She screamed, and the manager, who Niall knew from the many times he had been here, came up behind her and laughed.

"Like your birthday surprise?" The manager asked, opening the counter door so that Niall could come round and give her a hug.

"Wait, but you didn't even know we were coming?" Said Niall, letting go of the girl so she could get her phone to take a picture.

"Harry called us about 10 minutes ago to order, and he said yes when I asked if he would come to make her day. He didn't tell you?" The manager said, confused.

"Oh, right. Yeah, we were out so we were just calling in on our way back, Harry didn't come with us so we didn't know he had called. What did he order?"

"Oh, just a small box of chicken and chips. It did confuse me, as I thought he would be ordering for all of you. Did you order something else?"

"Yeah, can I have my usual please?" Niall finished with, and the manager nodded, walking back to the kitchen to sort out the meal.

The girl came back, and Niall took her to their table, where she got signatures and photos with all the boys. She ran back into the kitchen with a huge smile on her face, and the boys laughed, thinking about how outrageous it was that they were so popular.

The manager brought their food to them, and they all began to tuck in, ravishing the food, when suddenly a car pulled up outside, and they stopped, thinking that it might be a fan. The driver got out the car, and Niall gulped loudly, realizing who it was, as the driver walked through the door. 

"Lilly, you have another customer!" shouted the manager, waving to Harry who waved back enthusiastically, not noticing the other boys sat in the restaurant, even though they all noticed him.

Lilly appeared at the counter, and nearly screamed when she saw him, and she ran back again to grab her phone, before posing with Harry for a photo.

"Now, I have a picture with the whole of One Direction! Best day ever!" Lilly shouted, and Harry laughed, shaking his head.

"Love, as much as that made me happy, there's 4 others in our band. I'm not one on my own, even if I am the most gorgeous" Harry stated, causing the boys to nearly give themselves away with laughter, and Lilly did allow herself to laugh.

"No, as much as you are my favourite, I met the other boys earlier! See, they are over there waiting for you to join them" Lilly said, pointing over to the table where the others boys were now facing the window, worried that she would begin suspecting.

Harry gulped when he saw them, and immediately felt like running out, but, knowing that they couldn't give anything away to the fans, he gave her another quick hug before slowly making his way over to the table, taking the seat next to Louis, as it was the only one left. Lilly came over to pose for a picture with all 5 of them together, and before running off again, she whispered in Harry's ear.

"I'm a Larry shipper. I can see the way you look at him even if he doesn't. You two belong together."

Harry nodded to her, and gave her another quick hug before she ran back to the counter, and the awkward silence took over the 5 boys. They hadn't actually eaten together for months, and nobody knew what to say to Harry, and Niall, well he was just trying not to say something he would regret, as he caught Louis' scared expression from next to Harry. Harry's food was brought to him, and they all ate in silence, Louis trying his best not to even touch Harry and Niall gently running his foot up Louis' leg to calm him down.

Liam finished first, and decided to make conversation, seeing as they were attempting to put on a front for the public.

"So, Harry, how you feeling?" 

Harry glanced up at him, and they had a silent conversation, Harry guessing they had said he was ill or something and didn't know he would join them.

"I'm a... little bit better. I needed the break. I need the break. But I'll be fine for the interview, don't worry" Harry replied, looking anywhere but at Liam when he said it, knowing he would be able to see right through it as he always did.

Louis gulped loudly beside him, trying desperately to stop the tears as he thought about Harry needing a break, and his apparent reason why. Harry was so close to him, but they were so far apart, and he didn't know if he would be able to hold it all in much longer.

"Anyway, I'm gonna head home, I'm knackered, don't know about you guys." Niall announced loudly, and Louis looked up wide eyed, as if he was his saviour.

"Yeah, me too Ni, let's go." said Liam, and the 4 boys, not Harry, got up from their chairs, slipping their coats on and taking all their rubbish to the bin.

"I'll drive you home guys, I brought the car" Harry said, and the 4 boys froze, before remembering that nothing was meant to be up, and silently nodding, as Harry stood up and followed them out to the car, leaving a large tip on the way out as they always did, being as they didn't have to pay.

Harry unlocked the car, and the boys clambered in, all sitting in their usual place, meaning Louis would be in the passenger's seat. Harry got into the drivers side and quickly started the engine, quickly pulling out and driving back to their house, the silent ride taking 10 minutes as he couldn't use the shortcuts you could walking, with all the one way streets and busy afternoon traffic. It was already starting to get dark due to the fact they had spend nearly 2 hours in Nando's, so there wasn't any point in them going out again. 

As Harry pulled up in front of the house, the 3 boys in the back all quickly slid out, each giving Harry a quick shoulder squeeze in support, even Niall, who was trying to act like he didn't know anything. Louis, however, had somehow managed to fall fast asleep in the front seat, and the other boys hadn't waited for him, thinking he and Harry might have wanted some time to talk.

Harry turned his head to look at him, and nearly cried as he re-studied the lines on his face that he had prevented himself from looking at for the last few months. The perfect curve of his lips, the wrinkles around his eyes, his flawless cheekbones. He reached over tentatively, gently running his fingers down his cheekbones as he used to do. Louis stirred in his sleep, and before Harry had a chance to pull away, he pushed his face further into his hand, and a small smile played on his lips. Harry lent forward, and cautiously placed a lingering kiss on his forehead, thinking that Louis was in a deep sleep and wouldn't feel or remember it. He kissed the fingers of his free hand, and placed them to Louis' lips, not trusting himself to properly kiss him, before letting go and getting out the car.

Harry walked around to Louis' door and undid his seat belt, before carefully lifting him bridal style out of the car, shutting the door and locking it before walking towards the house. When he got in, the boy were all sat on the sofa, and looked up at him carrying the sleeping boy in his arms. He ignored them, proceeding to ascend the stairs and take Louis' to the bedroom, carefully sliding him under the covers before taking off Louis' shoes, socks and coat. He himself wasn't that tired, being as it was only 4pm, but, never the less, he crawled, fully clothed, into the bed besides Louis, and spooned him from behind, taking in his rich scent, and enjoying the closeness.

Louis, on the other hand, was actually only pretending to be asleep, and despite the comments from Harry earlier, he was over the moon as he felt Harry pressed up against his back, just like old times. Harry began running his fingers through Louis' hair, and Lou couldn't help but smile widely and relax into it, greedy for the contact after months without. He could also feel something hard pressing against his inner thigh, but decided not to comment, as he didn't want Harry to feel awkward.

After about 15 minutes, Harry began to grow tired as well, and he draped his arm over Louis' torso, before falling asleep with his lips pressed to Louis' neck and their legs tangled together. Louis smiled in pure glee as he felt Harry's breathing deepen as he fell deeper into his sleep, and Louis allowed himself to relax further into Harry, this time actually closing his eyes and going to sleep in Harry's arms.

Niall crept into the room, after being curious that Harry hadn't returned downstairs, and nearly jumped for joy when he saw the two of them cuddled up. He quickly shot a photo, well many photos actually for proof, and then crept back out of the room. Harry did still care, he realized, and he ran back down to show the boys, who all agreed, but knew that Harry would probably leave again in the morning.

It was a start though, and it was also a big piece of the puzzle discovered, even though the boys didn't realize it yet.


	9. Similar Situations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Harry wakes up after his night with Louis, and Liam reveals a secret...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hers's some more Harry for you, and a bit of Lirry! No lirry romance though! Enjoy and comment please!! K xxx

The next morning, Harry woke up about 1am, and went to stretch out, when he realised where he was. During the night, he and Louis had shifted into their old, usual position. Harry was lay flat on his back, with Louis tucked securely into his side, Louis' head resting in the crook if his neck, their legs entwined together under the duvet, and they each had their arms encircled tightly around the other person. 

Harry smiled as he looking down at the sleeping boy curled up next to him, looking extremely peaceful lay there, and, if he allowed himself to think it, quite handsome as well. He ran his fingers gently through the elder boy's hair, pushing it off his face before placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. 

Suddenly, the current situation came flooding back to him, and he panicked, worried that if Louis awoke in his arms, he would guess everything and beg him to stay. And as much as he really wanted to stay wrapped up with him, he knew that they still needed some time, he still needed a bit of space to figure things out. 

Gently, he slid his arms out from around Louis, and slowly untangled his legs from between his. Louis stirred in his sleep from the loss of contact, but then fell still again, and Harry let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, before fully sliding from the bed. He glanced down at the peaceful, sleeping boy, and couldn't stop the wide smile that took over his lips, because he really did think Louis looked, and sounded beautiful in a morning. He realised how much he missed the sound of his gruff, sleepy morning voice, and a pang of guilt hit him as he remembered that it was his fault that he didn't hear it, and hadn't heard it in a while. 

Silent tears began slipping down his face, and he leant over the bed to press a gentle kiss on his lips, inhaling his scent and savouring his touch one last time before pulling away and leaving, but not before snapping a picture of him lay there for later reference.

He left the room soundlessly, and crept slowly down the stairs, deciding to grab a drink before he left, as after all, this was still partly his house. He turned into the kitchen, and nearly jumped when he noticed the light was already on and a figure was sat at the table. He rubbed his eyes so that he could see probably as the bright light entered his eyes, before realising that the figure was actually Liam, who was sat clutching a cup of coffee, which looked like it had been there for a while, and dried tear tracks down his face. 

Liam still hadn't noticed his presence, and out of instinct, Harry walked towards him and sat on the seat beside him, reaching out to wrap his arms around his band mate, which surprised Liam so much he nearly knocked his coffee over. Wordlessly, Harry stood up and grabbed his hands, pulling him off his seat and into the living room, sitting on the sofa and pulling Liam into his lap. Liam collapsed into the embrace, and the tears that he stopped began rolling again, as he wept into Harry's shirt. Harry rocked him gently, rubbing soothing circles on his back and stroking his hair slowly in an attempt to calm him down. 

After a few minutes, Liam began to calm down, and he lifted his head slightly to look at his friend, forcing a small smile onto his face. Liam knew that Harry was going to ask, so he began to tell him anyway.

"It's strange, you know. I never thought that I would fall in love, especially not with them. It just sort of... Happened I guess."

"We can't choose who we fall in love with Li, even thought it might be the most inconvenient and strange choice. But sometimes the heart knows what's best for you." Harry replied, smiling back down at Liam, a thoughtful look on his face.

"And I especially didn't expect it to be him. Out of everyone I could have fallen for, I fell for him." Liam said, sighed as he twisted his hands around.

"Him?" Harry asked curiously.

"Yes, him. Zayn. Zayn bloody Malik." Liam whispered, the tears threatening to spill again as he felt the relief of telling someone wash over him, but it was soon taken over with worry when Harry started laughing.

"What? What's funny? I knew I shouldn't have told you, I knew you'd laugh at me!" Liam cried and tried to break free of Harry's grasp, but Harry just held him tighter.

"I knew it!" Laughed Harry.

"Louis owes me a tenner" Harry smiled as he looked down at his now calm, but confused band mate.

"Wait, you made a bet on us? How did you know?" Liam asked curiously, moving to sit up against the arm of the chair still wrapped in Harry's arms.

"Well, kinda. We were making bets on who would be the most likely romance after Larry Stylinson. I said Ziam and he said Nosh. So I won!" Cheered Harry, and Liam laughed, realising that Harry would be accepting of him.

"Don't tell him, please Hazza?" Liam asked, and Harry nodded, squeezing Liam tighter to his chest in reassurance.

"Anyway, whilst we are talking, what's the deal with you then?" Liam questioned cautiously, worried that Harry would react badly.

Harry stiffened up slightly, but didn't move, trying to decide on the right words to say.

"I... It's hard to explain Li. I can't, like, I can't actually say it out loud. That's why I wrote the journal."

"The one Louis is reading now?" Liam asked, and Harry nodded. 

"It was the only way I could express myself, and I actually finished it the day you guys went to get me... Kicked out. I was planning to slip it in Louis' bag before you guys got back, but then Louis told me about everything, and I decided to leave it where he would definitely find it." 

Liam gulped guiltily, ashamed suddenly that they had took such harsh action against him, when he was so close to showing a solution.

"Harry, I'm really really sorry we did that. We just didn't know what to do and..."

Harry interrupted him, putting his finger to his lips, and smiling softly at him. 

"Li, you did the right thing, I'm not angry at all. Truthfully, I needed a break, not from the band, but just some time to be alone and get my head sorted. When you know why I was like I was, you will understand. I know it killed Lou, and I know I upset him again earlier before we all met up, but I will sort it all out. You guys can read my diary, just please, can you let Lou finish it first?"

Liam sighed, happy that they had helped Harry out.

"Of course, we kinda already decided that anyway. Just remembered that we will never judge you, and you are welcome here whenever. It's still your house" He reassured Harry.

"I know Li , I know. And I will be back soon, I promise. But for now, I just need a bit of space."

The pair sat in a comfortable silence for many minutes, and then Liam decided to play a game with him. Liam started tickling Harry in the ribs, and Harry squirmed, making Liam fall off his knee, Harry jumped off the sofa and sat on top of Liam, tickling him back, and the pair rolled around the floor in a playful fight, until they both collapsed on the floor in exhaustion.

Liam, having not slept at all yet, quickly fell asleep on top of Harry. Harry glanced at the time, 4am, and decided that he ought to take Liam to bed and leave before the other guys got up, especially Louis. Gently, he lifted Liam up bridal style and carefully carried him to his room, tucking him under the covers and closing the curtains before quietly leaving the room.

He quickly peeped into the other boys' rooms, and even gave Louis another kiss on the head (and took another photo) , before going back downstairs and leaving the house, taking a bottle of water with him to drink on the way home.

He was feeling better now, and he was glad he was able to be a sounding board for Liam, but he still needed some time away. He just hoped that Liam could handle his emotions better than he did...


	10. Judge's Houses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Louis wakes up to find Harry gone, and ends up reading on. What secrets will he uncover this time? Will it lead him any closer to the truth? And the boys find out that nothing is private for long in the world of celebrities, as the fans begin to suspect...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's an extra long chapter to say sorry for the wait! I've split up Harry's judge's house diary entry, you will see why soon! Please read, enjoy and comment! K xxx

Louis woke up around 7am, after sleeping for what felt like a day, well truthfully, it nearly had been, considering he had been since 4pm the previous day. He rolled over, trying to remember why on earth he had ended up going to sleep so early, and the previous day's events came flooding back to him. The text, Nando's, Harry's appearance, the ride home, and Harry carrying him to bed and falling to sleep beside him. Louis had purposely pretended to fall asleep in the car, knowing that it would make Harry carry him in, and he had been over the moon when he had felt Harry snuggling up behind him like the old days. Feeling around, Louis realized Harry hadn't stopped, to his disappointment, but a quick glance to the side showed that he hadn't taken the journal with him, meaning he still wanted Louis to read it. He reached up to turn the bedside lamp on, and grabbed the journal, flicking to the place he had got to, Judge's Houses. He sat up fully and began to read.

Dear Diary,

I can't believe it! I have sooooooo much to tell you. Probably because I was an idiot and forgot that I had packed you in my secret part of my suitcase when I left for Simon's villa, but nevertheless, I've found you now, (for future reference, on Saturday, and it's 5pm now, and I am writing this before I join the others who are currently all playing on the Wii downstairs before we all go for tea) and I can tell you all about what has happened so far!!

Well, after a hectic week, which went really quick due to the excitement, Friday finally arrived. It took me so long to pack, because I wanted to pick my most stylish clothes, being as we would be on TV no matter what happened. My mum picked me up after work on Friday night and we drove to Heathrow airport, where me and the other boys met up for some dinner before we caught the private jet to Simon's Marbella mansion. It was so exciting! 

The plane journey was 4 hours long, but we couldn't sleep because we were all so high on energy, so we spent the time catching up with eachother about our weeks!

Zayn had had a really busy week, because, before now, he had never ever left the country, so he didn't have a passport. Usually they take like 4 weeks to come through, so it was a push that he managed to get one sorted by the end of this week! Also, he had been trying to get into a performing arts college before applying to X-Factor, so he had his auditions and interview to get in.

Liam spent most of his week doing work for college, as he does music technology at the City of Wolverhampton college, and he couldn't miss anything this week as they had an important test coming up. He says that he really enjoys it there, but he would rather be an actor, because he thinks it is better paid and a lot more fun that what he is doing. (If he doesn't make it as a singer of course)

Niall had pretty much the same kind of week as Liam, as he spent it at school (Mary's College), and the days there were even longer than Liam's at college! Niall also does a bit of acting, but mainly for fund-raising events.

And finally, there's Louis. He probably had the busiest week of us all to be honest! He's also been attending school (well his is called an Academy), and they have had school productions going on, so he has been rehearsing and performing on top of normal school work! Plus, he has been training with his football club which he both runs and plays for, and they played a match on Tuesday which they won 4-1, and Louis scored two of the goals! Also, he is learning to drive and he is also working part time as a hospitality waiter at Doncaster Rovers Football Club! (However, he says he only ever turns up because it means he gets to go on the pitch and hang around with the players!!).

So, honestly, this week at Simon's will really be a week of relaxation for us to be truthful. When we landed, we had an hour long car journey to the house, and oh my lord, it is massive! Seriously, seeing these things on TV and then seeing them up close is amazing, it's the stuff of dreams! As there are 8 groups, we have 2 rooms for each band, but one of the rooms we got had 3 single beds, and 1 had a double bed. And surprisingly, Louis immediately put his hand up and said that he would share the room with me! He didn't even ask me before hand, he just decided for me! The other boys agreed without question, and we all went to our rooms to unpack.

We found out that, as we were here 7 days, starting from tomorrow, one group would perform per day, and then Simon would choose the winners next Friday. We have ours on Monday, giving us two days to relax and rehearse, which is some time that we really needed! Me and Louis both unpacked really quickly, and after going out onto the balcony, we saw that some of the other bands had already decided to make use of the pool before it got too dark. We both agreed to go and join them, and ran to the other boys' room to ask them as well, to which they all said yes, and we all got changed and went down together. 

We got in and everybody introduced themselves

Twem - 2 guys - aged 25

The Reason - 4 guys - all late 20's

Princes and Rouges - 5 guys - all in their 20's

Hustle - 5 girls - the youngest was 18 and the oldest 29

FYD - 5 guys - all in their 20's again

Diva Fever - 2 guys - both 21

Belle Ami - 4 girls - also put together at boot camp like us

And then there's us - all under 20, the 'babies of the house'

I find it quite funny that the boys totally outnumber the girls here, and most of the rest of the time in the pool was spent chasing the girls around in the water, annoying them, just because we could really! After about 2 hours, we were all called out by some guys from the house, and we all had a cup of tea before going up to bed. 

Today, (Saturday) for us has been spent rehearsing and enjoying the sun! Me and Louis woke up really early, and ended up have a tickle fight to pass the time, before fighting to see who would get to use our shower first (which Louis won, but I vowed my revenge on him). He is just so easy to get on with, and we are already quite close with eachother. We woke the other guys up by jumping on them, and after a rather epic pillow fight (Liam and Zayn definitely aren't morning people), we all went downstairs for breakfast. 

Twem had their performance today, so we firstly went to the music room to practice, and strangely, within half an hour, we had managed to perfect the song! We performed it about 5 times, before decided it was good, and then we all decided that Louis needed getting back for beating me to the shower, and we chucked him in the pool fully dressed! Haha! I did jump in after him, when he stood sulking in the middle of the pool, and we both came up to our room to get sorted whilst the other boys sunbathed. 

As he was undressing, I caught the first glimpse of his body. He's slim, with a bit of a tan line on his waist, and he has the tiniest bit of stomach, which I think is really cute!! His skin is flawless, not a blemish on it, and he has a perfect figure (not like a woman, very manly, but very sexy... Did I just say that?) His bum looked plump but firm, and I really wanted to just run up to him and squeeze it, which sounds weird I know, but then again I'm crushing on a guy, so I guess I'm weird anyway.

Yes, I did just admit to that. I have a crush on Louis Troy Tomlinson. I don't know why, I've always liked girls, but there is just something about him that attracts me to him. But I've never been with a guy, or even thought about a guy this way before, so I'm totally confused over what to say or do. 

Do I tell him?

Do I ring my mum and tell her? 

Do I ask the other guys?

What if he is homophobic and starts to hate me? It could affect the whole band and wreck all our chances, and I can't risk that.

This was about half an hour ago, and after we were both dressed, the guys shouted us both down for a game of Mario Kart on the Wii with the rest of the bands. Louis immediately agreed, but I said I would just give my mum a call before I came down, even though I haven't (but I really should... I might do that now...) 

I just really hope that either my crush works out for me, or that I can get over him. 

Anyway, I must go, as the rest are probably wondering what's taking me so long, and I also do actually need to ring my mum before I go down. 

So, bye for now, and I will write when I next get a minute, which could be tomorrow, could be when I get home. I don't want Louis to find out about it either, otherwise it would be easy to write every night.

Anyway, good bye and good night.

Harry xx

Louis finished the entry with a flashback, as he closed his eyes and memorized the evening that it happened on. He had actually been wondering where Harry had got to when he said he was "ringing his mum", because, in fact, his phone had been left on the side downstairs, and Louis had put it in his pocket to stop the others going on it (and maybe to be a bit nosy... but this wasn't about him).

He had actually seen the diary hidden in Harry's bag when he had quickly hid it once as Louis had attempted to scare him one night, something he guessed Harry might have written about in later entries, but he had never questioned him on it. It looked too old fashioned to be his own personal diary, and thought that it may have been his parents' or grandad's, and that he had brought it with him to read when he got home sick. 

Now, Louis realized just how different things could've been if he would've asked, and was immediately glad that he didn't. If Louis would've "found out" about it, Harry may never have written in it again. It could've changed their whole friendship, and he may never have been able to figure out his problem now, if it still would've happened.

But the thing that got Louis the most was Harry's admission to having a crush on him. They had only known eachother, what, a month at most by this point, and already, that early on, Harry had begun having feelings for him in a... sexual/romantic/flirty way. Yes, Louis had also had a thing for him at this point, looking back, but he just saw him as being a rather attractive male, and to be honest, that was still very true to this day, in fact, he was even more attractive now a days. Louis had even started working out to attempt to get a body like him (because, true to what Harry had said in the entry, yes, Louis did used to have a little bit of "puppy fat" as his mother called it).

Also, Harry hadn't mentioned it to him because he considered the fact that he may be homophobic, and that it night wreck their friendship. It showed Louis that back then, even after such a short period of time, Harry cared more about what Louis thought of him, and their friendship than anything else, including his self, a fact which still remained true to the day.

Louis, however, admitted he could never be homophobic. In fact, he actually thought gay couples were the cutest kind of couples. Why? Because they go against the norm. They put their love before what other people, laws and religion think of them. They are true to themselves. He admired them for their courage and bravery.

Bravery.

A word which had been used to describe Larry Stylinson an awful lot lately. Ever since Louis had started "seeing" Elenor, the fans had been rallying around the bromance, saying that Elenor was a management cover up because they didn't want any of their band members being gay. It was, in a way, because Harry had known Elenor from school, invited her to one of their concerts as a favour, and they decided that her and Louis would make a good couple, so set them up on a date. Yes, Harry had seemed a little jelous at first, but when Louis asked him about it, he said he was happy for them.

What Harry didn't know, however, is that Louis and Elenor had recently split up. The distance was too much for them, and Louis didn't really want to be tied down in a relationship which would require travelling more than he is doing now. Plus, Elenor was at uni, and she said she needed to concentrate on her studies more than a relationship. They had split about 3 weeks ago, and all the other boys knew, due to the fact that they had done it in person whilst she was visiting, but Harry had been in hiding, and Louis didn't fancy starting up a conversation like that with him, when they hadn't spoke privately about anything within the last 3 months. Also, they hadn't announced it to the world, as they were never really official, meaning it would cause more problems than they needed.

He glanced at the clock, 8:15 am. As he had been asleep since 4pm the previous day, there was no way he could go back to sleep now, so he got up to have a shower, before going downstairs for some breakfast. They only had that day and the next day off, before beginning a full 2 weeks of constants interviews, meet and greets, signings, concerts and whatever else they had been given to do, so Louis knew that the other boys would be in no rush to get up either.

He grabbed a bowl of coco pops before entering the living room and switching on the TV, switching to music channels. As he landed on MTV, it was their news programme before the UK Top 40, which he always kept up to date with, and he relaxed back to see what stupid things celebrities had got up to lately. However, he near enough dropped his cereal when he heard the top news headline...

"And today, Larry Stylinson shippers are going crazy, after pictures of Harry carrying Louis into their house were leaked onto the internet, and then the singing superstar was spotted leaving the band's house at around 2:30 am this morning. The 1D super bromance, which is the pairing of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, has always been a big talking point for the fans. But, the fans are worried that things may possible be bad between the two of them, after Harry's early departure this morning. Also, the band were spotted hours before the first pictures walking to Nando's without Mr. Styles. He later pulled up with them, but it raises speculation as to why they aren't all together. Is this the beginning of a storm for the band? We will update you with the latest asap, and don't forget, their tour bus tour interview will be streaming live on here, at 3pm in 2 days time."

By the time the news cast had finished, the other 3 boys, who had heard the TV due to Louis subconsciously turning it up, were now stood behind the sofa, looking as shocked as Louis. The fans couldn't know they were having problems, it would wreck the image.

Will they be able to get Harry back on board in time?


	11. Cracks in the System

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Zayn confronts Harry over the phone after Louis' breakdown, and Liam and Zayn fight...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So I'm going to apologise now, this chapter is quite angst filled if I say so myself, however it needed to happen, so don't kill me! Thankyou for all the lovely comments and kudos, they really make my day. Also, a question to you all, I have asked some people, but what do you think will happen? A lot of my friends who are writers ask me to do this for their stories, so I wondered what people would think for mine! Anyway, here is the next chapter, please, read, enjoy and comment! Love you all and thankyou!! K xxx

As the news report faded into another story, the 4 boys were in shock, especially Louis, who within minutes was crying into his hands.

"It's all my fault, it's should be me leaving not him!" Louis sobbed, and Niall immediately jumped onto the sofa next to him, pulling him into a tight embrace.

Liam joined them, sitting on the other side of the crying boy and rubbing soothing circles on his back, just as Harry had done for him earlier that morning. 

"Don't blame yourself Lou, why would it be your fault?" Liam comforted Louis, and Louis squeezed Niall tighter, signalling him to tell Liam about the text.

Zayn, however, didn't stop to hear the explanation. Instead, he bolted up the stairs and into his room, he searched frantically for his phone, and when he found it, he immediately dialled Harry's number, begging silently that he would pick up. The ringing sound rang through the phone, and within a few seconds, a quiet muffling sound was heard.

"Hello?" Said Harry's small voice on the other end of the line.

"Haz, it's Zayn, you alright?"

"Erm no, not really. But that isn't something you need to worry about. Are you ok?"

"Harry, of course I'm going to worry about you, you are one of my best mates, despite whatever had happened between you and Lou"

"Wait, you know about what happened?" Harry's voice suddenly sounded very worried.

"No, not yet. Louis hasn't really spoke to me. But have you seen the news lately?"

"Yes, about the fans worrying because of me and my strange actions. I'm sorry, it's all my fault. I'm making it even harder for you guys when I thought I was making it better by not being there."

"Why would that be better for us?"

"Because I was upsetting you all. Louis couldn't sleep because of me, the tension was unbearable when I was around. I mean, think about it, this is the first time I've really spoke to you since... Well since I started being all closed off, months ago"

"Hazza, mate, it's hurting us more that you aren't here with us than it ever was when you were here. Louis hasn't gone an hour without shedding a tear, Liam is more protective than usual, trying to cheer everyone else up instead of letting us help him, Niall seems to know more than we do about everything, and then there's me. Harry, I miss you. Louis probably misses you more, but I do miss you a lot too. And I'm sorry, because it's our fault you aren't here, even though Louis is adamant that it is solely his fault."

"That is probably because of me that he thinks that"

"Why?"

"I might have got upset and told him that?"

"What?! Why would you do that?" Zayn was now shouting down the phone at Harry, and Harry started crying.

"Because it's kinda.... True, in a way." He said between sobs, and Zayn's voice softened as he realised how upset he had made him.

"How is it?"

"I... It's in the journal. I can't really bring myself to say it to you."

"You know I would never judge you Harry, you can tell me anything"

Harry laughed at that, and Zayn smiled at the sound of it, even though he had no idea why it was funny.

"I mean that Hazza, I'm not joking!" Zayn laughed back.

"It's just funny because that's exactly what I said to Liam not too long ago now"

"Why? What's up with Liam?"

Harry suddenly realised what he had said, and determined to keep Liam's secret hidden, he made something up.

"Oh, erm, it was a while ago, before he broke up with Dani. He said that he didn't feel the same way about her any more, and that he didn't want to break up with her because he was scared of upsetting her."

"But he only broke up with her last week, when was this?"

"Oh, like 2 weeks ago"

"Wait, you spoke to Liam but not to any of us?! Why didn't he tell us? Why didn't you speak to any of us?"

Harry panicked and ended the call, not knowing what to say.

Zayn threw his phone onto the bed, before grabbing it again, along with his coat and shoes, and ran downstairs. 

"I'm going out, I need some air" He said before storming out the door, slamming it behind him. 

Liam, Niall and Louis ran to the window and watched as he walked across the road towards the old park where they usually went when they needed some privacy. 

"What the hell was that all about?" Questioned Niall, who walked across the room into the kitchen to grab a drink and check his phone.

"I don't know, he was acting strange earlier when we saw the news program. He just ran upstairs" Louis said, sighing before collapsing back on the sofa.

Liam suddenly clicked on, something which he was able to do quicker usually, working out what had gone off with the boys without them telling him.

"I think I know what's up. He's been on the phone to Harry. I'm going after him" said Liam, and he too grabbed his coat and shoes, before racing out the door to catch up with Zayn.

When he reached the park, he found Zayn sitting on the swing, slowly rocking through the air swinging his legs gracefully. The park was small and secluded, hidden from the view of the public by high bushes, but all the equipment was still in good condition, which made it the perfect place for the boys to come when they needed space to calm down. 

He walked up to him and sat on the swing beside him, and began swinging in time with him. They swung together in silence for a few minutes before Zayn broke the silence.

"You know, I thought we were meant to be a band of brothers. You know, like, we tell each other everything. But I guess I'm the only one who thinks that."

"Why? I can understand this is about Harry, due to the fact that I heard you on the phone to him earlier, but why did you walk out on the rest of us? We haven't kept anything from you!" 

"Really? So when you and Harry talk behind our backs then you aren't keeping anything secret? Answer me that"

Liam laughed at that, wondering why Zayn had gotten so worked up about it. 

"He was there and willingly to listen. I wasn't going to say no was I?"

"So you didn't bother to tell us he had actually been talking to you?"

Liam's face suddenly hardened, defensive of both him and Harry.

"It didn't concern you"

"But what about Louis? He talks to you and not Louis? That's strange. Because as I recall, Louis is the closest one to him"

Liam sighed. knowing that Zayn was right. He knew he could never win a fight with him, so decided to try and back out easily.

"Look, he didn't really talk, he just listened. Were you going to admit to Louis that he was talking to you on the phone?"

"You could've come to me if you wanted someone to listen to you! And yes, I just thought you would've all guessed that's what I was doing. I was defending Louis when he thought it was all his fault, and Harry confirmed it. I got angry and said something. I wasn't keeping secrets, like you."

"What something did you say exactly? Please don't say you said anything drastic? And please, stop accusing me of keeping secrets, it's not like you are blameless yourself for that."

"Just that I wouldn't judge and that he could tell me anything, And my secrets didn't affect the band."

"Sounds like what he said to me"

"See, that's what got me going. He spoke to you and not any of us and you didn't tell us! Did he tell you anything?!"

"No, just that the journal would explain all"

Zayn's voice softened like it had with Harry earlier, knowing that Liam would have told him the truth.

"Well OK then, but anyway what about you? What is it that you needed to talk about?"

"I... I don't really want to talk about it. It's nothing really."

"Well obviously it's something because you told Harry."

"Ze, please, just drop it. Please"

"So now you are keeping secrets too. Great. The fans were right, we really are cracking."

"No Zayn, it's just..."

"Save it Liam, I get it. Just remember how much this is hurting the rest of us, how much this is hurting Louis. Whilst you're going off whispering tactics with Harry, we are all still suffering."

Zayn jumped off the swing and began walking towards the park gate.

"Zayn, it isn't like that, you have to believe me" Liam shouted to him, also jumping from his swing in an attempt to catch up.

Zayn stopped walking but refused to turn round, looking up at the sky as he spoke.

"I wish I could still say I did. Now I'm going to go back to the house, where the last 2 honest members of our band are. Feel free to join us when you are ready to be honest, unless you would rather go with Harry. Bye Liam."

Zayn took a deep breath, not trusting himself to turn and look at him as he knew he would just run straight back into his arms, and continued walking out of the park. Liam stood still, watching as his band mate walked away from him, not knowing what to say or do. He couldn't tell Zayn, he was too scared of rejection, and plus he didn't want to ruin the friendship, or cause any friction in the band. He was stuck either way, because Zayn would continue to be off with him until he told him, and he thought about getting Harry to talk to him about it.

But then it occured to him, something that Harry had said. 

"We can't choose who we fall in love with, even though it might be the most inconvenient and strange choice. But sometimes the heart knows what's best for you"

Harry was right, yes. Because he couldn't stop himself falling for Zayn if he tried. But the way Harry had said it made him think.

Is Harry going through the same thing as me?

Is Harry's problem the fact that he is in love with someone he shouldn't be?

Has Harry fallen in love with Louis?

Liam's jaw fell open in shock as the realization hit him. The way he had acted around Louis, so protective and loving, and Louis never saw because he was too engrossed with Elenor. The fact that he still slept with Louis at night, even though he had his own room. The journal, how he left it for Louis to read. 

At that moment, Liam just wanted to run over to Harry's house and beg him to tell Louis (and also gloat in the fact that he had figured it out, well thought that he had), but then he realized that he didn't know his new address, plus he had left his phone at home. Instead, he began walking back to the house, happy in the knowledge that they were one step closer to getting Harry back.

But should he tell Louis?

Will he tell Zayn?

Or will Niall come to the rescue?


	12. Accidental Coincidences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Liam reveals his secrets, but who to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly 2000 reads!!!!!! Thanks guys! I know this chapter is kinda a bit repeating but it is essential to the story! Enjoy, read and comment! Love you all K xxx

By the time Liam got home, after walking around the estates a bit, it was around 7pm. The door was locked, and he didn't have a key, so he went round to test the back door, which was also locked. It seemed like the boys had all gone out without him, so he took a seat on the swing bench on the back garden.

Whilst he had been out, he had had some time to think about a plan of action, due to the fact that he had only managed to bump into one group of fangirls, and none of them had phones to take pictures, so a hug sufficed, and this is what he had figured out.

\- He couldn't tell Harry that he had figured it out due to the fact that he may then get embarrassed, putting him off telling Louis

\- He couldn't tell Louis because he might take it the wrong way, or think that Harry had told Liam, meaning that an argument could happen

\- He couldn't tell Zayn because he would end up contradicting himself due to the fact that he had told him earlier that Harry "just listened", which means Zayn would accuse him of lying again, and if he told him the truth of how he worked it out, he would pester him about his secret again, which was a subject he was keen to avoid

\- But... He could tell Niall. Niall seemed to be the one who knew the most about the situation, due to Louis telling him about the text earlier before anyone else. Niall had been the one to keep his cool in Nando's earlier, not telling them that he was coming (He had told Zayn and Liam the full story when Harry and Louis were upstairs) in order to keep up their image, and he had been the one who snapped a shot of the pair of them whilst they were sleeping in an attempt to show them that Harry really did care, something which came in handy earlier when Louis broke down. 

Therefore, he had decided that between now and the interview, he would speak to Niall and tell him all about Harry, and probably about his own problem, due to the fact he wanted to be completely honest. Suddenly, he saw a figure moving in the upstairs window, and he waved, the figure then disappearing and re-appearing at the back door a few seconds later.

Liam got up and walked to the door, and the figure opened it. It was none other than Niall himself, and he was immediately wrapped in a tight hug as soon as he stepped inside. When Niall finally let go, he shut the back door, taking off his coat and shoes, before following Niall into the living room and sitting on the sofa with him.

"Where you been to then Li?" Niall asked Liam when he was comfy.

"I was out, needed to clear my head. Did Zayn say anything?"

"Nah, just came back, said he was going out clubbing, and Louis said he wanted to go with him. They've been gone ever since."

"Oh, right. That's... helpful"

"Erm.. What exactly happened between you and him?"

"We had a bit of an argument. Actually, I was wondering if I could talk to you about that"

Niall moved across the sofa to sit against the arm rest, swinging his legs up so that he was fully facing Liam. Liam caught on, doing the same on the other end.

"I'm listening"

"Well, it's a long story."

"I think we've got time, its not even 8 yet, they won't be back til at least 12. Unless we have to go fetch them."

"Ok, well, I think I've worked out what's up with Harry"

Niall suddenly jumped up, launching himself at Liam and lying on top of him, head hovering over Liam's face.

"Really? How? What? Why? Tell me!" Niall demanded, and Liam laughed, before swinging him legs back round and letting Niall get off and sit next to him.

"Sorry, I just really want him back!" Niall said.

"Yeah, me too. But it's not going to be that simple. Promise not to tell the others yet?"

"Fine. But please tell me!"

"Right ok. Well, you know last night? When Harry stopped over and then disappeared before anyone woke up?"

"Yes....."

"He didn't manage to leave unseen after all."

"You... you saw him?"

Niall decided to move to sit on the table in front of Liam, looking at him directly in the eye.

"Yeah. I stayed up for a bit, didn't feel tired. He came down and saw me, nearly jumped out of his skin mind you!"

Liam laughed, remembering Harry's reaction.

"Did he speak to you?"

"No exactly.. It's not just about him though. It was my fault. I was... having a bit of a break-down, and Harry being Harry came to comfort me. Dragged me to the living room and sat rubbing my back until I calmed down like he used to. It was just like old times again"

"Just like with him and Louis sleeping together, same position as usual. Anyway, what was up with you?"

Liam sighed, knowing that he couldn't tell Harry's secret without his own.

"I... I've fallen in love... but I can't have them"

Liam began to cry, and Niall grabbed his hands, rubbing them between his own soothingly.

"Liam, you could have anyone you wanted if you tried. You are one of the nicest guys I know, and seriously, I know that you are just kidding and underestimating yourself by saying that. Now, who's the lucky girl eh?"

"I... It's not a girl Ni. It's a guy" 

Liam pulled his hands away and covered his face in shame at admitting it, but Niall just got up and pulled him into a hug.

"Liam, it's fine. You know me and the boys will support you! There's nothing to be ashamed of!"

Niall had a big smile on his face, trying to show Liam that he was happy he had found himself, always cautious of the possibility after some of Liam's drunken actions, which he definitely didn't repeat to Liam at all.

"So then, who's the lucky guy? Someone we know?"

"That's the problem. You all know him very well. In fact, you all know he just as well as I do"

"Wait.... You fancy one of us? Or one of the musicians?"

"It's Zayn. Zayn Malik. I've fallen truly, madly, and deeply in love with Zayn bloody Malik."

Niall laughed, and Liam pulled away, again showing a face of embarrassment.

"See, I knew you would laugh. You might be supportive of me and my sexuality, but as soon as it involves something about another one of us, you all laugh!"

Liam pushed himself off the sofa, but Niall pulled him back and gave him a smile.

"I was laughing because, unfortunately, I owe Harry a tenner."

"Wait... you and Harry made a bet as well?"

"Yeah, it was about who would make the best couple expect from Larry Stylinson. I chose Ziall, he said Ziam, so he wins!"

Liam sighed in relief, glad that Niall was accepting.

"So, sorry to rush the subject, but how exactly does this relate to Harry?"

"He, when I told him, said we can't help who we fall in love with. And after thinking about it, the way he said it, after I admitted my crush, made me think that maybe he likes Louis, as more than a best mate"

"You think?"

"Yes. Think about it. He has always been the more romantic of the two in their bromance, even though Louis thought it was only a joke. He continued to sleep with Louis despite them two having the massive argument, which he started, proving that he didn't hate him. He left the diary for Louis, "explaining everything". He let Louis help him on his last day here when he left. He fell asleep wrapped around Louis on his own accord when he thought Louis was fast asleep. He told Louis is was all his fault. And, he even took a photo of Louis before he left. So, all together, I think that it concludes that he is, and has been for some time, in love with Louis, but is too scared of rejection to tell him, meaning that yes, it was Louis' fault he was like he was, nut not technically in a bad way."

They both sat in silence for a few moments as Niall processed what Liam had just told him, the pieces of the jigsaw fitting together, and then he smiled, laughing as he realized the truth, which, was actually so bloody simple!

"How the hell didn't we figure this out earlier?!" 

"Because he didn't believe he could get him, just hoped it would disappear, but instead the attraction grew."

"I'm guessing its the same with you and Zayn?"

"Yeah... Honestly, I've always been attracted to him. but I never thought I would swing that way. Dani provided a distraction for a while, but I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't lie to myself, that's why I broke up with her."

"So what happened between you and Zayn then? Because as far as I can tell, if you havn't told him, then why is he in a mood with you? Not that he would anyway, but I just can't see why he would"

Well, he rang Harry earlier, as you know, and Harry confirmed to him that it was Louis' fault that he left, but wouldn't say why. In their conversation, Harry let slip that he had spoken to me, and Zayn got annoyed when Harry wouldn't tell him one, why it was Louis' fault, and two, what he was talking to me about. Zayn stormed off, we argued about it, he said he couldn't trust me anymore and then he left. End of"

"So he knows you are keeping a secret then. just doesn't know what?"

"Yup, and I can't tell him."

"Well look, you didn't get much sleep last night, and you've had a long day, so go get some rest and I'll just tell the guys you are tired"

"Cheers Niall, you are the best."

"Anytime mate, I'm coming up for a shower so I'll follow you up."

The two boys got up and hugged, before going upstairs. 

The other two boys in the kitchen let out a breath that they had been holding in, crouched behind the kitchen wall. They had come in through the front earlier, after going to Mc Donald's so Zayn could calm down. They were hiding in the kitchen to scare Niall, but when he had let Liam in, he still thought they were out, and, with Zayn still pissed at Liam, Louis made him stay in the kitchen to avoid a fight, consequently meaning they had heard all of Liam's confessions, and his theory about Harry. The two boys looked at eachother and gulped, not knowing what to do about what they now knew.

Will they act on their knowledge?

What will happen in the morning?


	13. A Glimmer of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> It's the morning after the night before...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Yay! I have over 2000 reads on this story now!!! Yay!! So so so so happy! You have no idea how much this means to me!! So... it's been an eventful week, especially today, for all us Directioners! I mean, Children In Need, Jonathan Ross (which if you haven't seen, look it up on Youtube, it's one of the best interviews they have ever done!), plus the boys are linking up this Saturday with Doctor Who for 1DDAY!!!! Oh, and the accidently release of THE WHOLE MIDNIGHT MEMORIES ALBUM!!!!!!!! Wohoo! I've still preordered it but I have it now :) So, here we go, the next chapter. It was double the length but i've split it in two, so here's the first part! Enjoy!! Please read, comment and enjoy!! Love you alllllll xxxxx k xxxxx

The next morning, all 4 boys in the house slept in late, due to it being their last day off before they went on another 3 week stint of endless interviews, shows and signings. Truthfully, if the whole group would've been there, they would probably have been at least downstairs by now, talking whilst watching TV and eating, nothing strenuous, just sat all together, but it just didn't feel right to do it without Harry there. 

Louis was the first to wake up, and almost immediately grabbed his phone. He and Zayn had been texting the night before, after Liam's revelations, as they both needed their space but also the support. He had 4 new texts, all from different people

Mum - Hey darling. you haven't called in a few days, are you ok? I know you are probably trying to enjoy your days off, so may have turned your phone off, I was just hoping you could maybe update me? Ps, what's up with Hazza? You two fell out? Love you, please talk soon, Mum xxxx

Stan - Oi, mate, you missing somat? Like, a phone call to your best Donny mate?! Got a game today, so fancy coming down to watch?

Gemmmmmma Styles - WHY WON'T HARRY ANSWER MY CALLS?! 

Zaynie - Hey Lou, sorry, I know we have already said goodnight, but I can't sleep without saying this. I meant what I said earlier. Stay strong, goodnight x

Louis re-locked his phone, with the reminder to ring his Mum and Stan later, before grabbing the diary from the side and opening it on the correct page. He flicked through the remaining pages, realising that Harry actually filled up every single page of it, and that there was a significant change in pen part way through.

After Liam's confession last night, he and Zayn had both gone straight to bed, shocked and surprised by it all. They could now both understand why Liam had been so secretive, and Zayn immediately wanted to run to Liam and apologize for earlier, but he knew he would then know that Zayn knew, which could ruin everything. He had then eventually sent Liam a text, saying

Hey Li, sorry about earlier, you know you can tell me anything though, right? Still annoyed that you are keeping secrets like Hazza has been, but I don't wanna fight with you. See you in the morning, Ze x

 

That had made him feel a little better about things, knowing that he had told Liam he was sorry, but his main worry was how he was going to act the next morning. However, he thought, it must be really hard on Niall, knowing all these secrets and not being able to tell the other boys. Zayn decided to go over to Niall's room to talk to him, and surprisingly, Niall was already awake, sat watching an episode of Top Gear, though Zayn couldn't figure out which one. Niall budged up for him to get on the bed, and he lept onto it, smothering Niall in a near hug, which Niall returned with a laugh.

"Morning you crazy mofo! What on earth are you doing awake this early, on a day off, and I'm guessing on your own accord?" Niall asked as Zayn rolled off to lie next to him.

"Meh, couldn't sleep, the party was pretty shit to be honest with ya. We came back earlier than planned. What about you? You are never awake this early either!"

"Ah, I fell asleep on the sofa last night, and Liam woke me up when he got back. Wasn't really that tired after that to be honest"

"Did... Did Liam say anything?"

"Well we talked, you know, that thing friends usually do when they see eachother? What about?"

"About our argument..."

"You guys had an argument?" 

"Yes... Well kinda... Doesn't matter, I've texted him saying sorry"

"What was it about? You two never argue!"

"Oi nosy!"

"Hey! You brought it up! Not my fault I got curious!"

"Fine... Well, you know how I spoke to Harry?"

"After the TV thing?"

"Yeah.. Well he just told me that it was Louis' fault that he left, and that the diary would explain all. And then I said that he knows he could tell me anything, and he said it sounded just like him and Liam's conversation not too long ago"

"Right.. Wait, he and Liam have been speaking?"

"Yes, that's what got me. Harry put the phone down on me mid sentence, and I got annoyed, hence why I walked out, to calm down. But then Liam found me, and I just let rip, because he wouldn't tell me what was bothering him! It's like he doesn't trust me anymore! And then the fact that Harry had only spoken to him AND he kept it quiet! Niall, it just feels like the band is already falling apart at the seams, first Harry, and now Liam, and it got to me, y'know?"

"I know what you mean Ze, I know what you mean. But, have you considered that maybe Liam just wants a bit of space? Just remember he is just as stressed as us about Harry leaving, and, plus, if Harry had confided in him and asked him not to tell us guys, he is going to stick to his promise isn't he? I mean, he's kept enough secrets for the rest of us over time. I know with the situation currently it seems a bit selfish, but he is just being a loyal friend, just like he is to the rest of us, yeah?"

Zayn took a deep breath, registering what Niall had said, before smiling.

"Yeah, I suppose so. I know, I acted a bit rash with him yesterday, and it's no good us both fighting."

"Well, why don't you go see him in person now? Apologize in person, not just in text. Plus, I know that he will probably tell you when he ready, and currently, arguing with him isn't going to make it happen any sooner. "

"Yeah, you are right. I'll go and see him."

Zayn gave Niall another hug, before rolling off the bed and walking towards the door. He turned before he left to face Niall.

"Thankyou. For everything. You are the best"

Niall smiled back at him and replied.

"Anytime Ze. That;s what friends are for. Now go make up with Liam before he panics"

They both laughed together, and Zayn left the room, making his way towards Liam's room, cautiously knocking on the door and taking a deep breath, waiting for a response.

"Hello, come in!" Liam shouted from inside.

Zayn cautiously pulled down the handle and walked in, gently closing it behind him and making his way over to where Liam was sat on the edge of his bed, going through what looked like his Twitter feed on his phone, and perched himself next to him.

"Morning Ze, what's up?" Liam asked casually, although his heart was beating frantically in his chest.

"Does there have to be something wrong? Can't I come and sit with my best mate just cause I feel like it?"

Zayn jabbed Liam in the ribs, and Liam squealed, dropping his phone. He bent down to pick it up and put it on the side, before returning to his previous position.

"Of course, only it's 8am, we are off, and you are up... Just doesn't fit really... So in conclusion, there's either something wrong, or you have gone crazy..."

Zayn laughed, and lay back on the bed, pulling Liam down with him and putting his hand over Liam's heart, feeling its rapid pace, before turning over to face him.

"Seriously, you guys have such negative perceptions of me! I'm wounded! I'm not seriously that bad at getting up am I?"

"I hate to say it, but yes, you are! Especially when we actually have to get up, like tomorrow, when we have to be out for 9, so reckon you can repeat it?"

"Ha, no way, I'm going to sleep in on purpose then!"

The two boys laughed in chorus, but then Liam went serious, leaning up on his elbow and turning to look down at Zayn.

"Anyway, back to the point. What's up?"

"I... I wanted to apologize, for yesterday. I shouldn't have run off and shouted, I understand where you are coming from."

"Ze, I'm as much to blame as you are here. You had a valid point, and yeah maybe I should've told you guys that he and Harry spoke, it just slipped my mind. And as far as my secret goes, I will tell you. I promise. It's just... I need to find the right way of saying it, and I need to get my own head staright beforehand, ok? I'm sorry I never meant for you to think I didn't trust you, because I do, a lot. I just need a little time."

Zayn smiled, and they hugged, not breaking contact for about 5 minutes, and they both stayed silent, forgiving eachother in their own ways. It did only last that long, but only because Liam's body began to do things he wasn't in control of, and, not wanting Zayn to figure it out, he quickly released him and rolled off the bed, running from the room shouting

"I got the desperate urge for a wee!"

back to Zayn, who sat laughing on the bed until Liam had locked the bathroom door. But what Liam didn't know, was that Zayn had noticed, and that he was also having a little trouble in that area as well at the thought...

Did Zayn feel the same way, but he just didn't know it yet?


	14. Revalations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Louis reads on, Liam and Zayn have some quiet time, and its picture's galore :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thankyou so so much for all the comments ect, here is the next chapter!! Now, I know that I have only summarised all of the diary entries, however if I wouldn't have done, it would have been at least another 3 weeks before anything really happened, so I decided to speed it up a little! Some of the entries may be included in later chapters, I have my idea for that, but also I may do another story with them all in :) Love you all! And if I don't update before Tuesday (which is possible due to school and work) then enjoy 1DDay and love Midnight Memories!!!!! Please, read, comment and enjoy!! K xxxx

Meanwhile, Louis lay on his bed, flicking through the journal entries, just skim reading them, determined to get as many done as he could. He was now at the start of the tour, and so far, these were the main points he had come across

Judge's Houses - Harry had documented his reaction to Louis' injury in so much detailed, that it was as if he remembered it better than Louis did himself. He learnt that Harry had sobbed himself to sleep, telling Liam he had a headache, and had decided that he would rather quit X-Factor than see Louis hurt. 

Judge's Houses - Moving into the X-Factor House - He had just basically raved on about how amazing Louis was, and in the time that the boy's had spent at his house, Harry had came out as bi-sexual to his family secretly, admitted that he fancied Louis but told them all to keep it quiet, which they did. He mentioned that he thought Liam and Zayn would make a good couple, and that Gemma, his sister, had a rather big crush on Niall, mainly due to his accent, which she loved. He wrote every single day, telling his diary in detail everything that had happened in the day, especially documenting Louis' reactions and words ect, and he always managed to make them funny yet emotionfull at the same time.

Time in the X-factor house - Wrote once a week, usually the day that they recorded their weekly video diary, which again he decribed in detail, and said that his feelings for Louis had grown stronger. He also said that he thought that maybe Louis liked him back, with all the "and I'd marry you, Harry, because it rhymes" and the whole "kiss me" things in the dressing room. He also admitetd some rather embarresing things, and said that he was quite home sick. His final entry was on the day they came 3rd, and he just said what a wonderful time he had had, that he hoped that the boys kept their promise and that they would all meet up, and that someday he hoped they would record together, because in his opinion they were good enough to. Oh, and of course, he admitted how upset he was that his time with Louis had come to an end, but that was to be expected.

Record deal day - very happy, excitable entry just documenting how surprised and happy ect everyone was at getting the deal.

Any days they spent together between then and the release of the first song - just general briefs of the day, funny quotes, anything worthwhile noting really... and mentions of Louis of course....

Release of the album - He just basically lost track of time and ended up writing a load of babble down in the hotel when they finally had a minute!

Tour annoucment - How shocked he was at the amount of fans

Every interview they did - Details....

The first day performing What Makes You Beautiful on Red or Black - the nerves, the twitter hate, his documented break down, how he thought he had let them all down, how he wasn't good enough ect. (Louis cried reading it.)

And finally...

The last day before the start of the tour - How excited he was, the details of the tour, twitter comments, signings, people, just everything!!

This was where Louis had got to now, and as he had now been reading for nearly 5 hours, and he was hungry, he shut up the diary and went downstairs, where Niall was playing Just Dance on the Wii in the living room, which was an hilarious sight, and Louis burst out laughing as soon as he saw him. He ended up dancing with him in the next song, which they both failed on, more ending up hitting eachother rather than doing the right dance moves. They ended up laughing in a heap on the floor, after Niall managed to trip Louis up, who consequently fell straight into him, and they fell like dominos. They stayed there to watch their replays, which were even funnier, and then they both proceeded to help eachother up and walk to the kitchen, where Niall had already put a pizza in. It wasn't ready yet, so they both sat on the counters of the kitchen, and talked for a while.

"Sorry about last night Ni, Zayn was in a very weird mood" Louis began.

"Ah, don't worry about it, I enjoyed the quiet night in to be honest with ya. How was clubbing?"

"Meh, it was boring, didn't stay that long in the end. You must've already gone to bed when we got back."

"Yeah, I went quite early, it was nice to get a decent night's sleep, what with the schedule from hell starting tomorrow."

"God, don't remind me. Did Liam come back?"

"Yeah, yeah. Said he was having a nice quiet walk and lost track of time. How was Zayn?"

"He was fine, yeah. He just said he and Liam had a bit of a spat, think they will sort it though."

"Yeah, I think he's with him now."

"You heard from Hazza?"

"Nah, you?"

"Nope, might text him in a bit though."

"Hey, I've got something to show you actually"

Niall pulled his phone from his pocket and clicked on the picture of Harry and Louis sleeping from before. Louis smiled, and took the phone from Niall, texting himself a copy and then zooming in.

"Do you reckon... nah wait, doesn't matter" Louis said, handing the phone back to Niall.

"What? Just say it now, you know how curious I am"

"Well, do you reckon maybe... maybe I am the reason for Harry leaving, but in a good way? If you get what I mean?"

"Erm, yeah, you mean like Harry left because he.."

"Fancied me. Yeah, cause I've just been reading his diary, and he admitted to having a crush on me, and that his feelings grew stronger, so maybe.... maybe they never stopped?"

"Yeah, its possible. I think you two just need to talk about it."

"Yeah sure, I mean, if we are sharing the same hotel room tomorrow night, then we can."

"You reckon you will?"

"Well I'm not against it if he isn't, and judging by that photo he won't be"

"True true. Anyway, pizza's done, grab us some plates!"

Meanwhile, back upstairs, Liam had now returned to his bedroom, and he and Zayn were lay watching Titanic on TV, basically because it was the first thing they found. Zayn was resting his head on Liam's chest, and Liam had one arm wrapped around him. Liam's eyes were filled with tears as he always cried at the ending, and Zayn was using Liam's T-shirt as a tissue for himself, not that he minded at all.

As the movie ended, Liam started drifting into a sleep due to his lack of sleep the night before, and Zayn lay watching him, smiling as his eyelids fluttered and his muscles flacked as he began to drift into his slumber. Zayn relaxed further into the crook of his arm, and draped his own arm over Liam's torso, which was currently bare due to Zayn pulling it up to use to wipe his eyes. But before dropping off himself, Zayn reached up and craned his neck, placing a gentle kiss to the corner of Liam's mouth, before snuggling back down. 

Louis came upstairs to check on the pair, and smiled at the sight. Maybe there was hope for them after all. He ran for his phone and snapped a photo, sending it to Niall, and then attaching it to a text to Harry, saying,

Text to: Hazza

Attachment: Ziam .jpg

Message: Here's a little photo update of our future couple in their fetus days. Missing you loads Hazza, please come back soon. They remind me of us in our first days, snuggled up in bed together watching a movie and falling asleep in eachother's arms. I miss those days. I've read up to the start of the tour, and thankyou for all the lovely compliments. Let me tell you now, I was just as happy to be with you as you said you were to be with me, and pleased don't ever forget that. Ps, thought I ought to let you know, me and Elenor broke up like 2 weeks ago. I think I might have told you, well attempted to, but I have a feeling it may be brought up in the interview tomorrow so I didn't want to surprise you if you didn't know. Love you Hazza, can't wait to see you again. PPS, can I share a room with you tomorrow? Love you Loubear xxxx

Louis sent the message, and it was immediately delivered. He then had another idea, and wrote a new message.

Text to: Hazza

Attatchment: Larry Stylinson in bed from Niall .jpg

Message: Also, thought you might want to know I have this saved to my phone. I missed this, I really did, and I was hoping to wake up in your arms again, but this will suffice I suppose. Where has my Hazza gone? Love Lou xxxx

Louis pressed send, as Harry read the first message. He didn't reply for a few minutes, but he did eventually.

Text from: Hazza

Attachment: My Loubear sleeping .jpg

Message: 1. Of course I will share a room with you 2. I'm sorry, next time I will wake you. 3. Sorry about you and Elenor, I'm here if you want to talk. 4. as you can see I took my own picture. I'm still here, I just needed to clear my head. I'll be with you from now on, just a few more hours. Love Hazza. xxxx

Louis smiled widely at the text, seeing a glimpse of the old Harry back again making him happy. He decided not to reply, instead going downstairs to show Niall, before finishing off the pizza and falling asleep on the sofa.


	15. Early Morning Rush Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> It's the morning of the start of their weeks from media hell, and it's chaos as usual from the 1D boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! WOW!! 2440 reads!! Thankyou so much guys, and to all my new readers :) So then, I was going to post last night, but I was too busy watching 1DDay! Nearly 8 hours the boys gave us and I didn't miss a second of it! Ziam hour was amazing! The Larry stares through Little Things... OMG it literally made my night. Louis - 'define girlfriends'.... One proper relationship - no gender. Psyching out when Andy Murray asked if his girlfriend could have Harry's number, the defensive Louis... the list goes on.... Anyway, this chapter is kind of a filler, because although it has some story line in it, it's the next chapter which is important! Never the less, enjoy, read, comment, ect. The next chapter might not be up until Friday as I have to revise for my theory test all this week!! Enjoy!! K xxxx

The next morning was the day of the interview, and all 5 boys, including Harry, had to be up, dressed, washed and filled with food by 9, which, as usual, wasn't an easy task. Niall had fallen asleep watching TV on the sofa downstairs, so his back ached when he woke up at 8, nearly screaming when he realized the time, and the fact that the house was deadly silent, meaning none of the other boys were up. He grabbed his phone, which annoyingly was nearly dead, and texted a wake up call to Harry, as he had probably forgot to set his alarm, before running frantically upstairs to wake the others.

Louis was the easiest, and he got up without question (well, he might have groaned a bit, but that's typical), coming from his room to help wake the other 2 boys up. Liam and Zayn, surprisingly, were still curled up together in Liam's bed, with 2 empty plates on the side and the TV showing the main menu for Toy Story 3. As Zayn was half on top of Liam, both still fully dressed from the night before, they had to wake him up first, which was never an easy task. However, they decided that they had time to take a photo of them before hand, just because they were cute, and it was also good bribing material.

They started by rolling him off Liam, which made Liam wake up, and surprisingly, Liam decided to roll back over and cuddle Zayn again, which yes, made another cute photo, however it also meant it was now 8:15, and none of them were washed, dressed or fed yet, and 2 of them were still asleep... Not a good start. They then tried rolling Liam over right to the other side of the bed, however, due to him being awake, he decided that he would cling onto the side of the bed for dear life, thus also trapping Zayn, who was slowly starting to wake up. They tried tickling him, but that also failed, his thick thermal vest top making it have no effect on him.

Eventually, they gave up, instead going for something they didn't like doing, however if they actually wanted to get ready sometime today. then they had to do it. Niall grabbed a cup of water from the side, and chucked it over the 2 boys, before shouting.

"It's 8:30, we have to be out for 9, get up you lazy buggers!"

as he and Louis sprinted from the room in fits of chuckles, running to their own rooms to get sorted and packed. 

Liam and Zayn woke up fully immediately as the water hit them, and they screamed loudly, but quickly jumped out of bed when they registered what Niall had said. Zayn was just about to leave the room when he realized that he had woken up with Liam, and started to worry.

"Erm, Li?"

"Yeah Ze?"

"Did I stay here all night?"

"Yeah, you fell asleep half way through Toy Story, and I didn't want to wake you. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just confused for a second on how I ended up in here, makes sense now though. See you downstairs in 10"

Zayn left the room, and Liam let out a sigh of relief, glad that Zayn hadn't caught him out. The reason he had given Zayn was true, he hadn't wanted to wake him. but the real reason was because he had enjoyed having him with him, just the two of them, relaxing together. It wasn't about the romantic side of it, even though the thought did enter his head for a split second, but the fact that they hadn't done it in ages.

Zayn was always running off to go and see Perrie, who, after dating him for a short while after they met on the X-Factor when they had gone back to mentor, was now his new girl best mate, and for some reason, Zayn had decided he needed to be at her beck and call after their break up, due to the distance. She had never come to meet the other boys in person, only Skyping with them when Zayn was at her's, and it had annoyed them all, seeing him spend thousands on her, something he felt he needed to do as compensation for 'breaking her heart', even though she had moved on within a day, and had had numerous boyfriends since.

Liam knew that it must have been the same when he and Dani were dating, but at least he made time for the boys as well, and she still came to see them even after the break-up. It almost made Liam wonder whether they were still romantically involved, but it brought a pang to his heart every time he did, making him realize that Zayn was totally straight and that his love would never be requited.

Never the less, by 8:50, all the boys were washed, dressed, packed, and were all sat around the breakfast table eating toast and cereal. Niall's phone suddenly went off, and he checked it inbetween bites, nearly chocking on his breakfast laughing at the message before reading it out.

"It's from Harry. I texted him earlier to wake him up, and he's replied, saying cheers Ni, yes, as usual I did forget to set my alarm! Hope you've managed to get all the boys up ok, I'm gonna hazard a guess that Zayn was a pain in the ass as usual when it comes to waking up, and I don't know why, I have a feeling that Liam might have been as well? (smiley face) (winky face) Just dropped in at McDonald's for brekky before the show, I'll see you guys soon! Hazza x ps, tell Louis to bring it please, I'll text him now but just in case he hasn't got his phone on him. Bye!"

All the boys laughed at Harry's bluntness, and at his psychic ability in knowing that Liam and Zayn would both be pains to get up. Louis finished, getting up to wash his pots before sprinting upstairs to grab his bags and his phone, double checking to make sure the journal was in there. He swiped his phone, and sure enough, he had a new message.

Text from: Hazza

Message: Morning Loubear, hope you are actually awake on time, and that Niall didn't have to kill you to wake you up, I know how grumpy you can get! Make sure you bring the diary, I wanna talk to you and sort things, and it will help. Trust me. Have a safe journey, don't forget anything, and I'll see you at the interview soon. Love Hazza xxx

Lou smiled at the text, and how Harry knew him so well, before sending a message back.

Text to: Hazza

Message: Morning Hazza, hey! It's usually YOU that gets up late and I have to wake YOU up! It was Zayn and Liam who fought the problem, kept rolling on top of eachother and stopping us from waking them up! (yes, you did just hear that, together) Yes, I have the diary safely packed. I'm glad we can sort stuff out, it's killing me you not being here and us not talking face to face. Can't wait to see you at the interview, awake this time. Love Lou xxx

Louis clicked send, and made sure it had delivered, before lugging his bags downstairs and out the front door, where the other guys were already, loading their stuff into the car. They quickly ran back in to check they hadn't forgotten anything, made sure all the doors were locked, and then pilled into the car, and they set off to the interview, which was in the tour bus, ready for the start of a few weeks of media hell.


	16. Boys on Film

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> It's interview time!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhh!!!! Just passed my theory test!!! Here's a chapter to celebrate!!! Please read, comment and enjoy!! K xxxx

They arrived at the tour bus around 10am, and the 4 boys tumbled out of the car, thanking their driver as he drove off to drop their bags off at the hotel. They had 5 hours to kill before the interview, including time for hair and makeup, even though it was meant to be a real-life, look like we are on tour interview. Liam and Zayn headed straight for the go cart track, Niall decided to go and play 'annoy the security guards' by kicking a football at them, which left Louis on his own. 

A sleek black car pulled up besides him and he immediately knew who was inside, practically running over to the door as the curly hair boy stepped out, enveloping him in a massive hug. Harry nearly fell back from the force, laughing at Louis' eagerness, before returning the hug with just as much affection, lifting Louis up to rest on his hips like a koala bear and carrying him to the tour bus. When they got inside, Harry shut the door behind them, still not letting him go, and walked over to one of the bedrooms, placing him down gently on the bed and sitting beside him.

"So then, how was living on you own for a while?" Louis asked, knowing that if he didn't ask now he never would, plus the tension in the room would probably soon set in if someone didn't talk.

"Erm, yeah. It was interesting. I never cooked, it was so quiet, and I missed you guys loads. I never want to do that again."

"I'm sorry we made you do it. But I hope you understand why we did?"

"Yeah, actually, it did me good. I just needed some space to clear my head, and sort some things out, and I thought that I would be able to do it in the house, but I couldn't. So actually you did me a favour, so thankyou."

"Oh, right. Well I'm glad you have managed to sort your head out. Will you move back in then? After this stretch?"

"Of course I will, Lou. I couldn't bear to stay away any longer!" 

They both laughed, and fell backwards onto the bed.

"I know we need to talk, but we only have a few hours before the interview, and I was figuring that would be more of a tonight thing."

"Yeah, it kinda is. What do you wanna do then until then?"

"Watch a movie?" Louis suggested, rolling over to face Harry

"Grease sound ok?" Harry replied, glancing up at the shelf above the TV.

"Course! You set up, I'll go grab some popcorn!" 

Louis purposely rolled over Hary, and slid off the bed, running to the kitchen to grab a bag of popcorn and a bottle of coke before returning to the bedroom, where Harry was now lay clicking random buttons on the remote. He set them down on the sidetable, and jumped onto the bed next to him. Harry threw his arm around Louis' shoulders, and Louis snuggled up to him, rested his head on Harry's shoulder as Harry threaded his fingers though Louis' hair. He clicked play on the remote and they relaxed into eachother to watch the movie.

At 1pm, the boys were called in for hair and makeup as the cameras started to arrive, and Liam had to go in to wake Harry and Louis up. They had both fallen to sleep in eachothers arms, both fully conscious of the fact this time, and he took a picture of them, before attempting to wake them up.

"Get up you lazy mofos! Its show time!" NIall shouted, and Louis immediately woke up, however Harry was still fast asleep. 

"You can wake him up Lou, I don't fancy have a grumpy Harry in the interview." Liam said before walking towards the door.

"Oh, and I'm happy for you. I'm glad you are finally sorting things out." He said before leaving the room.

Louis turned to Harry, who was now clutching the pillow like a teddy bear, and began to tickle him. Harry slowly began to wake up, and turned to Louis, pouncing on him to make him stop. They both started laughing as they wrestled on the bed, until Louis finally triumphed, pinning Harry down by his arms whilst he was hovering over him.

"I win then, don't I Hazza?" Louis smirked as Harry made no attempt to free himself.

"I suppose you do, but I will get my revenge, don't you worry" Harry replied. smirking back, but still staying still under Louis' grasp.

Louis' arms began to give way underneath him due to the lack of energy in his after-sleep state, and he collapsed straight onto Harry, nearly head butting him in the face.

"I highly doubt you will beat me, dear Harry" Louis whispered into his ear, and his deep, morning voice sent shivers down Harry's spine, straight to other places.

"I...I will, you just don't know how yet. It will be a total surprise!" Harry whispered back, his voice doing exactly the same thing to Louis, which was about to leave them in a potentially very awkward situation very soon, however neither boy made any attempts to move.

"Hmm, I'd like to see you try" Louis said, his lips grazing Harry's ear, and Louis could now definitely feel something hard pressing into his thigh, yet he stayed still.

"Oh, I bet you would." Harry replied, this time letting his teeth rub against his ear, and there was now no doubt for either boy about what it was doing to them, but again, they stayed there, well, apart from Louis, who may have moved sightly more in line with Harry, so that they were now brushing against eachother.

Louis moved his face so that he was infront of Harry, and they locked eyes, seeing into eachother like never before. Seeing the want, the lust, the love in them. Harry lifted his hips slightly to meet Louis', and they both moaned quietly at the friction.

Just then, Niall barged through the door, followed by Liam and Zayn, who were now all dressed up and made up ready for the interview. Niall began shouting when he came into the room, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw them.

"Louis, Harry, you have to...oh....ok....I'll just wait outside..."

Niall quickly turned to run out the room, and Louis hid his face in Harry's shoulder.

"Erm, yeah, guys. As much as I am really happy for you guys, and I really really am, there will be time for congratulations later. It's 2pm, and you two need to get your asses down to hair and makeup pronto!" Liam said, smiling at them both before following Niall.

Zayn was still stood in the room, and Louis clambered off of Harry. Zayn locked eyes with Louis, telling him they needed to talk, and Harry got the message, giving them both a hug before leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. Zayn sat down on the edge of the bed next to Louis, and broke down in his arms, smudging all the makeup.

"Hey, hey, let it all out Ze. We have an hour, and I'm here" Louis said, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend and rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"I fell for him. I've fallen for Liam. Well at least I think I have. But now he's being really careful what he says! And when I saw you and Hazza, I saw what I wanted for me and Liam." Zayn replied, snuggling further into Louis' chest.

"Ze, look, you know he likes you back, so why don't you go for it?"

"Because he is embarrassed. He is ashamed of the fact that he likes men. I heard him on the phone to his mum earlier."

"Well, show him that he shouldn't be."

"How?"

"Well, we have an hour till the interview, go and talk to him."

"You think it will work?"

"I'm positive"

Zayn got up and wiped his eyes, and Louis stood up, giving him another hug before following him out the room.

"Just make sure you pop down to H and M before the show!" Louis shouted to him

"Ok, I won't forget!." Zayn replied, and they went their separate ways.

By 3pm, all the boys were finally ready, and they got in their positions for the interview. They were all stood outside the tour bus, then they would go into separate parts to show them round, apart from the hidden master bedrooms, like where Louis and Harry had been earlier, as they were secret for a reason. They stood in a line, with Harry and Niall at either end, Louis next to Harry, and a very smug looking Zayn and Liam in the middle. They got the 2 minute signal, and they all glared at the smug couple, who both turned bright red. The camera man gave 5, and they all turned back round, ready for roll.

"Hello! Good afternoon, or morning wherever you are! We are One Direction, and this is our tour bus interview!" Louis said, and then they all ran inside and got their positions. Zayn was the first, and he was at the kitchen.

"So guys, this is our tour bus kitchen. It's a pretty standard motorhome kitchen, great for pizzas ect, and we have a fridge full of snacks to keep us going, and of course a bunch of carrots, which Louis loves so much!" Zayn said, and Louis threw a cushion at him from where he was seated in the lounge area.

"Hey guys, this is the lounge area! Basically, we just use this space to chill when we aren't sleeping, and we play cards ect here. Also we have a wifi box, and multiple phone chargers, and the laptop plugged in here, so its also like out techie area! We have an xbox, sound system, anything you could wants here! And now, to Harry, in the drivers seat!" 

"So, this is the cabin area! Our lovely driver, who drives all hours while we sleep and mess our in the back, sits here and just drives us around. Of course he has an intercom so that he can talk to us and also usually has a co driver, and if not we just usually annoy him, because we can! And now to Liam in the bathroom!"

As the bathroom was the other end of the bus, it took the crew 5 minutes to get down there and sorted, and Zayn, Louis and Harry all hid in the bunks with Niall while they weren't looking.

"Now that we are sorted, this is our bathroom! Which is currently full of random bottle because we haven't had chance to sort it yet, if we ever do! We have a double shower, a radiator and a stand in dryer! Because we can! And the final thing to see is the bedroom bunks! Follow me!"

The boys had pulled the curtains shut so they didn't suspect them to jump out, and one of the guys nearly dropped his camera when he did. They all burst out laughing as Louis, Zayn and Harry all jumped from behind the curtains, but Niall stayed deadly quiet. Suddenly, he leaped from the top bunk, letting Louis and Zayn catch him, before giving his speech.

"Yes indeed, this is our last part, our bunks! There are 8 bunks in total, all single sized, and they are memory foam and really comfy! And Zayn will tell you that they also apparently pull you in and hold you tight when you have to get up in a morning, don't they Zayn?"

Everyone laughed again, and Zayn went and hid back behind one of the bunk curtains, while Louis and Harry showed the interviewers out. Liam decided to get in with him, and Niall walked to the other end to give them some privacy.

"So, then, good interview?" Liam asked, turning over to face Zayn, who was staring at the wall.

"Same old same old really. Not that I didn't enjoy it, it just seems like the same thing every day, and we have the other interview later. At least we only have 2 things today" Sighed Zayn, rolling over to face Liam back.

"Well, we do have a pretty repetitive job, but I wouldn't change it for the world."

"Nah, me neither. And I'm glad I get to live it with you guys. I don't think it wouldn't been as good with other people. Or solo for that matter."

"To think we all wanted to go it alone at the start"

"And... you nearly made it once!"

"I was 15, I would never have made it. Way too young."

"Well I'm glad you came back. I really am."

"Me too Ze, me too."

"So then, what we were talking about earlier. You said you had something to tell me?" Zayn asked cautiously.

"Oh yeah, that. Well, I'm kinda... bi? Well more gay than bi, but I could still go for a girl if she was the right one."

"Really? Well I suppose I have something to tell you as well then"

"Erm... ok. Go ahead."

"So am I!"

Liam's jaw fell open as he stared at Zayn in disbelief.

"Wait, you are?"

"Yup, 100% sure"

"But, Perrie? You are always at hers, even though you guys broke up?"

"Oh yeah, about that. Well she was kinda the first one to know. Then Louis, then you."

"Ah ok, well the first person I told... Was Harry. That was what my secret was. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell you, I was just scared of what your reaction would be. I told Niall the night me and you had the argument, and then, as you may have heard, I told my mum earlier. And she told me she would be supportive of me and that I should tell you guys. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before."

Zayn pulled him into his arms, and they lay there for a few minutes in each others embrace. 

"So then, anyone caught your eye then?" Zayn asked cautiously, hoping that Liam would open up to him fully.

"Erm... Kinda. I like them a lot, but I'm scared of telling them because I'm scared of wrecking our friendship. What about you?"

"Actually, exactly the same. I think you should tell that person that you like them. You never know, they might just like you back."

"Yeah, you too." 

"Hey, how's about we both say who we like at the same time? They we can help each other get with them!"

"Erm, I don't know"

"Come on! I promise I won't laugh!"

Liam stayed silent for a few moments, before agreeing.

"Ok then, 3,2,1...." 

Both boys spoke at exactly the same time, looking directly at each other as they did.

"You".


	17. Confessions of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Tensions are high, but why?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am so so so so so so sorry that I haven't updated in a while, I have literally just been so so busy that I haven't had chance to! So here is chapter 1 of 2 for today, hopefully you will all love it! Please, read, comment, and enjoy! Love you all! K xxxx

Later on in the day, it was time for the second interview of the day, this time on the One Show, where they would also perform 'What makes you beautiful' and also answer some questions. They were all piled in and travelling in the tour bus again with their musicians, however instead of everything being happy now that they were all together again, the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and this time, it was nothing to do with Harry.

Currently, Harry and Louis were sat together in the sitting area playing a co-op game on their phones online, Niall and Josh were sat the other side of the table listening to music, but Zayn and Liam hadn't joined them. After their conversation earlier, Zayn had stormed off to the back of the bus, and Liam had stayed in the bunk, curled up and reserved, and nobody had any clue why. Louis had gone to see them both, but Liam had turned so his back was towards him, refusing to say a word, and Zayn had pushed him away, saying it wasn't something he needed to get involved in, and to get back to Harry.

About half way to the studio, Paul gave Niall the itinerary for the next two weeks, so he decided to get them all together to read it. He shouted both Liam and Zayn, and got no answer, so he resulted to force. He walked to Liam's bunk, dragged him from the bed, and told him to go to the table, before storming up to where Zayn was, ripping his headphones and grabbing his hand, also pulling him to the table.The two boys sat opposite each other, with Zayn on Niall and Josh's side, and Liam on the others. They refused to look up, keeping their eyes down, fiddling with their phone. The whole table was deadly silent, and eventually Niall slammed his hand down on the table, making everyone jump.

"Right, look, guys. I haven't the faintest bloody idea what the hell has gone off between this morning and now, but we are sorting it, right now. I didn't really want to bring his up, but the tension in here right now is 10 times worse than it was when Harry was being awkward with us all, and this time it's bloody two of us. Look at us, we are finally back together for the first time, Harry, welcome back, I hope you are better or whatever, surely we should be happy right now?! But now you two, who were quite cosy curled up in bed earlier, and last night, and this morning when you both decided to be arses and not get up, apparently can't stand to be near each other, to which I haven't the faintest clue why. Now look, we have an interview in not long. They are obviously going to grill us about the whole Harry thing, but it seems that we won't have a problem with that now, but what are they going to think when they notice the tension between the two of you. I think the fans might be right, you know? We are falling apart. We've been together a year, after being given a second chance, and we are already on the verge of splitting up. Now, onto other things, the reason I dragged you both over here, as well as to try and talk some sense into you both, is because Paul has just given me this. The itinerary for the next 2 weeks. And at first glance, it looks pretty hectic, so we can't really afford to be arguing can we? Anyway, here it is"

Niall finished his speech and took a deep breath, pushing it out into the middle of the table so they could all see. (The itinary will be in the next chapter on its own) 

Whilst they were reading it, Zayn got his phone out and texted Louis.

Text to: Louis

Message: I told him. And he told me aswell. 

Louis' phone pinged, and he quickly read the message, sending Zayn a confused look as he sent a text back.

Text to: Zayn

Message: Well then, why the hell are you two arguing now then? Surely you should be all lovey dovey? 

Zayn's phone pinged, and the text message conversation continued.

Text to: Louis

Message: I thought it would be. I think it was going to be. We were just about to kiss when his phone went off.

Text to: Zayn

Message: So, what did it say? I'm guessing it must have been important for him to stop and read it, and for things to have gone badly.

Text to: Louis

Message: Well, the thing that made his phone go off was a mention on Twitter. People were talking about him apparently being in a relationship with Sophia Smith.

Text to: Zayn

Message: Right... Well surely that isn't true? I mean, even if it was, now that he knows you like him, he would dump her?

Text to: Louis

Message: That's what I thought as well. I asked him if it was true, and he said it was, and that he thought I would never like him back.

Text to: Zayn

Message: Now you are together though, well you can be. He can just dump her and be with you, obviously he would be happier with you. I don't see where the big problem is.

Text to: Louis

Message: I said that to him. I said that I was willing to give a relationship with him a go, but that I wasn't just going to be his 'bit on this side'. That he had to dump Sophia before I would be with him.

Text to: Zayn

Message: That is totally fair, I understand where you are coming from. So, I'm guessing the problem is that he won't dump her? Has he said that?

Text to: Louis

Message: No, well not exactly, but technically he did. He then received a text from her, all lovey dovey, and she said that Management have arranged for her to fly over tomorrow so she will be with him for a week. He just text back a lovely "yay, can't wait to see you, love you loads xxxxxx" kinda text, and then said that he couldn't break her heart. So I told him that obviously she meant more to him than I did, and I stormed off. And that's the end of it."

Louis looked up from his phone, and he could see the years welling in his eyes from where he was sat. Niall had just finished reading through the itinerary, so Louis got up, passing Harry his phone so that he could find out what was going on, before walking around the table and tapping Zayn on the table, who got up and followed him to the back of the bus. They went into the back bedroom and shut the door, and they both laid down on the bed. Zayn budged over and Louis wrapped him in a tight embrace, as the younger Bradford boy began sobbing into his chest. Louis ran his fingers through Zayn's blonde dyed quiff, messing it up but also soothing Zayn at the same time. Zayn ended up crying himself to sleep in the end, and Harry came in and cuddled up to Louis' other side, all 3 of them resting against each other until the end of the journey.

Meanwhile, Niall and Liam were still sat at the table, as Josh had gone to the other musicians when Harry had left, the silence making the atmosphere increasingly awkward. Liam looked defeated, as if all happiness had been drained out of him, and Niall moved over to the other side and held him, rubbing circles onto his back. They were silent for a few minutes, but then Liam broke, telling Niall everything.

"I've screwed up. Big time. I had my chance to get what I wanted, but I fucked it up. And now it's affecting everyone and I'm sorry"

Niall squeezed him tighter as his voice cracked.

"Hey, look, you can still fix whatever you have done. What happened?" Niall asked, and Liam took a deep breath before replying.

"I screwed things up with Zayn, Ni. He admitted he liked me in that way, and I did to him too, and I then messed it all up."

"But how? I have to admit, you two did look cosy earlier"

"Because, and I know I should've told you guys, I have a girlfriend. Sophia smith. I got with her last week, the day before Harry left, because I needed something to take my mind off my crush on Zayn after me and Dani broke up. I never for a moment thought he could like me back. "

"Well, why don't you just end it with her? Before the media find out?"

"That's the problem, they already know. That's what started the argument. We were about to kiss, and my phone went off. Some fans had snapped pictures of us leaving a restaurant, and then Management contacted her, and have arranged for her to fly over. Tomorrow. And I haven't got the heart to break it off with her. "

"Li, you have to think about what will make you happiest, being with her or being with him. And decide before it is too late."

"Well, that's obvious. It's him."

"Well, you have some decisions to make. And quickly. Now, look, we are at the studios now. We have 3 hours before the show, and we have sound check and H and M in that time. Talk to him." 

"Ok, thanks Ni. You are the best".

"No problem. Now, let's go rock the stage."

Liam laughed at that, and Niall got up, and pulled Liam up aswell. Harry and Louis slipped from the bedroom, signalling that Zayn was asleep. Liam nodded to Niall, and Niall pulled Louis and Harry out of the door, leaving Liam alone with a sleeping Zayn.

When the boys were out, Liam locked the door, and carefully proceeded to enter the bedroom where Zayn lay. He gazed over his figure, sprawled out like an octopus on the bed, and laughed, before slowly walking towards him and sitting besides him. 

He knew he only had half an hour till they had to be in for soundcheck, and he began attempting to wake him up by drawing spiral patterns on his back, which made him stir in his sleep and roll towards Liam so he was now lying on his back. Liam repeated his actions on his stomach, and Zayn began to giggle, a quite melodic sound which warmed Liam's heart. He continued to tickle him gently, and after a few moments, Zayn slowly opened his eyes, now laughing loudly, and pulled on Liam's hand to make him stop, which in turn pulled Liam to lie down on the bed next to him.   
They locked eyes for a moment, a glint of affection shows between them, but then the earlier events came back and flooded Zayn's mind, and he turned away. Liam knew he had to explain.

"Zayn, I know you are upset with me for not telling you, but please, just listen to me"

Zayn turned back over to face him, however then pushed himself so he was sitting against the headboard, which Liam did too.

"Look, I'm sorry. I overreacted. I understand if you are ashamed of me or the fact that you like me, but you don't go and try to kiss a guy if you are in a relationship."

"Zayn, look. That isn't why I'm here right now. If I was ashamed, I would've just left it how it was earlier, but Niall made me see sense. Yes, I feel bad about breaking it off with Sophia, but, I've realised that I love you, not her. I want to be with you, I have for a long time. It's just you were always with Perrie."

"Well if you would've asked me to stay I would've. I only hung with her because she knew about me liking you, and I couldn't stand knowing that you were with Dani."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise! Dani knew about me liking you too, so basically we were doing the same thing"

"But what about Sophia?"

"Well, I will pick you over her, if you will take me that is?"

Liam held out his hand to Zayn, and looked down, losing faith every second longer that it was empty. Eventually, Zayn placed his hand in Liam.

"Of course I will, why would I turn down you when I have been waiting so long to get you?"

Both boys laughed, and then they locked eyes again, but this time, their faces were only inches away from each other. Slowly, the two pairs of lips came closer, and eventually they touched, sparks flying between the two boys as they locked lips for the first time. And in that moment, both boys knew what fireworks felt like, and it was the two of them against the world.   
Liam's hand flew up, cupping Zayn's neck as he deepened the kiss, running his tongue along Zayn's bottom lip, asking for entrance. The Bradford boy complied, moaning softly as their two tongues slid together, a heated tangle of muscle, and two pairs of jeans getting increasingly tighter by the second. Zayn moved his hands down, grabbing Liam's hips and pulling them towards him, rubbing their covered members together, eliciting loud, sensual moans from both parties. The friction alone was enough for them both, as they both came simultaneously with a shout, bodies going lax at the feeling. 

As they were both coming down from their highs, there was a load knock on the bedroom door, and the shouts of Louis, Harry and Niall coming from outside it, as Liam remembered that the key can unlock the door. 

"Come on love birds, we have sound check in 5, and I think you two need to change by the sounds of it!" Louis shouted, and the other boys laughed as both Liam and Zayn turned a bright red.

The boys ran off down the hall, as Liam and Zayn finally looked at each other again, the look of ecstasy on the others face etched in their mind as they did. They lent in for another kiss, but they both pulled away after a few seconds, rolling from the bed to get changed.

"So, am I worth dumping a girl for?" Zayn asked smugly, and Liam sauntered over to him in his boxers.

"That, was the best time I've ever had, with anyone. And we haven't even done anything yet. What do you think?"

Zayn blushed, and ran his hands down Liam's toned chest.

"Well, I have to agree with you on that one. However, this body is really distracting me from changing, and we now have 3 minutes."

They both laughed, and finished getting ready, going in for one final kiss before setting off for sound check, hand in hand.


	18. Itinary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> The Itinerary for the next two weeks of the story - Not a proper chapter just to help with timings ect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this isn't a proper chapter but it will help with organisation ect. Love you all! K xxx

Hey guys, I know this isn't technically a chapter, but it will help order the story a bit in terms of dates ect. as one chapter doesn't necessarily mean one day!

 

Friday (today in the Story) -

3pm Tourbus Interview - tour around the bus

7pm - The One Show interview - interview and perform 'What Makes You Beautiful

Saturday

8am - GMT interview - interview and perform 'WMYB'

12pm - CD signing at WHS Smiths

4pm - Strictly Come Dancing rehearsals

7pm - SCD performance (to be shown on Sunday nights results show

Sunday

12pm - X Factor rehearsals

1pm - Meet contestants

8pm - Peform on X Factor - WMYB

10pm - Interview on The Xtra Factor

Monday

Tour date - O2 Arena

10am - Pick up from hotel

12pm - Arrive at arena

2pm - Sound check (100 fans)

6pm - Support act (Olly Murs)

7pm-10pm - Perform show

11pm - Leave arena - hotel arrangements attached

Tuesday

Same as Monday except pick up is at 12

Wednesday

8am - CD signing at Westfield

12pm - Arrive at O2 arena 

Same as Monday and Tuesday

Thursday

8:30 am - Radio 1 interview with Nick Grimshaw - Interview and perform WMYB - announce new single Gotta Be You

10am - Photo Shoot for Cosmopolitan - Pictures and Interview

1pm - Arrive at O2 arena

Same as previous days

Friday

Same as Tuesday

Saturday

7am - Pickup from Hotel - Travel to Nottingham

12pm - Capital FM interview - interview, sing WYMB, first radio play of 'Gotta Be You'

3pm - Book signing at Waterstones

7pm - 4Music awards

11pm - 4Music awards after party (optional)

11pm-1am - Return to hotel - Details attached

Sunday

Rest day

Monday

 

Release of Gotta Be You Single

7am - Pickup from hotel - Take all stuff

9am - CD signing at HMV Nottingham

11am - Helicopter ride to Birmingham

1pm - CD signing at HMV Birmingham

3pm - Helicopter ride to Manchester

5pm - CD signing at HMV Manchester

7pm - Tourbus ride to Glasgow, Scotland

12am - Arrive at hotel - Details on sheet

Tuesday

 

7am - Pickup from Hotel

8am - CD signing at HMV

10am - CD signing at WHSmiths

12pm - Clyde 1 Radio Interview - Interview, perform WMYB and Gotta Be You

2pm - Real Radio - Radio Interview - Interview, Perform WYMB and Gotta Be You

4pm - Arrive at Braehead Arena

5pm - Soundcheck (200 fans)

6pm - Support Act 

7pm-10pm - Perform

11pm - Leave for hotel

Wednesday

3pm - Leave hotel

4pm - Arrive at Braehead Arena

Same as Tuesday

Thursday 

Same as Wednesday

Friday

Same as Thursday except take all bags from hotel on pick-up

11pm - Tourbus to Dublin

Saturday

7am - Arrive in Dublin


	19. New Found Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Soundcheck proves eventful for the boys, and a big shock sends the boys into a frenzy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys, so this chapter is going to mess with your emotions a lot, so please don't kill me! I hope you like it!! Please, read, comment and enjoy! K xxx

Sound check was the usual routine for the boys, testing out various instruments, running over 1 full song, and then messing around with the band and making the 100 lucky fans who were inside the stadium laugh at them. There was only one difference, or three technically, but all from the same thing. The sexual tension. 

Harry and Louis were being their usual flirty selves, however the touches were lingering, the stares were more intense, and the smiles were geniune, both hearts racing every time they locked eyes. Some of the fans were Larry shippers, and were holding up signs saying "Harry loves Louis" and "Larry Stylinson forever", and both boys saw them, smiling at them, and Harry even gave a thumbs up to one of them, which got them gasping.

Liam and Zayn were all over eachother at every available moment, slinging their arms over the others shoulder, Liam carrying Zayn on his back around the stage, saying inside jokes to make the other one blush, and the other boys laughed at them. They were literally acting like two love-struck teenagers, which they were, but the boys were happy for them, and there was even a few Ziam shippers in the audience, which made them smile. It was taking all of their strength not to go over to the other and snog them, but they knew they had to keep it secret for now, and a leaked picture was the last thing they needed.

And the third example? Niall and Josh. Although they hadn't done anything remotely sexual like the other two pairings, they were very close as friends anyway, and on the tour bus, before Louis and Harry had joined them at the table, they had both admitted to being bi-sexual, and that they were both single, and ever since then, it had just sort on grown on them. Seeing the others being so carefree that they liked the same sex had given them more confidence, and now that Liam and Zayn were together, it had just spurred things along, however none of the others noticed, too caught up in their own love lives. 

By the time sound check was over, all the boys couldn't wait to get of stage, and instead of going into the back stage common room which they usually did before they had to go to hair and makeup, they all retreated to their dressing rooms, well, sort of. Liam and Zayn ended up both in Liam's, Harry and Louis both went to Louis', and Niall ended up dragging Josh into his. 

As they shut the door to Niall's dressing room, Josh turned round and pushed Niall up against the door, crushing his lips onto Niall's feverishly, Niall reacting immediately. Hands ran everywhere, both boys not knowing what to do or in fact what they were doing, only that it felt so good and so right, and that the tension was gone, only bliss was left. Niall pushed Josh away, walking over to the couch and pushing him down on that instead, locking their lips again, only ever breaking for a breath. They didn't register the door opening, or the person walking in...

Meanwhile, in Louis' dressing room, both boys were lay on the sofa, Harry's head on Louis' chest as they watched the news on the TV. Louis repeatedly ran his fingers through Harry's soft curls, and Harry drew random pictures on Louis' tummy, causing Louis to giggle occasionally. They could hear Niall and Josh in the next room, and laughed, Harry high fiving Louis as their bet came true. 

"Well, that's two happy couple in one day. I think we are going well!" Harry said.

"Yeah. I think it was just a matter of time for Niall and Josh, they've been shooting sneaky glances at each other for the last few months. And as for Liam and Zayn... Well, they just make a really cute couple!" Louis said, and both boys laughed. 

"But what about us?" Harry asked, and the laughter stopped, as Louis looked down at him.

"What about us?"

"No, nothing. It doesn't matter." Harry replied, turning his head back to the TV. 

Louis cupped Harry's chin, tilting his head back up to look at him.

"Hazza, what do you mean?"

"Lou, just leave it. It's nothing."

"Harry, please?"

"Fine. I like you. Like, as more than a friend. But it doesn't matter."

Louis laughed, and Harry pulled away, climbing off the sofa and walking over to the wardrobe, looking through the clothes for no reason. Louis got up and followed him, wrapping his arms around him from the back, pulling him against his chest, even though Harry was taller. Harry turned around in his arms, looking down at Louis.

"Well then, I think it would be the time to admit that, in fact, I like you too Harry Styles. As more than a friend"

Harry's smile appeared, and grew impossibly wide.

"You really mean that?" Harry asked, still stood in Louis' arms.

"Of course I do." Louis replied, letting go of Harry and grabbing his hand instead. 

"Well, what are we then?" Harry asked, as Louis led him back over to the sofa and they resumed into their previous position, but this time, with conjoined hands.

"Well, I think that I would like you to be my boyfriend Harry. But we have some things to sort first, don't you think? Like the things from the diary?" Louis asked, and Harry nodded against his chest, squeezing Louis's hand tighter. 

"I agree, and I think I would like that too." Harry said, and they looked at eachother and smiled, and Louis kissed Harry on his forehead, the two boys content with everything at that moment.

Over in Liam's dressing room, the door was locked, the t-shirts were strewn across the floor, and they were making over half-naked on the rug, enjoying their new found passion. They were only kissing, but the friction between them was causing a stir, and the kissing soon turned into something more. Liam broke the kiss and began sucking on Zayn's neck, getting his sweet spot and gently biting down, causing Zayn to moan rather loudly, and Liam pulled off, kissing the bright red mark that he had made of the other boy's previously unblemished skin. Zayn flipped him over, doing the same to Liam, and they both sat up afterwards, admiring the marks and the other boy's chest.

Zayn's jeans began to get increasingly tighter, and without breaking eye contact, he unbuckled his belt and slipped his hand down, closing his eyes at the contact. Liam just sat in silence, biting back a moan as Zayn threw his head back as he stroked himself. Eventually, after nearly a minute of watching him, Liam crawled across to Zayn. He grabbed Zayn's wrist and pulled his hand out, making Zayn snap his eyes open. Liam stayed calm, and with a shaking hand, he slid his own hand down Zayn's trousers, gently grasping at his hard member and slowly began stroking it, as Zayn watched him with wide eyes. Liam used his other hand to push Zayn's trousers down, and then removed his boxers, leaving him totally naked in front of him, his member springing free. Liam sat beside him for a moment, before locking eyes with Zayn. 

His eyes were full of lust and want, mirroring Liam's. Liam had a idea, but he had no idea whether Zayn would agree. Zayn noticed the change in Liam's thought process, and reached forward, grabbing his hands. 

"What is it Li? What's up?" Zayn asked.

"I... I wanted... I had an idea." Liam stuttered, breaking the eye contact and looking at the floor, nervous.

"Hey, look at me. It doesn't matter what it is, just tell me." Zayn reassured him, but Liam continued to look at the floor. 

"I thought maybe, you know. That I could maybe give you a..." Liam began, but the last two words were inaudible, as he was still too scared to say them.

"Li, babe, anything it fine with me if you are ok with it. What did you want to do?"

"I wanted to give you a blow job. To suck you off. Whatever you call it." Liam said, and Zayn nearly laughed, as his friend struggled to talk about these things.

"Well, I'm ready and waiting, if you are sure" Zayn stated, and Liam looked back up at him, eyes full of lust and want once again. 

Liam let go of Zayn's hands and crawled towards him, looking at Zayn once more for permission. Zayn nodded, and Liam gulped, not believing that he was really just about to do this. He took hold of Zayn's member into his mouth, gently sucking on the tip, unsure of what to do. Zayn moaned loudly at the suction, and grabbed Liam's hair, causing Liam to moan around his member. Liam decided that he must have been doing the right thing, and took more in, sucking a bit harder and moving up and down a little. Zayn nearly bucked into his mouth at the sensation, and came without warning into Liam's mouth, causing Liam to choke a little as he pulled off, not expecting it. 

Zayn acted upon instinct, and crushed Liam's lips to his own, tasting himself in Liam's mouth as his tongue slipped in. Zayn pushed Liam back against the mat, and went to return the favour, pulling his trousers and boxers down to reveal his hard, throbbing member, when there was a load knock at the door, and Louis and Harry burst into the room.

Zayn tried to cover Liam up, grabbing his member and turning round, however the friction caused Liam to come, moaning loudly as he split all over Zayn's hand and his chest. Louis and Harry stood there in shock, holding hands as they watched the scene unfold in front of them. Zayn moved his hand slightly, causing Liam to moan again, and Louis laughed, as Harry hid his face in his shoulder, stifling back his laughter. Zayn turned to look at Liam and away from the two intruding boys, but the look of ecstasy on Liam's face began to make him hard again, in front of the others due to his clothes being elsewhere. 

"Well, we were coming to tell you we have to be at hair and make up in 5, well technically now, however, I'll just tell them we had to wake you both up and that you will be a while. And I really wish I could unsee that" Louis said, as Harry continued to laugh into his shoulder.

Zayn turned his head to look at them again, covering himself with his other hand, blushing bright red.

"Well, I think you two can't say anything can you? I bet you were doing the same!" Zayn stated, nodding towards their conjoined hands.

"Actually, we haven't, for your information. We... are taking things slow." Louis replied, as he felt Harry stiffen against him.

"Well, I'm happy. For both of you. It's nice to see you happy for once. Now, if you don't mind, thankyou for the warning, but we would like to finish what we started, please?" Zayn asked, attempting to keep a calm voice as images from earlier entered his head, causing him to get even harder.

"It's nice to see you two happy as well, well, more than happy I'm guessing! Well don't be too long, and please wait until we are out the room!" Louis laughed, and dragged Harry from the room with him, both of them laughing as they ran to Niall's room.

They barged into the room, however Niall and Josh were no where to be seen. The light was on in the bathroom, and Louis and Harry exchanged glance, and walked silently across to the door, knocking lightly before flinging the door open. 

They were just about to shout some sexual jokes at them, but were stopped dead in their tracks when they saw what was really there. Niall was lay on the floor, with a black eye and a bleeding mouth, totally unconscious. Both boys nearly screamed at the sight, and Louis collapsed to the ground beside him, checking his pulse. 

"It's weak. It's still there, but it's weak." Louis said, his voice shaky as Harry handed him a load of tissue for the blood. 

Harry ran back to Liam and Zayn's room, where both boys were still fooling around, and barged in, not caring what they were doing. They stopped suddenly, and when they registered the shock and worry etched on Harry'spailing face, they both got up and chucked their clothes back on randomly, before following Harry from the room. They both actually screamed at the sight on Niall's lifeless body on the ground, and security came running in at the sound.

Within seconds, a million phone calls were being made, and adults came flying in and out in a blur as the four boys sat around their band mate in shock, constantly checking his pulse and breathing, scared that they were going to lose him, all arousal and concerts totally forgotten about.

Zayn then noticed a piece of paper lying next to Niall, covered in blood, and picked it up to read it. He read it out loud to the other boys.

"To Niall, never lay a finger on my boyfriend ever again, that's if you survive this treatment. Josh is mine, and mine only. He will never ever be yours, you dirty little faggot. Go shag a band mate, or some other filthy faggot. Because that's what you are. A dirty, horrible, gay. And you don't deserve to live.

Yours sincerely, 

Ellie, who if you have forgotten, is Josh's girlfriend."

The boys sat silent and shocked, realizing who had done this, and placed a hand on Niall.

"You aren't a faggot Ni. Don't worry about who you are. Stay strong" They whispered to him as the paramedics came in and carried him out, following him out to the ambulance and getting in with him, silent tears slipping down their faces as the stadium became a blur in the distance, and the only sounds were the machines keeping Niall stable and alive...


	20. Band of Brothers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> The boys arrive at the hospital...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Sorry about the shock ending without warning last time! I just wanted to shake things up a bit :) Hope you enjoy! Love you all! Please, read, comment and enjoy! K xxxx

When they arrived at the hospital, it was already mayhem outside. Due to the distance, by the time they arrived, the audience at their show had already been informed of the bad news, consequently meaning that the hospital was now swarmed with hundred's of screaming fans, most of them there to get a signature rather than because they were worried about Niall.

After nearly 10 minutes of trying to fight through the crowds, they finally reached the back entrance, where a group of nurses and doctors were ready and waiting to take care of their bandmate, who was still unconscious, however breathing. The 4 other boys followed the team closely, until they were finally stopped by the theatre doors, where they knew they couldn't go in. The windows were mirrored, meaning you couldn't see into the room, and they were ushered into a family waiting room, to wait for news on their friend.

As soon as the door was closed, they all burst into tears of worry, coming together in a group hug and holding on tightly, as if they thought that another one of them would slip away if they weren't touching them. To them, he was like a brother, and they all sought revenge on Ellie, the girl who had done this to their friend.

They hadn't know about Josh and Niall, probably due to the fact that they were all too wrapped up in their own love affairs. However, they did know that it wasn't his fault, as they could all vaguely remember the story about Josh and Ellie, and their breakup. They had been going out for 2 months when the tour kicked off again, and Ellie got annoyed at the amount of time she would have to wait in order to see Josh again. He invited her to tour with them for a week, but she was constantly bored and was all over Josh when he was trying to rehearse. After a week from hell, he had finally dumped her, but the menacing look in her eye when he did so said it all, as if she was going to take revenge. And this is how she had carried it out. By stopping him from being happy with anyone else.

Which also begged the question... If she had come in and seen Niall, and had beaten him up... Then where was Josh?

Just then, there was a small knock on the door, and in entered Paul followed by a familiar face whom they all rushed to go and see. Josh. His face was bruised, he had his arm in a sling, and he was clutching his stomach tightly, and they gently led him over to the sofa and laid him down, sitting around him as Paul left the room.

"Guys, I'm so so sorry about Niall. I have no idea what she was thinking. I tried to stop her, I promise. But she locked me in the cupboard and gagged him. Paul found me when he came to get Niall's stuff. She beat me up before she left so that I wouldn't tell, but I needed you to know I never meant for this to happen."

Josh finally took a breath, and the boys shuffled closer.

"Josh, mate, we know. She left a note explaining why, in fact, we were just worrying where you were. Don't worry, we know it was none of your fault" Liam reassured him, and pulled him in for a gentle hug.

"Where's Niall? Is he ok?" Josh asked, wincing at the pain as he tried to sit up.

"He's in theatre at the moment. He was unconscious but breathing when we found him. Hopefully, if he recovers later then we can go and see him" Louis said, sitting down beside Liam on the couch.

"Don't you need to go and get yourself checked out? You seem in a pretty bad way" Zayn said, and Josh nodded, wincing again as the pain hit him hard.

"Well, me and Zayn will go and take you then ok? And Harry and Louis can stay here and wait for news on Niall" Liam said, standing up as the others nodded in agreement.

Liam and Zayn carefully helped him up and carried him from the room, leaving Harry and Louis on their own again.

When the door was closed, the two boys collapsed onto the nearest sofa, Louis resting his head on Harry's chest as he carded his fingers through his hair gently. Louis decided to test the waters, and turned his head to face Harry, who was focused on some part of the opposite wall in deep thought.

"Harry, babe, can we talk?" Louis asked quietly, trying not to startle Harry from his thoughts.

Harry broke off his gaze and looked down at the elder boy.

"Erm, sure Lou, what do you want to talk about?" Harry asked, but deep down he knew exactly what Louis wanted to know.

"Well, the diary, sort of. I've read up until the first day of touring, but apart from you admitting you had a crush on me, which we seem to have solved ourselves anyway, I can't see any reason as yet to why you acted like you did." Louis said, keeping still on Harry's chest as his breathing deepened and his heart beat sped up.

"I... It's complicated Lou. I wrote it down because it's not something I find easy to talk about. I wanted to tell you, I was always going to tell you. I just could never find the right words to say to you."

Louis moved from Harry's chest and turned so he was sat on his knee, face to face with Harry.

"Harry, love, it's fine. Just take your time."

"I.... It was because of last time."

"Last time?" Louis questioned.

"Yes, back when..."

Just then, the door flung open, and Paul stood there, a beaming smile on his face.

"Boys, come on, Niall's awake!" He said, and Harry and Louis immediately jumped up, running towards the door to follow Paul. 

When they reached Niall's room, they practically collapsed through the door in excitement, and the sight they saw made them nearly collapse with laughter.

Niall was sat with a Nandos meal on his lap, stuffing his face as if nothing had ever happened. When he saw the boys, he shoved the last piece of chicken in his mouth, before putting the box down on the side, opening his arms so that his band mates could slide into them.

"Niall, thank god you are ok!" Harry said, kissing the blonde's forehead as he snuggled up to his left side.

"We thought we had lost you! Never scare us like that again!" Louis exclaimed dramatically before sliding into Niall's other side.

Niall laughed at his over-protective bandmates, as he pulled them closer in.

"I take it you missed me then?" Niall joked, and Louis nearly punched him playfully.

"Niall, we walked in to find you unconscious and bleeding. How do you think we felt?" Louis said, and Niall's smile dropped as he realized just how they must have felt.

"I'm sorry, I forgot how it must have been for you guys. I'm sorry I got us into this mess." Niall replied, his eyes watering up.

"Hey, Ni, don't cry. We don't blame you at all." Harry said, swiping his thumb across Niall's cheek to wipe away a tear.

"But it is my fault. If I wouldn't have kissed Josh, then we wouldn't be here now." He replied, as a sob racked his body.

"Niall, Ellie left a note. We know exactly what happened. This is because of her not you. Josh and her broke up ages ago, she was just being a jealous... idiot." Louis said, and both Harry and Niall laughed at Louis' attempt not to swear.

"Well, I'm glad I don't have to explain it all then" Niall said, and Harry pinched him in the side.

"Yes you do! What the hell did she do to you?" Harry exclaimed, and Niall laughed again, which made the other boys smile.

"Ok, ok! Well, me and Josh were.. erm..." Niall began.

"Making out?" Added Louis, and Niall blushed, always being the modest naive one.

"Yeah that. And then, suddenly, Josh was being shoved off of me, and the next thing I know, Ellie was dragging me to the bathroom. She just kept punching and kicking me, saying that I was worthless and a poor excuse for a human being. Josh tried to pull her away but she started on him as well then. Josh ran off to get security, and that's when I blacked out."

Niall took in a deep breath, but then worry sketched his face.

"Where's Josh?" He asked, worriedly.

"Don't worry Ni, he's here and he's safe. A bit banged up but safe." Louis replied, and Niall relaxed visibly in his arms.

"Where is he now?" Niall asked.

"He's with Liam and Zayn, getting cleaned up. He'll be coming soon enough" Harry said, and as if on cue, the door swung open again, and the 3 boys rushed into the room, all leaping straight onto the bed.

"Niall, you're awake!" Zayn shouted, as Harry moved off to let Zayn cuddle Niall.

"God Ni, we were so worried about you!" Liam said, as he replaced Louis on his other side. 

"Aww, thanks guys. I missed you too!" Niall said in a baby like voice, and they all laughed, as Josh carefully perched himself on the edge of the bed.

"Don't worry Ni, Josh explained everything to us. It's not your fault." Zayn said, and Niall leaned into him, sending a small smile Josh's way.

"Oh, and also, security caught Ellie before she left the building. She's being charged with two cases of assult. There's no trial because they caught it all on CCTV." Liam said, and Niall breathed a sigh of relief, before looking Josh's way and going bright red.

"Wait, they have CCTV in those rooms?" Niall exclaimed, and all 6 boys suddenly stopped, realizing that they would've all been caught.

"Don't worry" Paul said, from his seat in the corner, making the other boys jump.

"God you made me jump Paul!" Niall said, as Paul walked over to give Niall a hug, the other boys moving from the bed except from Josh.

"The CCTV footage of you guys doing... whatever... has been deleted from the systems. The only bit they have kept is of Ellie's attack, which yes, does catch you and Josh kissing, however, only for about 2 seconds. "

All 6 boys sighed in relief, and Josh looked up at Niall and smiled.

"How long do you have to stay in for?" Asked Liam, and Niall shrugged his shoulders, looking at Paul.

"It's a good job I was listening then! He can come home now, if he wishes to. He has no major injury, just a bit of bruising. He will have to have a quick check over before we take him, but other than that, he's good to go" Paul replied, and all the boys cheered, rushing over to the bed and jumping on Niall.

"Hey! Careful! I do still have bruised ribs!" Niall laughed, as they all smothered him in a tangle of arms and legs.

"Well then, I'll go and inform the nurses you want to leave. Boys, fancy coming down for something to eat?" He asked, and they all nodded eagerly, rolling from the bed one by one and rushing to the door, except from Josh.

"I ate on the way here, so I'm good thanks" Josh replied, and they all smirked at him, knowing exactly why he wanted to stop.

"Sure you don't want anything bringing up?" Asked Liam, and he shook his head.

They all left the room with a quick wave behind them, arguing about which sandwich they wanted to get, leaving Niall and Josh alone at last. Josh quickly moved up the bed and rested into Niall's side, gently kissing the side of his neck which caused shivers of arousal to go through Niall's body.

"God Josh, I'm so sorry I ruined everything earlier." Niall said, and Josh stopped, tilting his head so that he was facing Niall.

"Niall, stop blaming yourself. It was my psycho ex girlfriend that did this, so if it's either of our two's fault then it's mine." Josh said, before placing his lips on Niall's.

The kiss was soft and gentle, no battle for dominance like there was earlier. Josh's arms came up to wrap around Niall's neck, and Niall grabbed Josh's back, creasing his T-shirt. Both boys were beginning to become hard, images from their rendezvous earlier coming back to their minds. The kiss soon became passionate, tongues delving it, wrapping around each other like snakes, pulling them both in deeper. 

They were interrupted by a knock on the door, as a young female nurse walked in, whom Niall immediately recognized as his nurse from earlier. Both boys were bright red and gasping for air, but Josh stayed by Niall's side, holding his hand while he was checked over.

"Well sir, you are free to go. Enjoy your day" The nurse said, and both boys cheered. 

Niall slid out of the bed and went over to the bag that Paul had brought for him, rummaging through for some clean clothes. Josh watched him with intent as he slipped off the hospital gown, revealing his toned body underneath. 

"Like what you see?" Niall teased as he caught Josh staring.

"Mmm, very much so" Josh replied, resisting the urge to go over and tackle Niall to the ground and ravage him there and then.

"Well, maybe you can stay with me tonight in the hotel" Niall said, and Josh's light up like a child's on Christmas day.

"You... You wanted me to spend the night with you?" He asked nervously, worried in case Niall was joking. 

"Well, makes sense doesn't it? I'm always in a double, and the other boys pair up anyway, so I can't see any problem" Niall said, and this time Josh did run over, crushing Niall into an extremely tight hug, causing Niall to gasp in pain as he pushed against his bruised ribs.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Ni!" Josh exclaimed, letting go as Niall regained his breath.

"Josh, it's fine! Stop apologizing! I forgot about them myself anyway" Niall said, as he continued to get dressed, wiggling his bum teasingly at Josh as he pulled up his tight jeans.

"Keep teasing me like that, and we won't make it to the hotel room" Josh moaned, trying to move his gaze away from his teasing boyfriend... But, wait... they weren't technically dating, Josh realized.

"Erm, Niall? What are we exactly?" Josh asked nervously, as Niall pulled his sweatshirt on.

"Well, what do you want to be?" Niall asked, turning to face Josh as he zipped up his bag.

"Friends? Boyfriends? Lovers?" Josh questioned, and Niall laughed, walking towards him and getting down on one knee, taking Josh's hand in his own.

"Josh Devine, would you please do me the greatest honour of becoming my boyfriend?" Niall asked cheekily, unable to keep the smile off his face.

"Yes, Niall Horan, I would be honoured to" Josh replied, pulling Niall up and kissing him hard, unaware of the rest of the group entering the room.

"Awwww" The other boys chorused, making the two boys jump at the unexpected noise.

"Well, that's 3 official couple's now then!" Harry cheered, taking Louis' hand in his own and glancing back at Liam and Zayn, who were smiling happily.

They all came together in a big group hug, the 6 boys finally happy and together, for now. 

"Last couple to the car are the losers!" Shouted Zayn, pulling Liam from the hug and heading for the door.

"Hey that's cheating!" Shouted Harry, as he grabbed Louis and ran after Zayn and Liam.

"Well, leave the injured pair behind then!" Josh moaned, before laughing as they grabbing Niall's suitcases and sprinted after the others.

Never the less, it goes without saying that there wasn't much talking going on during the ride back to the hotel, the front blackout screen firmly down separating the three couple from Paul, who chuckled quietly at his boys' antics, glad that they were all finally happy for once, even if it was only in this moment. He knew the second that he came within 3 metres of the hotel that this wasn't going to be easy....


	21. Hysteria Hotel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> The boys return to the hotel, but the fans beat them to it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry about the delay, school work is being hell at the moment! Anyway, hope you enjoy, and 1D are on X - Factor tonight!!! Love you all! Please, read, comment and enjoy! K xxx
> 
> Ps, if you have any suggestions for a story ect, feel free to message me!

The hotel was swarmed with people, cameras flashing everywhere, screaming girls clambering and clinging to the tour bus, microphones being spoken into all around the vehicle. Security guards were randomly dotted around in order to attempt to control the chaos, but to no avail, as the crowd fought for a glimpse of the band in the back of the car, only to be met with mirror reflecting windows and Paul's stony face in the front. 

The 3 couples all broke apart at the noise, and looked through the one-way windows to get a glimpse of the hysteria. Harry pulled out his phone and checked Twitter, and his timeline was filled with pictures of the car they were in, taken by some of the fans outside, surrounded by hundreds of people, with the destined hotel a few metres in front of them. The tour bus travelled behind them with the rest of the tour gang in there, also surrounded by girls, however not as many, figuring they knew they must be in the car.

The boys shot eachother worried looks, it was the first time that Josh had ever had to experience the hotel mayhem, and unfortunately for him, this was probably the worse case of it so far. Niall pulled him into his lap, and the boys huddled together. Harry glanced out of the window again, before leaning towards the black out screen.

"Paul... " Harry said through the screen, knowing better than to lift it up and give the fans a glimpse.

"Yes Harry?" Paul replied, leaning close to the screen so he could hear him.

"How long to you think we will be stuck? And why so many reporters?" Harry asked, and the others also moved towards him, eager to know an answer.

"Well, it's certainly the worst it's ever been, and security aren't exactly doing anything at all to help. So honestly, it could be hours before we actually get inside. As for the hysteria, it looks like all the fans from outside the BBC studios are still eager to see a glimpse of you tonight, even though we have given them all tickets to your extra gig." Paul said calmly, frantically trying to look for a gap in the crowd.

The boys all gave confused looks to the "extra gig" part, looking to eachother for answers to no avail.

"Erm, Paul? What extra gig?" Harry asked, speaking the question on all of their minds.

"Oh yeah. Forgot to mention that. Management have added another date to the tour so that all the fans that were outside tonight could still come and see you. The fans were refusing to leave, the interview was going to be broadcast on the big TV screens outside, so they were distraught when they didn't get to see it. When the news was broken to them, they went crazy, and news was leaked about where you were staying. They've been here for around 3 hours, and the tickets were given out to try to get them to leave. Unfortunately, it didn't exactly work as planned."

The boys all sighed, knowing exactly what their fans were like, how obsessive they could be at times. Louis leaned forwards to kneel next to Harry, and wrapped an arm around his waist.

"So, when exactly is this extra date being fitted it?" Louis asked, worried.

"Yeah, about that... It's next Sunday." Paul answered, and all the boys gasped.

"Paul! That's like our only day off for the next two months! They can't do that! The stress will kill us!" Shouted Liam, and Zayn pulled him close, trying to calm his boyfriend's nerves, even though he was just as angry himself.

"Hey! Don't shoot the messenger Liam. I've tried to reason with them about that, but what's done is done. The fans will be there, and they are expecting you to perform. That's what I got told, and I can't do anything about it" Paul shouted back, and Zayn held Liam tighter, running his fingers through Liam's short hair in an attempt to calm him.

All the boys went back to their seats, the couples together, holding onto eachother as they processed the news. The rest days were few and far between, and were usually spent relaxing or stuffing their faces, building up energy for the inevitable early morning start the next day. This really wasn't what they needed now, but they had no control anymore. 

Finally, the car started moving again, and a quick glance out of the windows showed a sea of new police officers lining the street, holding the fans back. As they pulled into the underground car park with the tour bus close behind, the security gates were locked shut behind them, holding them in and keeping the rest out. 

As they clambered from the car, the noise from outside nearly deafened them, the fans still screaming and shouting, hoping for a glimpse. They all gathered in a circle, waiting for Paul with the room keys, as he finally got out, grabbing their bags from the boot and passing them to them. 

"You guys can say a quick hello from the 3rd floor balcony if you wish, just to settle them. Your rooms are on the 5th floor, and ours are on the 6th. We leave for the ITV studios at 7, so be up, dressed, fed and ready for then. Here's your room keys. Good night boys, sleep well, and I'll see you in the morning" Said Paul, as he locked the car and grabbed his own bags, passing the room keys to Liam as he walked by them towards the lift.

Somehow, they all managed to fit inside the small lift, and the boys left Paul in the elevator as it reached the 5th floor, shouting goodbye over their shoulders as they exited the lift and ran towards their rooms. Liam handed out the sets of room keys, checking the numbers, before they all put their bags down and came together in a group hug.

"Right, we all have a set of keys to each room in case of emergency as always, and so does Paul. I'll come wake you guys up at 6, if you aren't already, ok?" Said Liam, and they all nodded tiredly, knowing that if he didn't, they would more than likely be late.

"As we have an interview, I suggest we keep things relatively calm and clean tonight boys" Liam continued, and they all moaned dramatically, with Zayn giving Liam the bottom lip

"But Liam.... " Zayn moaned, making them all laugh as Zayn did his best puppy dog eyes impression to his boyfriend.

"Zayn...." Liam mocked back in the same voice.

"Hey, you two are the only one's that needed warning here Li, the rest of us have only got together today!" Said Louis, and they all shot the pouting couple accusing looks, making them blush.

"Yeah, so did we!" Argued Zayn.

"Yes, but apparently you couldn't even make it 3 hours before destroying each other in the dressing room like you had been together a year" Harry said, making them blush further, and Liam hid his head in Zayn's chest.

"Look, we've wasted.." Josh began, with a quick glance at his watch, "15 minutes arguing about pointless things, and to be quite frank, I just want to get to bed!" 

The rest agreed, coming out of the circle and grabbing their bags, before choosing a room.

"Hey, are we gonna go calm our fans?" Niall asked, before they reached the rooms, and as the hallway fell silent, the loud cheers from outside could still be heard.

"Yeah, I guess we must. Meet at the 3rd floor in 10?" Zayn said, and they all agreed, finally getting into their rooms.

10 minutes later, the 6 boys and Paul, whom Liam had texted to tell him, were gathered in the 3rd floor lounge, the lights off so that the fans couldn't see them, stood at the door to the balcony. They fiddled with the multiple locks, before sliding open the doors, bracing themselves as Paul flicked on the lights, and the screaming heightened to a near unbearable level. The 5 boys took a deep breath, and held hands, before walking out onto the balcony. 

Josh stayed inside, not wanting the attention to be on him, and stood by Paul, who had just handed a megaphone to Harry. 

"Not joining them?" Paul questioned, and Josh shook him head, his attention on Niall as he waved to the fans.

"I don't think it's my place. I'm just the drummer. They are the stars that the fans want to see. Not me or Dan or the rest of the players." Josh said, turning away from the window and looking around the room.

"Josh, that's not true. The fans, yeah they love the singing, but where would they be without you guys? You are just as good as them" Paul replied, slinging his arm around Josh as Niall came in from the balcony and walked towards Josh.

"Wanna come and join us?" Niall asked, hugging Josh and giving him a quick kiss in the forehead.

"Nah, it's not my place" Josh repeated, as Paul rolled his eyes and Niall laughed.

"Josh, don't talk so ridiculous! You are just as good as us, and the fans are dying to see you" Niall replied, and Paul laughed, Niall practically repeating his words from earlier.

"Well, if you are sure then." Josh said hesitantly, and Niall laughed again, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the balcony.

Harry turned round and saw them, smiling widely before speaking through the megaphone again.

"And now, give it up for the wonderful, amazing, Josh Devine, our drummer!" Harry said, and the crowd went wild as Niall pushed him onto the balcony and stood beside him, Josh shaking from nervousness.

Josh couldn't believe the support the fans gave him, and after the nerves died, he smiled widely, basking in the attention.

"Oh my, I never thought staying at a hotel caused this much hysteria" Josh muttered.

"Well, that's celebrity life for you" Louis replied, as the fans continued to scream and shout.

"Right guys, we have to go and sleep now. Thankyou for all your support, and we are sorry about tonight. Catch us on GMTV tomorrow, we love you all!" Harry shouted, and the screaming got louder as the boys retreated inside, sliding the door shut and locking it behind them.

"Enjoy that then Josh?" Zayn asked, and Josh nodded, his ears still ringing from the noise.

"Come on boys, sleep time now" Liam said in authority, and Paul laughed as the others groaned, as they retreated back to the lift.

They reached their rooms, said their goodnights, and shut the doors behind them. Needless to say, they all slept well that night, each wrapped in their respective lover's arms, just enjoying the peace, quiet and closeness to them. 

Josh and Niall kissed for a while, before undressing and falling into bed, tracing eachother's wounds and kissing them better, before falling asleep, limbs tangled under the covers.

Liam and Zayn finished what they started earlier, giving eachother blow jobs in the shower before cleaning up and collapsing into bed, Liam setting the alarms before cuddling up to Zayn and falling asleep, head on his chest and hands entwined.

And finally, Louis and Harry. They hadn't yet kissed, and were still wary of pushing the boundaries, however living together meant they had seen eachother naked, so they undressed and showered, admiring the other's body as they did so. After drying, they crawled into bed, facing eachother, tracing the outlines of the other's muscles, watching as they flexed under the touch. After a few moments, they entwined their hands, and they both moved towards eachother.

The second their lips met, fireworks went off before them. It was just a simple, closed mouth kiss, but they both ended up getting hard from it, their erections touching as they moved closer. Harry let his hands slide behind Louis' neck, and Louis copied his action, pressing them harder together. The friction between them alone made them both orgasm simultaneously, coming up their chest and over the sheets, moaned loudly into eachother's mouth as they reached their highs. 

When they brok apart and cleaned up, they stripped the sheet and they crawled back in, resuming their original position. No words were said, as Louis gave Harry another lingering kiss, before cuddling up to him and falling asleep.

Finally, they were sleeping together, and he could actually sleep, Harry's going to be ok, was Louis last thought as he drifted off in Harry's arms, to the sound of Harry's soft snores.


	22. A Beautiful Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> How long does it take for 6 boys to get ready in a morning?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and good evening! Here is a new chapter for you, I was going to make it longer but otherwsie it won't be done for another 3-4 days :/ Anyway, hope you enjoy! Please, read comment and enjoy! Love you all! K xxx

As the morning sun rose, Liam's alarm rung out loudly, waking him up abruptly. Usually, this was the part where he got in a mood as he had to wake up his fellow lazy bandmates, however, the sight he opened up his eyes to immediately washed away any bad feelings and annoyance, and actually made him happy to have woken up. Zayn was curled up beside him, his head lolling on Liam's chest, snoring soundly as the rays of sun painted strips of light over his bare back, revealing the beautiful toned muscles underneath, and highlighting his lovely tanned skin. 

Liam really wanted to stay in bed, and just admire his beautiful boyfriend. And so he did, for a few minutes. Boyfriend. The thought made him smile widely. Just less than a week ago, they had been at eachothers throats, and yet, here they were now, happy together. Liam slid an arm out from under the covers and traced Zayn's back muscles, feeling every rise and dint, committing them to memory, even though he would no doubt do it many more times over the years, well, he hoped he would anyway. 

Zayn stirred slightly on his stomach, and Liam broke out of his trance and re-registered the continuous ringing of his alarm blaring next to him. With a sigh, he leaned down, kissing the other boy lightly on the forehead, before carefully sliding out from underneath him, shifting him so he was lay against the pillows before reaching back over to shut off the alarm. Giving Zayn another quick peck, he decided to leave waking him up until he had dragged all the other boys out of their slumbers. He grabbed the set of room keys, and walked from the room, deciding he would attempt to wake up Niall and Josh first.

As he approached the room, he registered a sweet singing voice coming from inside, and also the sound of snoring, but let himself in anyway. Funnily enough, he walked in to the sight of Josh, snoring very loudly, sprawled across the whole bed diagonally, and he laughed, the thought of "he's worse than us!" coming to mind. He turned his head around to the sound of the singing, to be faced with the sight of Niall, shaving his face in the bathroom middle, a towel hung low around his waist, and his wet hair plastered to his face. 

"Wow, you are actually awake Niall? Or am I dreaming?" Liam joked, walking towards Niall.

Niall jumped at the sound, having not heard Liam come in over his singing, and dropped the razor in the sink.

"God Li, you scared me!" Niall said, picking the razor up and rinsing it, before putting it back in his wash bag.

"You scared me! You are never up at this time!" Liam replied, opening his arms to give Niall a hug, which he obliged to.

"Ha, yeah. It's not technically by choice though. Josh kinda moves a lot in his sleep, and about 5:30 he ended up kicking me out of bed, which is how he is lay now! Oh, and he snores a lot!" Niall moaned, however the glee and happiness in his voice came through strong, showing just how happy he was currently.

"Well, you were the one that asked him to room with you, so you only have yourself to blame!" Liam replied, letting go of Niall as he went to get dressed.

"Nah, I think I can cope with getting up on time if I get to spend more time with him. I think it was the best night's sleep I've had in ages!" Niall said, looking fondly at the snoring boy on the bed as he slipped on a white T-shirt.

"Aww, little Niall's in love! Cute!" Liam teased, walking over and pinching Niall's cheeks, to which Niall blushed, burying his head in Liam's chest.

"Yeah, yeah I think I am." Niall smiled, pulling away to pull on his pants and jeans.

"Well, I'm happy for you. You two make a cute couple. How's your ribs?" Liam asked, as he caught a glimpse of one of them.

"They're alright actually, I don't really notice them. And thanks, I'm happy for you and Zayn too. Speaking of which, where is your lovely man?" Niall replied.

"I'm glad. Thanks. Erm, doing exactly the same as yours is, lay in bed, however the snoring isn't anywhere near as bad!" Liam joked.

"Typical Zayn. " Niall said, clicking his watch in place before glancing at the time.

"Damn, Liam, It's half 6!" Niall shouted, and Liam jumped, realizing what Niall was meaning.

"Shit, I haven't even been in to see Louis and Harry yet!" Liam panicked, running over to the bed.

"Liam, leave Josh to me. You go wake the others, chuck water over them if you have to. I'll meet you in the cafe" Niall replied, and Liam agreed, running from the room.

As he approached Louis and Harry's room, all he heard was snoring, and he sighed, knowing how difficult they could be. He swiped the key, and swung the door open, revealing two snoring boys, wrapped up tightly in eachother's arms, practically clinging onto eachother for dear life. Liam smiled fondly for a minute, snapping a picture of them on his phone, before remembering what he was actually supposed to be doing. He decided to try a different technique, and launched himself on top of them on the bed, causing them both to wake up.

"Liam! What the hell was that for?!" Harry moaned, rubbing his eyes and glaring at Liam, who had slid from the bed.

"It's 6:30, and we have half an hour before we leave. Is that a good enough reason?" Liam replied, trying to sound authoritative.

"Shit, damn, I thought you were going to wake us up at 6!" Louis said, copying Harry's actions.

"Yeah, well, you should use your own alarms!" Liam retorted, laughing as Louis stumbled for the bed.

"But I would never wake up to it! Plus, you are our alarm, we rely on you Daddy Directioner" Harry said, as he followed Louis to the bathroom.

"Point. Anyway, enough arguing, you are both up now so it worked. I'll see you down in the cafe, I have to go drag Zayn up" Liam said, sighing as he turned to leave the room.

"Haha, good luck with that!" Both boys shouted, and Liam laughed, knowing he needed it as he left the room and returned to his own, unlocking the door before slipping inside.

He flicked on the light, ready to wake up Zayn, when he realized the bed was empty. He panicked, even though he knew Zayn would be fine. Just then, two hands wrapped around his waist and pulled him back.

"Boo!" shouted Zayn, scaring the life out of Liam, which made him collapse onto Liam's shoulder in laughter.

"God dammit Ze! You scared me!" Liam breathed, as he tried to calm his erratic heartbeat.

"Ha, you should've seen your face! Priceless!" Zayn shouted, laughing loudly into Liam's ear.

"Well, you would've been the same!" Liam replied, turning round in his boyfriends arms, punching him lightly in the chest.

"Didn't expect me to be awake?" Zayn smirked, pulling Liam closer to his chest.

"No! You are never up on time! It was weird not seeing you curled up in bed when I walked back in! Mind you, Niall was as well, so it's been a strange morning!" Liam replied, hugging Zayn back, who he now registered, was already washed, dressed and ready. 

"Thought I'd save you a job. You were gone 40 minutes, I guessed you didn't need another 15 minutes trying to wake me up when we have to be off." Zayn replied, pointing to the bed, where he had laid out a set of clothes for Liam.

"Sorry babe, I didn't realize I had gone that long! Aww thankyou, did you choose these jeans for any particular reason?" Liam asked, letting go of Zayn and walking over to the bed, examining the clothes.

"Hmm, slim figure hugging black jeans... No of course not!" Zayn blushed, making Liam laugh.

"Well, maybe this will help you think of a reason why" Liam smirked back, slipping on the clean pair of boxers and pulling the jeans up his legs, sticking his bum out teasingly to give Zayn a perfect view.

Zayn licked his lips discreetly, however Liam still caught it and blushed, knowing that it was because of him. He walked to the bathroom topless, slowly making a show of brushing his teeth, dancing and shaking his hips in front of Zayn.

"Babe, as much as I am loving your little show, it's now 6:50, and neither of us have eaten yet" Zayn said, causing Liam to hurry up.

Liam slipped the T-shirt Zayn had chosen over his head, grabbed his phone, wallet and room keys, slipped his shoes on, and then linked arms with Zayn, giving him a quick kiss, before they left the room to join the other boys downstairs.

To say the hotel breakfast bar was totally packed, it took all of 2 seconds to figure out which table their fellow bandmates were sat at. Harry and Louis were on one side of the table, with Josh and Niall on the other, and they were having... despite their age... a food fight....!

Louis had a bowl of cornflakes, chucking them at everyone. Harry had a bowl of coco pops, and was proceeding to suck them up through a straw and shoot them at Niall and Josh. Niall had a baguette, and was chucking pieces of bread everywhere. And Josh? Well, he had a tomato ketchup squirter, and was currently pointing it at everyone, however luckily, it didn't look like he had actually used it yet.

Liam and Zayn couldn't help it. As much as it was embarrassing, they practically collapsed to the floor with laughter. The whole restaurant was filing them and cheering them on, the food fight not annoying the people, as they filmed the whole thing on their phones, which they were sure would end up on every social media sight within a few minutes. Liam and Zayn managed to make it to the table, and within seconds they were in it too, however they were just being aimed at, as they had no amo.

After about 5 minutes of food fighting chaos, some of the laughter in the place stopped, causing the boys to look up mid throw. Paul had just walked in. Liam quickly check his watch. 7:05. Oops?!

"Ok, boys, come on. Seriously? How old are you?" Paul asked, as the boys put down their food and took a look at eachother, just realizing what a mess they were all in.

"Right, when we get back tonight, you will go and apologize, right?" He said, and they nodded, grabbing their coats and sliding from their seats.

They all turned to leave, when someone shouted them, and they all turned around. It was the hotel manageress. Liam gulped and took a step forward, ready to explain.

"Ma'am, I'm... No, we are all very sorry for the mess we've made. I promise we would clear it up if we had time, and we will do anything to pay you back." Liam said, as he gulped audibly.

"Boys, I'm not here to have a go. Actually, I'm here to thank you. My daughter, she is a massive fan, and literally you have just made her day by doing what you just did" The manageress replied, beaming widely.

"Wait, really? How?" Niall said, voicing the question on all their minds.

"Well, firstly. she got to see you in person. And secondly, you proved to her that you are just 5 normal boys. You are so down to earth, it's magical how you can be so relaxed with a job like yours." She replied, and they all smiled, glad that someone saw them for who they were.

"Well, that's what we are. The cameras only see what they want to see, the professional side. We are here for a few more days, you can bring her to meet us if you like?" Zayn said, smiling.

"Oh,boys, really? You would do that?" She gasped in delight.

"Yes, we would love to. Then she can get to see what we are like normally, without a food fight" Harry replied.

"Oh thankyou thankyou thankyou! You have no idea what this will mean to her." She said, running forward to shake their hands, which turned into a group hug.

"Don't worry about it. After all, we are stopping in your hotel and taking up two entire floors! Anyway, we must dash, or we will be late for the interview. Plus, we kinda need to get cleaned up as well" Louis said, letting go.

"Ok then boys, have fun!" She shouted after them, and they waved back as they walked to the car outside.

Next stop - ITV Studios!


	23. What Fame Brings - Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Its interview time, but can the boys handle the evergrowing problems that fame brings? Part 1 of 2 :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Like I say at the end of the chapter, I apologise profusely for taking so long to update, Christmas has just been hectic as it always is! So, here's an extra long chapter, practically double the length of any of my others, and its only part 1! So please, read, enjoy, kudos and comment, as you inspire me to write! Oh, and also, please chuoas well :) Thankyou! Love you all! K xxx
> 
> I have dedicated this to the amazing @sherlocksweetheart (http://www.wattpad.com/user/sherlocksweetheart) aka the author of Modest Temptations (http://www.wattpad.com/story/8872538-modest-temptations-book-2-larry-stylinson-au), Modest Secrets (http://www.wattpad.com/story/7605164-modest-secrets-larry-stylinson-au) and Modest Delusions (http://www.wattpad.com/32310594-modest-delusions-book-3-larry-stylinson-au) (all of which I recommend you read, because they are amazing! They are Larry Stylinson AU 's) because she is the one who gave me the idea to write and publish my stories :) so Thankyou :)

When the boys arrived at the ITV studios, they only had 15 minutes until they were on, and they were rushed straight into their separate dressing rooms to get prepared for the show. They all ended up changing their food covered clothes, and had to have their hair washed, so by the time they were all ready, they had about a minute until they would be called. Josh joined Paul at the side of the stage, not part of the interview, and watched as the boys did their pre-show ritual to calm themselves. 

"Erm, guys? I've just remembered something..." Harry said during their hand shake.

"What Haz?" Liam asked, as they let go.

"Well, what questions do we always get asked?" Harry replied, running his hand through his hair.

"The album questions, funny things, relationshi.... " Zayn answered before they all clicked onto what Harry was saying. 

"What are we going to say? Noone knows Liam and Sophia or Louis and Eleanor have broken up yet, and we have only been together like, what, a day?" Zayn said, as worried looks plastered their faces.

They heard the presenters voice booming from stage announcing them, and they gulped, not knowing what to do.

"I say, me and you, Lou, we announce about our breakups. But as far as us guys go.." Liam said, signalling between the 3 couples as Josh had come to quickly give Niall a hug, " Let's keep it a secret for now. Ok?" 

The other boys nodded and hugged, before their ear pieces buzzed to life, signalling their approach to stage, and they forced on smiles, running up the steps to the stage to the uproarious noise of screaming fan girls, and the backing track on WMYB. They took their usual order on the sofa, Liam, Niall, Zayn, Harry and then Louis, and smiled, facing towards the interviewer. When the noise died down, the presenter turned to them, and started speaking.

"Thankyou thankyou. So then, here you are! The world's newest hottest boyband One Direction! Just think, this time last year, things were so much different!" The presenter, who they recognized as Ben Shepherd, said, trying to equally look between all the boys.

The crowd went wild again, and the boys laughed, still not totally used to just how crazy their fans were.

"What's been the biggest change for all of you? Liam? I mean, it was your second shot at success" Ben asked, all eyes turned to Liam.

"For me? Well, I suppose firstly, I never expected to be famous. When I, as you said, came back for the second time after getting so close last time, the last thing I expected was that I would end up in a band. I never imagined working like that. But, you know what, I wouldn't change it for the world. I honestly think that I enjoy this a lot more than I would've enjoyed being a solo artist. And I have made 4 fantastic best mates from it as well." Liam replied, earning aww's from the audience and the boys to all reach over and hug him.

"Aww, it's that sweet. What about you, Zayn?" He asked.

"Well, actually doing something instead of sitting at home all day really! I never even had a passport before I joined the band, which proves just how boring I was before. It's lovely to see different countries and travel. I wouldn't change it for the world." Zayn replied, smiling hugely.

"Yeah, that's true. And what about the rest of you? Niall? Harry? Louis?"

"Being away from home. I never used to go anywhere." Niall replied, and they all laughed.

"I think I'm the same really. Travelling, leaving home, the fame. It's magical!" Louis said, smiling like a child on Christmas Day.

"Well, I'm going to be different then, and say learning more about myself. It's strange how much you notcied when you are living with 4 other boys the same, well similar age to yourself." Harry said, and Louis nearly blushed.

"Yes, yes, I agree with all your answers. So then, who's single?" He asked, and they all tensed, hoping that they didn't give anything away.

"Well, I've got a felling, correct me if I'm wrong boys, but we are all single right now aren't we?" Zayn said, saving the day.

The others nodded, trying to keep a straight face.

"Oh really? What about Danielle, Liam? And Eleanor, Louis?" He probed, and they both gulped audibly.

"Erm, well, me and Dani decided that it wasn't working, we are still good friends though" Liam replied, turning to Louis.

"Yeah, me and El just thought it was better as friends, we still talk" Louis said bluntly. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry for asking, I didn't realize!" He gasped.

"No, no, it's fine. They are both very recent break ups, hence why noone knows yet, but yes, indeed, all 5 of all are now free men!" Louis said, managing to pull the lie off as the audience screamed.

"Ah, well you heard that here first girls! They are all back on the market! Go grab your guy!" Ben joked as the audience continued to go wild.

"Now, about your first album" He continued as the crowd settled down. " What are your favourite songs from it and why?"

"Mine, I think, will have to be Up All Night, because it's very true to you. " Zayn replied.

"True to you?" 

"Yeah, you know. The song is about staying out, getting a girl, partying all night, you know. The things all teenage boys love to do. And despite being famous, that's what we still are, 5 teenage boys." Zayn added.

"I see, and you, Niall?"

"Erm, I would say Stand Up. Mainly because its about doing everything you can to get the person you love, or like. It's relatabel, cause I'd like to think I could be that person to someone." Niall replied, and the audience went into a chorus of 'aww's.

Josh caught Niall's eye at the side of the stage, and blew him a kiss, making his visibly blush, which luckily, only the other boys noticed.

"That's really nice NIall, I'm sure you have just warmed the hearts of thousands of girls with that. Now, I would love to have heard from all of you, but I've only got time for one more, so how about you, Harry?"

"Honestly? Well that's actually hard, cause I love them all. Erm, I suppose my favourite would either have to be Truly, Madly, Deeply, or Irresistible. Basically for the same reasons as the other boys, it is relatable, about falling in love with that one special person. " Harry said, and discreetly slipped his arm around Louis' waist. 

"Well, I'm sure you would make a lovely boyfriend to a lucky girl Harry" Ben replied, and the boys nearly gave him away with laughing at the 'girl' part, even Harry himself, which unfortunately didn't go unnoticed.

"What's so funny? He seems like a lovely guy!" Ben remarked.

Liam leaned back to glance at Harry and winked, signalling that he had an idea.

"No, no, we totally agree. It's just, we were actually talking about that last night, and listing off all the things about him that would, quite literally, repel girls!" Liam laughed, and the tension slid from the boys like a tidal wave, as Harry reached over to do, what looked like, a playful punch on Liam's shoulder, which instead was a thankyou squeeze.

"Oh really? Well, this will have to be our last question, so I suppose it will have to be, guys, what are Harry's "bad" things?" Ben asked, and Harry blushed in prior embarrassment, knowing that, on the spot, the boys could come up with some damn right awful things.

"His untidiness. He literally leaves clothes and things everywhere!" Remarked Zayn, and they laughed.

"His farts. They stink the tour bus out!" Niall retorted, causing Harry to lean forward and reply.

"Hey, Niall! Yours, as we decided, are most definitely the worst of us!" Harry said, and by this time, the audience, the boys and Ben were all in stitches of laughter. 

"His snoring. It's loud enough to wake up all up!" Louis finished with, and they all spent another few minutes laughing before they got the signal through the earpieces that they were done.

"Well boys. This has been a very funny and revealing interview, and it has been a great pleasure to have you on the show. The boys' debut album, Up All Night, is out now, and currently, their debut single What Makes You Beautiful, is still top of the charts! So, let's give it up, for One Direction, who will close the show, with a performance of the song!" Ben shouted, as they all got up, bowed and waved, before departing the sofa and walked over to the stage to perform.

When the song was over, the gave one last bow, before running off stage and collapsing into the dressing room. It was now 9am, and they had 3 hours to rest, change, and travel to the other side of London for their CD signing at WH Smiths. The boys sat in their couples, each on a separate sofa, as they came down from the high of performing.

"Well, I think you boys manage to play that well. You said all the right things, and didn't manage to give it away." Paul said as he entered the room, "Well, apart from when you laughed at the "girl" reference, but Liam, well done for covering that up"

"It was just hard not to laugh when Harry's got his arm around Louis, he's sat next to his boyfriend, and then the interviewer says girl! It was just the worst thing he could've said!" Zayn laughed and the other joined in.

"Well, what would you have wanted him to say? Boy?" Paul asked.

"He could have said that lucky someone, or lucky person, anything but girl!" Liam said, and Paul nodded, knowing that he could've.

"Well, today, you still have the CD signing, the SCD rehearsals and the SCD performance, which is live to the audience but is shown tomorrow night. So, I think you are pretty safe from questions for the rest of the day. Are you about ready to go back to the hotel for an hour to change and stuff?" Paul said and they all nodded, getting up and following Paul down the crowded corridors.

When they neared the exit doors, the screams from the fans could be heard, and extra security gathered around them as they opened the doors, and now they saw why. Thousands of girls were crammed up to the door, screaming, shouting, waving posters and phones, trying to take pictures. The boys wanted to sign some autographs, but the security pushed them along, trying to get them out of the crowd.

Just then, one fan girl reached forward and managed to grab a strong hold on Harry's coat, pulling him down into the crowd of girls and down to the floor. The guard, who was behind him, was distracted, trying to pry Louis from a similar situation, and as he was the last guard, once he had got Louis free, he pushed on, not realizing Harry was gone and stuck within the crowd. 

The girls jumped at him, grappling for a touch of him, surrounding him so that he was no longer visible. They managed to rip his T-shirt, and he lost his jacket somewhere in the riot. His hair was getting pulled from all angles, and he curled up in a ball. He tried to shout for help, but the screams of the girls rendered it useless, and he then remembered he had also left his phone on charge in the tour bus. 

Meanwhile, in the tour bus, Louis was furiously arguing with the security guard. He knew Harry had been behind him before he got attacked, and the attack had really shook him up, as they weren't used to it. When they all got to the bus, he had gone to find comfort in Harry's arms, knowing that it would calm him down, only to find that Harry had not returned. 

"For Goodness Sake! It was your job to protect us, and now Harry is out there in the crowd somewhere! Let me go and find him, you incompetent git!" Louis shouted, as Liam and Zayn held him back from hitting the guard, who stood shocked.

"Look, I'm sorry, I'll go and find him" The guard said, which just made Louis kick and scream even more.

"You? You are the one who let him get into this in the first place. Let me go! I will save him!" Louis shouted back, before collapsing into a heap of sobs, going weak and limp in Liam and Zayn's arms, and they carried him to the sofa, laying him down and kneeling beside him, before scorning at the guard, who still stood there emotionless.

"Look, Harry is out there, and I suggest one of you go and get him, or I will." Liam said, as Paul entered the van carrying a sobbing, hurt Harry in his arms bridal style.

"Harry!" All the boys shouted, rushing over to the other sofa where Paul had put Harry down, while Paul turned to the guard.

"It's a good bloody job I check up on them isn't it? You nearly caused Harry to get seriously injured. Now get out" Paul scolded, and the guard left promptly, Paul slamming the door behind him.

After Harry had managed to sit up, Louis had sat beside him, wrapping him up in a bone crunching hug and sobbing into his shoulder, while Harry rubbed soothing circles into his back. Harry had explained the story to them all, and they had all given him a hug before leaving him and Louis to have some quiet time. Paul had quickly given him the once over, before also leaving, going to the front of the bus. Louis sat down, and Harry lay down, resting his head on Louis' lap as Louis ran his fingers through Harry's unruly curls and massaged his tender scalp, which was sore from all the hair pulling from the fans earlier.

"How are you Haz?" Louis asked, as Harry leaned into his gentle touch.

"Bit shook up, and sore, feel better now I'm here with you" Harry replied, turning his head so he could look at his boyfriend, smiling up at him, which Louis returned.

"I was so scared Haz. After I was pulled in, all I wanted to do was run into your arms, but then when I got back, you weren't here, and I..." Louis said, before Harry jolted up and interrupted him.

"Wait what? You were pulled in too?" Harry gasped.

"Well yeah. But the guard saw me and came to pull me out. I only got it for about a minute, nothing like yours was" Louis replied, grabbing Harry's hands between his own.

"Yeah, but still Lou. You still did, it doesn't matter how long it was for. Did you get hurt?" Harry said, switching their hands so his were surrounding Louis' smaller ones.

"I think I might have a few bruises from some of the flailing arms, but other than that, no. It was more the shock for me, it all happened so quick. But we are both here now, eventually, and we have eachother" Louis replied, staring straight into Harry's eyes.

"Yes, and that's all we need" Harry said.

They both smiled, a warmth filling them both at the affection of the other, before leaning in for a kiss. The second their lips touched, it was like fireworks were going off. It was simple and slow, but the emotions behind it made it feel more powerful than ever before. It was full of love, want, need and passion between them. When they eventually pulled away, they couldn't stop the tears that fell from their eyes. It was the realization that they needed eachother, that showed the unbreakable connection between them that had been formed when they first met that fateful day in the X-Factor bathroom

The bus then came to a stop, signalling they arrived at the hotel, and they broke apart, holding hands and standing up as the other boys came down from the back.

"You two ok now?" Asked Zayn, walking over to give them both a hug.

"Yeah, we will be." Smiled Harry, as he released Louis hand to wrap his arms around Zayn.

"Has that ever happened before?" Asked Josh, as they remembered he hadn't ever be through that before.

"Nope, never. However it shouldn't do anyway. The security in that place was horrid, it's a good job we had Paul, or we may all have gone in." Said Liam, as he replaced Zayn when he moved over to Louis.

"Yeah, I think we are seriously lucky to have someone as good as Paul. He puts up with our manic behaviour, keeps our secrets, and saves us from crowds like that." Said Niall as he moved to also comfort the boys, just as Paul entered from the cabin.

"Wow, you actually compliment me instead of annoying me when I'm not listening? I'm honoured!" Paul mocked, as they all laughed, before they all crushed him in a group hug, which even Josh joined in with.

"We love you Paul!" Said Niall, and they laughed again, as Paul ruffled his hair.

"Anyway guys, it's nearly 10 now, so you have an hour here before we have to set off, go relax!" Paul said, releasing them and opening the door, waiting for them to exit before locking up and following them into the hotel.

When he caught up with them, he realized that they weren't going up to their rooms. Instead, they were crouched down, talking to a little girl, who, after seeing the hotel manageress behind her. He smiled as he watched them give her a hug, taking individual and group pictures with her as she beamed happily. After a few minutes, they all stood up, waving goodbye and promising to see her again before they left, which she squealed in happiness at, before walking towards the lift, looking very happily indeed. Paul followed them, catching the lift before it closed.

"You boys really do make a difference to people you know. I'm proud to work for you" Paul said, and they smiled, thinking back to how happy they had made her.

"Well, we are proud to work with you as well Paul. You're like a second, well a tour dad to us" Liam said, voicing what they all were feeling.

"God, it feels like I've adopted you sometimes!" Paul joked, "But I wouldn't have it any other way"

They all came together in another group hug, as the lift stopped at the boys' floor.

"Anyway, I'll see you guys at 11 in the lobby right? And no food fights this time!" Paul said, and they all nodded, letting go before leaving the lift, going straight to their rooms to relax.

The rest of the day was just as manic as the first part. They were mobbed at the CD signing, mobbed going into the BBC centre for SCD rehearsals, and then a bunch of fans bombarded them into their dressing room as they escaped security. By the time they were up for performing to the audience, they were nearly exhausted, and they weren't ready to face the growing mob of fans outside the centre.

"Paul, is there any way you can pull closer so we can just jump in?" Asked Niall, as they watched from one of the upstairs windows.

"No, not really, and even if I could I would never be able to get passed the fans" Paul replied solemnly, wanting desperately to find a way of avoiding the mob after the morning's events.

"Are we brave enough to face them again?" Niall asked, holding onto Josh's hand tightly as he watched the crowd expand.

Louis and Harry gulped, before holding hands and turning to the others.

"Come on. We can do this. Just hold on eachother, then we can't get lost." Louis said, and the others nodded, even Harry, even though he was still a little skeptical about it.

"You sure?" Said Paul, and they all nodded, doing their pre show handshake before holding hands in a line, and following Paul to the door.

They were nearly deafened by the screams when they opened the door, but they stayed calm, filing out in a line behind Paul towards the tour bus. They came through a few fans grabbing their clothes or their hair, but together, they made in back safely, and they all collapsed and breathed a sigh of relief as they clambered in and slammed the door behind them. They managed to fall asleep on the way back to the hotel, however Paul made them wake up, not wanting them to stay in the tourbus over night. They all retreated to their rooms and fell asleep straight away, apart from Louis and Harry.

Hey guys! So, I've split this chapter into two parts, because it makes more sense like that, so part 2 will be up shortly :) Sorry a million times over for the wait, Christmas has just been soooo busy! I have dedicated this to the amazing @sherlocksweetheart (http://www.wattpad.com/user/sherlocksweetheart) aka the author of Modest Temptations (http://www.wattpad.com/story/8872538-modest-temptations-book-2-larry-stylinson-au), Modest Secrets (http://www.wattpad.com/story/7605164-modest-secrets-larry-stylinson-au) and Modest Delusions (http://www.wattpad.com/32310594-modest-delusions-book-3-larry-stylinson-au) (all of which I recommend you read, because they are amazing! They are Larry Stylinson AU 's) because she is the one who gave me the idea to write and publish my stories :) so Thankyou :)

Love you all! And thankyou for all your lovely comments and votes, they inspire me to continue writing! K xxx


	24. What Fame Brings - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> Louis walks in to find Harry clutching the diary, and Harry spills all.... What was the reason behind it all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys! Here is the chapter we have all been waiting for! The revelation! It took me 5 hours, and lots of going back and changing things to get this chapter right, so I hope it explains everything OK! Please please, comment your views and thoughts about this chapter! It would mean a lot! Also, comment any ideas about the rest of the story please! Currently I'm debating on whether or not to start a new book, like a part 2 to this, because technically, this book was all about Harry's secrets, so it's up to you guys :) Anyway, please read and enjoy, I really hope it all makes sense now! Love you all, and please comment at the end! K xxx

Over in Louis and Harry's room, Louis had walked in to the sight of Harry rummaging through his suitcase on the floor. Harry had got there before him, as he had gone to take Niall his phone, which had fallen out of his pocket during his race to the room with Josh. He silently closed the door, not wanting to distract Harry from what he was doing, and made his way over to the bathroom, quickly brushing his teeth before stripping and slipping into his side of the bed.

Harry suddenly stopped searching, obviously finding what he was looking for, before folding up all of Louis' clothes again and stripping. He sat tentatively on the edge of the bed, clutching the desired item to his chest, and Louis scooted up behind him, wondering what was wrong. Quickly, he realized that it was the diary that Harry was holding, and, noting that Harry would probably want to go at his own pace, placed a hand on his shoulder tenderly, to show he was there and listening, but not in his face. After a few minutes of silence and Harry flicking through the pages, he took a deep breath, and began to speak.

"I was 11. I met this boy that I really liked, Tom his name was. Back then, I had no idea what being gay meant. I didn't know that it was seen as wrong, or weird, or abnormal. All I knew is that he was cute, fit, good looking, and that I wanted to kiss him just like I had kissed all my previous girlfriends. We became good friends. We used to spend all our free time together. We would have sleepovers every weekend, play some kind of sport on the field every school night, do our homework together. But I never told him that I liked him, you know, and that I wanted to kiss him. Anyway, it was his birthday party in June, near the end of the school year, and we were playing true or dare. I got dared to kiss him, so I did. I thought... I thought that because it was a dare, that it wouldn't mean anything. That he would just see it as a joke and that the rest of the people would as well. But he didn't. When I leaned in to kiss him, he shoved me away and called me a fag. The rest of the group started sneering at me, and laughing, calling me names, like gay, fag, weirdo. That day I lost my best mate, and for the rest of the year, I just got laughed at. I never told my mum back then. I thought she would laugh, or shout, or call me names like everyone else did. No one would dance with me at the school disco, because apparently I was diseased and that they could be around me. I was so relieved when I went to a different secondary school to them all at the end of that year. But I could never get it out of my mind."

Harry paused for a moment, tears welling in his eyes, and Louis pulled him into his arms, cradling him and silently vowing to kill everyone that had upset him, especially that Tom. After a few moments, Louis decided to speak up, knowing that this would be the best time to ask the important questions.

"Harry, babe, you didn't deserve that. Any of that. Is that why... Why you stopped talking to me?" Louis asked, feeling Harry still in his arms at the question.

"I... Yes... And I'm so sorry Louis, I never ever meant to hurt you. Ever since then, I knew that I preferred guys over girls, but I continued to date girls because I was too scared of the same reaction, especially as I had managed to get into the popular group in secondary. Every guy that I fancied in secondary, I never said a word to about it, because I didn't want a repeat of before. And I didn't want the same to happen with you. " Harry replied, the tears now falling down his face as he clutched the diary tighter to his chest before continuing.

"As soon as I met you, I knew that I liked you, as in fancied you. You were smart, funny, good looking, an amazing singer, you have an amazing personality, and truthfully, I have wanted to kiss you ever since I met you in the bathroom that day. When we got put in a band together and you jumped into my arms, I was so happy. I thought that maybe you liked me back and that we could be together. But then I remembered about what had happened before, and we just clicked as best mates so easily and quickly, and I didn't want to ruin the best friendship I have ever had. So I kept it quiet. Then I told my mum, as you have probably read in here, and she told me to tell you, because you would never push me away. But she still didn't know about what had happened before, and whenever I worked myself up to do it, I had flashbacks and caved in. All the flirting and everything, it gave me confidence to be myself around you, that's why I would always flirt back. Yet I still didn't say anything. Then you met Eleanor, and I gave up. I realized that you could never like me back, and I tried to get over you, and not let you realize that I was jealous.Then we had an interview, and a fan was holding up a Louis loves Harry sign, and I so wanted to tell you right there and then. But then you said how you and El were going strong and were really happy together, and I couldn't take it. I lost all confidence to tell you, but I just couldn't get over you. That was the first night, when I stormed upstairs and wouldn't talk. I wrote it all down in here, actually, I had been writing in this every day, but that night, I spilled my guts out before you came upstairs. I cried, sobbed, wept about it, and when you finally came up to ask what was wrong, i knew that I would tell you everything if I spoke. And that's how it started. Every day, it just got harder and harder to be around you without telling you everything and breaking down every time I spoke to you. The more I distanced myself, the more things I found I liked about you. Your hair, your voice, your eyes. The way you sometimes talk in your sleep, the way you like your tea in a morning. That night when I snapped at you, I was so so close to just telling you everything. It killed me, seeing you hurt. But I couldn't take the risk of losing you as my friend. I wrote, every night, saying how much I wanted to tell you, the things you had done that day that made me smile and fall in love with you even more, the posters that gave me courage, and the questions that crashed it down. When you guys kicked me out, when you were stood there talking to me, I really wanted to tell you then. But again, I didn't take my chance. The reason I ran away from you when I came from the bathroom was because I thought you had heard me in there. I was spilling my guts out to the mirror, and I thought you had heard me and that I had ruined everything. I heard you, that night. I left you the diary to explain, or to give you some explanation at least, because I was too much of a wuss to tell you myself. I nearly jumped into your arms when you came to the car, but honestly, it gave me the break I needed. I sent the jacket and the T-shirt back with Paul because I wanted you to know that I was thinking about you, and that I was there if you needed me. I had time to figure things out and I nearly got the courage to text you, telling you, but backed out and accidentally sent a blank message. When you texted me back, I realized you had began reading the diary, and I got nervous. Then I ended up sending you the lyrics to torn, hoping to give you a hint, and then you texted me back with the lyrics to 'I Won't Give Up', and I cried, torn between telling you the truth and not. I realized you were trying to say you would help me get through it, but with you still being with Eleanor, or so I thought, then I knew I had to try and get you to stop prying before I ruined everything. Yet you still didn't give up on me. When I told you that you were my problem, I didn't realize what I had said or how you would take it when I sent it. I was desperately trying not to ruin things, and instead I ended up making them worse. The night when I bumped into you at Nando's, I nearly told you again. The girl in there, she was a Larry shipper, and she again gave me new hope. I couldn't resist leaving you that night, so I slept with you, and held you, because I needed to be near you. Nerves got the better of me again, so I left again, but Liam caught me before I did, and confessed his feelings for Zayn. I nearly confessed to him then, well, I gave him a hint anyway, which I think he figured out a lot later on. I saw the Larry Stylinson headline the next day, and saw how much the fans actually noticed. A little stalkerish honestly, but I knew I couldn't keep it up much longer. I didn't want to be away from you. Then Zayn rang me, and told me how me leaving and how I was acting was effecting you all, and I nearly broke and came back home there and then. Zayn shouted at me for blaming you, and I nearly broke Liam's promise, and then ended up causing an argument between Liam and Zayn by covering up for him. Then you sent me the photo of them together, and told me about you and El, and that was when I decided I was giving up fighting. I thought that Liam had told Zayn, so then I got the courage to tell you, but I still didn't know how. Then you sent me the Larry picture, and I realized how much I wanted to wake up like that every morning. I planned it all out, that I would tell you before the interview, if we had time, and I was going to go through the diary and explain everything. When I saw you, I felt like I never wanted to leave your side again. I just enjoyed lying watching a movie with you like old times. Then, when we , you know, ended up grinding and stuff, before we were interrupted, I knew that I would tell you. Then you beat me to the punch and we ended up together anyway, and I nearly kicked myself for not doing it before. When we found Niall, and I saw him being called a faggot, it just brought everything back up, and I knew how much it hurt before, and I just hated the thought that Niall would go through what I went through when he had finally just got with Josh. It was worse for him, mine was just verbal abuse, his was physical. Then I nearly told you in the waiting room, but I was angry at myself because Niall got it worse than me. Last night, I just wanted to show you how much I loved you, I just didn't realize a simple kiss would have that much effect on me! Anyway, the reason I'm telling you now is because I wanted to explain everything to you before we went any further. I love you, Louis Tomlinson, and I apologies for any hurt or pain that I have caused you, and I'm sorry for not telling you earlier, and I hope that somehow I can make it all up to you."

Harry finished and turned in Louis' arms, staring into his eyes.

"Harry, thankyou. Thankyou for having the courage to tell me everything, and I promise that you don't have to make anything up to me. I totally understand why you did everything, and I'm just so sorry you had to live through that, because nobody should have to. But all that is in the past, and we are together, and that's all that matters, right? Because I love you too, Harry Styles, and I will never stop loving you. " Louis replied, taking the diary from Harry's hands and grasping Harry's hands between his own.

"I will never stop loving you either Lou" Harry said back, and they leaned in and kissed, letting all emotions and relief pour out of them.

They both ended up under the covers eventually, holding eachother tight, before Louis asked him one more question.

"Haz, are you going to tell the others about... you know..? Because they were all worried about you" Louis said, as he ran his hand through Harry's hair.

"Yeah, but I think I might just give them the diary to read. Save me pouring my heart out again" Harry replied, and Louis nodded in approval before drifting off to sleep in Harry's arms, knowing that he would never let Harry get hurt again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys! Here is the chapter we have all been waiting for! The revelation! It took me 5 hours, and lots of going back and changing things to get this chapter right, so I hope it explains everything OK! Please please, comment your views and thoughts about this chapter! It would mean a lot! Also, comment any ideas about the rest of the story please! Currently I'm debating on whether or not to start a new book, like a part 2 to this, because technically, this book was all about Harry's secrets, so it's up to you guys :) Anyway, please read and enjoy, I really hope it all makes sense now! Love you all, and please comment at the end! K xxx


	25. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has been acting weird for months, and nobody knows what is up. The tension in the shared house has finally reached breaking point, and the other 4 boys reluctantly decide that he needs to move out for a while. Harry pretty much leaves no evidence that he has lived there, expect for one thing. He leaves his precious diary under the covers for Louis to find. But what secrets will it uncover? Will Louis find out the true reason for his behaviour? And will things ever be able to be the same again?
> 
> The morning after... Will things be ok?

When the sun rose on Sunday morning, all the boys were already wide awake, despite not having to be up early for once, but there was only one reason why - the fans.

At first, they just assumed that they had caught wind of the hotel they were at, which would make sense due to the mobs when Niall got injured, however they soon realised exactly what had happened.

Liam was the first one to notice, when he tried to shut the noise out, and in doing so, end up zoning in on one word - fag. Repeated over and over again by a group of fans like a jeer at them.

He tapped Zayn to listen harder, and his mouth dropped open when he registered it too. Slowly, they slid out of bed and cautiously made their way towards the window, trying not to let the fans see them, and peered though a crack in the curtain, which unfortunately conformed their suspicions.

Half the crowd on their side were holding up ship signs with their names on, saying "we love you no matter of your sexuality" or things along those lines. But the other half, was what shocked them the most. They were throwing things at the hotel, shouting gay fags towards them and holding up anti-gay signs, saying they were dirty and disgusting.

They watched on in horror as the two sides began fighting, and police struggled to pull them apart. Liam wrapped his arms protectively around Zayn as he began to cry, unable to process what was happening.

Soon, Niall and Josh burst through the door, repeating their actions as they looked out onto a private car park. There were dozens of police officers arriving by the second as the fights got worse and the shouting got louder.

But the worst news was yet to come. Louis stormed into the room in a fit of rage and tears alone, slamming the door behind him. He took one look out of the window, and slammed his fist into the wall, probably breaking a knuckle or two.

Liam went to grab him as he swung his fiat back again, pulling him into his arms and holding him securely, before walking him over to the bed where he finally collapsed into a fit of body-racking sobs onto Liam's shoulder.

Out of the corner of his eye, Zayn glimpse a scrunched up piece of paper in Louis' still balled up hands, and gingerly went over to grab it, easily sliding it from his hand.

He read it out loud without reading it in his head first..,

"Dear my Louis,  
After my confession to you last night, I thought I would be able to overcome this, but I'm sorry I can't. I love you, but I can't face the fans after what I heard them jeer this morning. I'm sorry, I truly am. I just didn't know what else to do.

Your Harry xxx"

"What does it mean? What has he done?! " Niall asked as Zayn finished, causing Louis to let out a heart wrenching sob.

"He's left. Gone. And no body knows where" Louis replied, and then, the boys were really in trouble....


	26. Sequel!

Ok guys! So, very sorry about not updated in ages, but it's because I've been really busy, and I've been planning out a sequel! Soo... my current multi chapter fic Give Me Love is going to be book number 3, however I still need to write and publish number 2! So at the minute it is going to be a stand alone fic, but it will follow on eventually! 

But...

Is there any particular things you guys want in the sequel? Please comment your ideas and thoughts and I will try to fit them all in!

 

Thankyou all so much for reading! I love you all! K xxxx


	27. Sequel now up and started!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> http://archiveofourown.org/works/1448323
> 
> ^^ link to the sequel

Hello again! So, I have been busy writing away, and I am now happy to say that the sequel is now up and started! Follow this link http://archiveofourown.org/works/1448323 or search for Love At War by deducing_machine! Hope you all enjoy!


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